She’s the ENEMY (and I’M AN ABUSER so I dominated her) "The one I thought you were gonna say is: she's the enemy." For years, Jay didn't just lie to me about his addiction. He lied to himself about WHO I was. And those lies kept him stuck in porn for decades. The 5 lies addicts believe about their…

How I FAKED RECOVERY (My PURPOSE in life is to BE ENTERTAINED) How did Jay pretend to change when he really hadn't? In this episode, Lori asks 11 HARD QUESTIONS to uncover the difference between performing recovery and experiencing true, internal transformation. Jay answers honestly about the…

I Had to Shut Her Up to KEEP LYING (addiction HARDENED MY HEART) I have that photograph of Christmas. That kid saw so many possibilities. I think he would've looked at me and said: wait, you're 38 years older than me and you're still doing the same stuff I'm doing? That sucks." This might be the…

When She Stops Crying it SCARES ME MORE (how I REALLY felt when she cried) The opposite of love is something OTHER THAN HATE. And when Lori stopped crying? That's when Jay finally got scared. In this raw 26-minute conversation, Lori ask Jay 12 Questions about what really went through his mind when…

Did You Think I WAS TOO WEAK to Leave? (What Addicts Think Abt Consequences) HONEST QUESTION: Did you ever think 'SHE'LL NEVER LEAVE ME, so I can keep doing this'? Most partners wonder if their addict secretly believed they could get away with it forever. In this brutally honest conversation, Jay…

What I Expected Her to Just GET OVER (I Was SO WRONG) – When addicts first get caught, most expect their partner to just move on: “I'm sorry! I quit! let's never talk about this again!” But here's the brutal truth: that mindset destroys any chance of real healing. In this raw conversation, Jay…

HOW I HID My Porn Use while “In Recovery” (every LYING TACTIC) – 6.09S Jay explains many deception tactics he used to hide his addiction. From robotic denials to fake confusion, playing dumb to calculated outbursts, this video exposes the manipulation patterns that betrayed partners recognize but…

The Emotions I Refused to Face (addicts run from these things) – 6.08S In this compelling episode, we tackle the challenging subject of emotional avoidance and addiction recovery. Jay opens up about his struggles with feelings of abandonment, insecurity, and boredom, which led him to turn to porn.…

Trauma is like a concussion, you can't see it, and it can happen in a lot of different ways. Healing a concussion is not an exact science it is a process. Trauma is a concussion on the soul. It takes different paths and requires a unique approach each time. #recovery #pornaddiction #cptsd

"Surrender is not about outcomes but about trust that God is God and I am not." This quote can be found in Henri Nouwen's book "The Way of the Heart".

STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING, THIS IS IMPORTANT If you have never owned a cat, you need to know: 1. They know every pressure point on the human body 2. The paw of an adult cat produces 1.5 kilotons of discomfort You've been WARNED!!!! #catsky #cats #caturday

Addiction is "Toxic self-centeredness manifested in obsession and compulsion." From AA Neal #recovery #addiction

“Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply.” This quote is from his book “The Inner Voice of Love”

Infidelity, cheating, adultery, broken trust of any kind can suck. Healing takes time. #affairrecovery #infidelityrecovery #fyp

Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others. —Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The Voice Kept Saying ‘Just Come Clean’ (ignoring God’s nudging) – 6.07S Jay opens up about the internal voice telling him to confess his porn addiction - and why he actively chose to ignore it for years. We explore: • The pattern of CALCULATED DELAY • What that "voice of truth" actually sounds…

"The Father does not say, 'You were my child; I am glad you have come home.' He says, 'You are my child, and you will always be my child.'" This quote can be found in his book "The Return of the Prodigal Son".

We all mean well. But growth means checking: did my response make things better or worse? If my intent and the outcome are not the same, then maybe I need to rework my process. #PersonalGrowth #recovery

Recovery check: 'Is this moment challenging my growth or threatening my sobriety?' Discomfort doesn't equal danger. Growth happens in the space between urges and action. #RecoveryPosse

“When we accept ourselves for what we are, we decrease our hunger for power or the acceptance of others because our self-intimacy reinforces our inner sense of security.” Book: This quote is found in The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen (page 16).

“In our own woundedness, we can become a source of life for others, because pain shared in love leads to healing.” 
This quote is from The Wounded Healer by Henri J.M. Nouwen.

"Our service will not be perceived as authentic unless it comes from a heart wounded by the suffering about which we speak." This is directly from *The Wounded Healer*.

Being fully loved, is hard, if you are partially known. I thought I could get the love and connection I needed without bringing all of me into the conversation. 💥 You can’t experience love if you are a curated version of yourself. The love you get will always feel directed at the mask. #recovery

“True masculinity is not about dominating others but about having the courage to be vulnerable and to love deeply.” 
This quote is from The Wounded Healer by Henri J.M. Nouwen.

It is hard to be fully loved, if you are only partially known. I (Jay) thought I could get all the love I need while keeping part of me outside the conversation. It isn't possible. And I feel better knowing all of me is accepted by someone (even if it is God alone). #recovery #recoveryposse

YOUR VALUE is like a $20 bill. It's 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐧𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. Your value is the same on your best day AND your worst day. This truth can be humbling. It can also be the most freeing, empowering realization you ever embrace. 💥 Your worth is constant. Always. #recovery #cptsd #trauma

“God loves you more than you can ever love yourself.” This quote is from Henri Nouwen’s book The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom.

YOUR VALUE is like a $20 bill. It's 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐧𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. Your value is the same on your best day AND your worst day. This truth can be humbling. It can also be the most freeing, empowering realization you ever embrace. 💥 Your worth is constant. Always. #recovery #cptsd #trauma

𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐞. In today's video, I reveal the most shocking lie I told. I lied many times to cover my addiction. And it caused more harm than the addiction itself. Go to the full video youtu.be/vH4N7QPBnq8 #recovery #trauma

"We can be sure that God is not going to give up on us, even when we give up on ourselves." This quote is from the book Here and Now: Living in the Spirit.

“I am the prodigal son every time I search for unconditional love where it cannot be found.” — Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming

𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐞. In today's video, I reveal the most shocking lie I told. I lied many times to cover my addiction. And it caused more harm than the addiction itself. Go to the full video youtu.be/vH4N7QPBnq8 #recovery #trauma

How I JUSTIFIED EVERY LIE I Told (Addicts’ Thinking EXPOSED) – 6.06S In this raw conversation, we expose why the lies addicts tell and the beliefs they hide behind increase betrayal trauma. Jay opens up about the shocking justifications for his deceit and the internal struggles he faced while…

"Your ego is not your amigo." - Jay's mentor. #recovery #cptsd #manosphere

Addiction is a bandage on a festering wound. I've seen many people replace the addiction bandage with the "recovery" bandage. The wound underneath is trauma that is managed by adaptive behavior. Validating trauma works, this is steps 4&5 of AA. #recovery #meded

The highest form of human intelligence is to observe yourself without judgment.~Jiddu Krishnamurti

This may be a stretch, but if you don't want to see a bunch of #AI slop. Turn off images on your browser and read the #alttext to see if it is legit. edge://settings/privacy/sitePermissions/allPermissions/images chrome://settings/content/images You can change settings by site.

Love this. It is similar to the "two wolves" framework for addiction: Which one wins? The one you feed. #recovery #recoveryposse #cptsd

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮...𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 You feed it every day by keeping it buried. It drains your energy, steals your peace. 🧠 Secrets grow in silence. ⚡ Freedom starts with ownership. #Shame #Healing #Recovery #Growth

𝟏𝟓 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧-𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞 🇺🇸 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝟒, 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟎 wasn’t fireworks — it was 𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦. Lori left. I woke up. That weekend became my 𝐬𝐨𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞. Here’s how it stuck👇 • 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲 • 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 • 𝐅𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡 • 𝐍𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐞𝐬 🎥 Full story: youtu.be/9XzSpigtBhY #Recovery #PornAddiction #Sobriety

I (Jay) caused a lot of harm because I didn't like being uncomfortable. In my discomfort, I abused the people around me and used porn to feel better about myself. #recovery

The Day I Hit ROCK BOTTOM (this CHANGES EVERYTHING for Addicts) After 15 years of addiction, lies, and hiding, Jay finally found BROKENNESS. Not in a loud, dramatic crash, but in a quiet, rock-bottom moment where he just couldn’t keep lying about it... not to his wife, and not to himself. In this…

The Day I Hit ROCK BOTTOM (this CHANGES EVERYTHING for Addicts) After 15 years of addiction, lies, and hiding, Jay finally found BROKENNESS. Not in a loud, dramatic crash, but in a quiet, rock-bottom moment where he just couldn’t keep lying about it... not to his wife, and not to himself. In this…

For #RyanWalters ( #Oklahoma Edu Sup) and any other man who wants to quit porn and live in the integrity of being who he says he is, I (Jay) have helped lots of men quit, even men who lost jobs and possibly their marriage as a result. Just sayin'. #pornaddiction #recovery

I (Jay) know I am late to this series, but The Wingfeather Saga is right there with The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy when it comes to hilarious footnotes, quirky creatures, and mind-altering similes. If you haven't read it, give it a chance. #booksky #douglasadams #andrewpeterson

We joined Ms. Morgan on Cat-cation near the river. She is wanting pampering, we think. #caturday

"Real love does not say, 'I will take away your suffering.' Real love says, 'I will walk with you through your suffering.'" ** The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom**.