I'm pregnant

I love embarrassing myself in the self checkout line in a country whose language I don't speak

living in scotland means saying "have a good one" and then confusing people

I beat gold stake

everyday I run the risk of waking up and reading an opinion from a 15 year old serbian

grrrr

who's Paul and why are they stretching him

I never thought I'd be truly revolted by a slice of chocolate cake before today

just got on fortnite

playing balatro and I have an eternal photograph and a blueprint. a hanging chad is an easy find that would make this run go nuclear. I have $12 and the next blind is a boss, so I decide to pick up the overstock. what reveals itself? a hanging chad. I immediately die

moshi moshi?

I've been derusting on osu lately and I've actually gotten to a point where I'm setting 300s again, I should go for a 400 because it'd be really funny if my first 300 and first 400 were 9 years apart

everyone is my friend. I love you all you're so cool

Fetch me a fire extinguisher. A Good one. With the foam.

happy new year everypony

akolibed if he was an emulsion of garlic and olive oil: aiolibed

I'm the first osu player ever to have a 100pp score in every gamemode

it's time to play the beatmap december 9th on osu be sure to play december 9th today is the only day you can do it

I will likely not be awake for the game awards but I sure hope they have video games

oh okay sure

they should bring the Harlem shake back

there's not enough white guys who enjoy a cheerwine at the airport

I'm in the Danube River

there's not enough white guys who listen to nujabes and watch northernlion

dude they shot and killed fauna

we live in a fucked up world where people are better than me at video games

Joe Biden Fries

must... gamble...

had a #beer

I'm visa'd up to the gills

who up daving they hot chicken

bloody hell mate. nothing like a 9am #beer

i am an extra terrestrial

Soundgarden

i didn't know a melee major was going on until like 1 minutes ago and I open it up to see moky win. crazy

5/5. GG

i need to see jake Paul's ears eaten

anyone got any tips for not constantly checking my email for something I probably won't see for weeks

this is me

I'm really good at waiting

Chipotle Pastrami sandwich from Jerzey Mikes

i just figured out where old mexico is

*sets a layer of spikes*

i know csr is out on osu but is pp > score a thing yet

i hate that caffeine does nothing to me because what do you mean I have to go to work on 4 hours of sleep and 200mg of caffeine does nothing but make my limbs feel like they're gonna fall off

i actually like when it takes a week to book a time sensitive appointment because of payment processing issues

I'm starting to think South Park is problematic

I'm bald

gawr gura wins the world series

I'm married