I just spent 40k on a daedric ring. ask me what it do

the whitest opinion i have is that Jones' BBQ & Foot Massage would not be a sustainable business venture

no one tells you this but video games are soooooo easy when your team is better than the other people who loaded in

i wish elizabeth holmes weren't kinda bad

greatest thing about finding all the RE men hot? they keep getting older and i stay the same age

that surely wasn't H.U.N.K., no shot. after we solve the final secret it will absolutely unlock the 3rd survivor mode. there's no way he was left to die in the ARK. copium tastes amazing btw

why are snaked labeled as duplicitous. there are very few other creatures on the planet with dedicated "im going to bite you now" notifications on them

i was in the er and they had to use an ultrasound to find my veins since i was so dehydrated. when the nurse put the gel on and started to scan i said "is it a boy"? he laughed and said he had never heard that one. sometimes i think the cycle of samsara is more akin to a 1 lane highway than we think

this Josh got me listening to sage the gemini and playing cryptworlds

i dont know why they call religion 'the opium of the masses'. if they just gave me opium every day id have a job and be happy to go to it

this is the funniest tweet of all time to me. what level of hating do u have to be on 2 dreg up every dogwhistle you've ever heard in your life

if you are asked the question "who would you go back in time and fuck" and you don't choose Bill Withers you're an insane person and ill kill you with a hammer

prog would be such a heat genre if they didnt play in circles literally every time

i hope so soooo bad the last paragraph of my wikipedia article says "died by a friendly fire incident"

I know, I know. We've all heard at least 4 mambos at this point. But you have GOT to check this new one out

woke up and hit my vape so hard i fell over and broke my toe

ive come up with thousands of plans in my life, and ill come up with thousands more. i reckon only one of them will get me gunned down in the streets

went to delete my utorrent dead seeds and it said "are you sure you want to delete 283 objects?". man i have GOT to get a job

i know I've said this before but jonathan ferguson could hit me really really hard on the head and id say thank you sir

slurs spouted through GFWL are forever lost, like tears in the rain

this liquor got me wanting to make a jonathan ferguson fancam

featuring the hit single "eather fumez"

man i can't get over project silverfish. i don't think I've played a game before where essentially each and every piece of lore is tangible, and not just another piece of background worldbuilding. its just so damn tantalizing. god i wish the strange shopkeeper would explode me with their brain

i can't learn it if it ain't on xbox

going to my therapy session and sighing loudly until they ask me whats wrong

great news gang! i google image searched 'bitch ass motherfucker' and none of us came up :) Except you.

stop, look, and listen. but PLEASE don't stare

every time i say Jolteon is my favorite eveelution everyone around me grabs the biggest rock they can find and hits me over the head until blood starts coming out of my ears

I FEEL LIKE MAX KEEBLE

if i can be so for real i think a shrimp really could fry that shit if they put they mind to it. they seem like capable critters

someone drank all my liquor and made me fall asleep at my pc. thanks for the best sleep ive had in months, benevolent patron

the best pokemon are the ones who have the Trot Factor. those little critters who amble everywhere. the motherfuckers who be 4 legged waddlin

thank god for the oblivion remake announcement. the fanbase was a few days away from losing it

it's new bread day (new bread day; when you finish the previous loaf of bread and get to start on a new loaf of bread)! if it were not for new bread day i would have slain myself 7 times over by now

meeeeee :3

jessi is so for real. there aint as many people who are as frequently sleepy as me or her. there might be like 5 people on planet earth who can go z for z with me n her. fuck off 8 hours a night sleepers. u aint even remotely tapped in

if kanye were a fox main being criticized for his inability to confirm a kill he would say "dont act like i never toryah"