my head is . . pounding.

beef jerky, cocaine, and boobs. I love this silly little planet.

I don't think that's going to improve work efficiency—

how did we leap from jerky to columbian nose candy ?

I must now live with the behavior I have encouraged.

if you see a corpse on the couch, no you don't. It just looks like I stop breathing when I sleep. wake me up if you want the cushions, I can move to the floor.

I need to do my rounds, figure out what'd make a good present for some of you . . . while my understanding— and interest for the holidays is very little, I care about a handful of you more.

common, uncommon . . who's to say ! I'll watch any medical procedure, success or failure.

mmh, this is why I love you people. who else can I just have a casual conversation about ugly holiday sweaters, cannibalism, and open heart surgery ?

out of two million a year . . I'm assuming so ?

common enough ? at least three of my previous hosts required it . . . was that my fault ? debatable.

everyone has a few options, but I truly mean this . . . they're really, REALLY ugly. I'm afraid the cultists took it to heart. but surely it beats letters from "santa" written in goats blood.

oh, actually thank you for reminding me. I had the cult make everyone ugly holiday sweaters.

unfortunately most of my topics involve the human body in a multitude of different stages. decomposed, dissected, bisected ... I should really find a new hobby.

so I don't bore you with the details. . . subject change ! how do we feel about open heart surgery ?

I happen to know a lot of cannibalism. . . both fortunately and unfortunately.

would it be classified as cannibalism with me though ?

well, it's better I check in now than never. what all have I missed ? do I need to eat someone ? . . . I wouldn't mind . . .

the only way this could be a good morning is if a comically large piano fell onto someone.

apologies, for vanishing so often .. the sanctuary has taken so much of my time lately. hopefully everyone's day is good, and if not .. then I hope it gets better.

a person with my tastes .. my corrupt heart grew three times in size.

ah, I'll take it I caught one of your favorites. wonderful ! how would you want that prepared ?

I suppose we'll just have to wait and see. I'm preparing it myself— caught some fresh trout just for you.

will I get a please and thank you when I do ?

you don't have to know what it is, there's free food. and that's enough.

there .. that should be enough meat for everyone. ( is it making the final preparations to make a feast for tomorrow ? yes. is it also covered in viscera from butchering fresh meats ? also yes. ) a dip in the springs might be in order ..

( rubbing blood onto its bandaged stomach, sighing in disgust. )

not a fan of how sleepy I get during the colder seasons .. at least I won't be needing many winter clothes. oh, right— good mornings are in order.

hating cats is a red flag idc

raven.xn still struggling to figure out my write tag .. if I need to switch things up, so be it. I'll learn all of this all over again eventually 😭

finally ... rising from the moss and snow that's made itself home over its body. it let itself go, their body returned to that familiar eldritch form.

it wouldn't be the first time in recent history the plague has popped up —

awkwardly enough— I feel more out of place now than ever.

with sanctuary being complete. . . maybe the least I can do is renovate that shed. I did stay in it an awful long time. it needs a pick-me-up.

of course — you're welcome. well, I don't want to distract you from motherhood, but I'm close by if you need anything at all.

I see. . . then may I offer my own faith in you ?

have faith in yourself. you'll be an excellent mother, I have no doubts.

stress effects everyone different — or sometimes not at all. if . . you ever need to talk, reach out. the sanctuary doesn't require my attention all the time.

that nervousness is to be expected, but you're a strong individual. you'll overcome it.

I entirely understand. don't worry, I won't pry. only wishing your family a warm future.

oh, how delightful ! I offer my many, unfortunately late, celebrations. congratulations !

do. . . my ears hear talks of children ?

( rubbing a finger against their head. ) . . .better yet, tea can wait.

drowsy as ever. . . perhaps some tea is in order.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀❝⠀UNIVERSE⠀SEVEN’S⠀SWEETHEART.ᐟ⠀❞ ⠀ ⠀