NOT Bruno Fernandes

"More draws than an IKEA warehouse" FT Bournemouth 2-2 Manchester United

Daniel Farke asked to Farke off by the ref there - sees Red! 🔴

Ever heard of the mute button? 😁

Ruben Amorim caused damage to the big screen television in Manchester United’s dressing room during a furious critique of his players’ performance in the 3-1 defeat to Brighton & Hove Albion. INEOS spokesman has said that 🐀Cliffe will reportedly cut Amorim's wages to compensate for the broken TV.

Dead 😭

Before signing Kolo Muani, Juventus presented a formal approach to Man Utd for Joshua Zirkzee. Loan — salary covered, loan fee, and an important buy option, but United rejected. Zirkzee also told United he wanted to STAY and FIGHT for his place and the Man Utd shirt. [Fabrizio Romano]

Sources say Manuel Ugarte is always one of the last players to leave Carrington, and he is undertaking additional gym sessions after training. [MEN] Setting the standards.

From "Ready for a new challenge" to "Willing to stay" His PR team found no suitors so they will not play the "Love United, rejected big clubs" nonsense again.

BREAKING: INEOS looking to further cut costs by selling all the mirrors in the club and sacking those that get paid to clean them everyday. An insider source has said "These players don't have the spine to have a hard look at themselves, anyways."

A MASSIVE boost for Liverpool FC - Joe Gomez has been subbed off due to an injury! 🤕

Duran red card decision? Shocking. Apparently the FA would rather have the player try to break his momentum and some ligaments than follow through. Game's gone soft.

Let's all laugh at Manchester City. 🫵🏼😂 2 points dropped for Everton. #StayHumble

Yanaited have broken us. Another loss vs Wolves today and we might have to deactivate.

In their last two games: Man Utd (5.24) 3-7 (2.18) Opponents

The boss with one of his boys - Nani! 💯

🚨 Rúben Amorim on Rashford interview: “It’s a hard situation to comment on”. “If I give a lot of importance to it, it will have big headlines in the papers and if I say it’s not a problem, then my standards are getting low. So I will deal with that, I understand that" What a guy!

🚨 Marcus Rashford: “For me, personally, I'm ready for a NEW challenge and the next steps”, told @henrywinter. “When I leave it's going to be ‘no hard feelings’. You’re not going to have any negative comments from me about Man United”. “That’s me. I will always be a Red”.

Alejandro Garnacho has won the Puskas Award for THAT strike vs Everton. 🤌🏼💯

🔴🔴🔴

🚨📰 Manchester United's Starting XI for today's derby with Manchester City has been confirmed! Marcus Rashford and Alejandro Garnacho are both OUT of the squad. ❌ Thoughts, Reds? #MUFC

The rats haven't traveled with the squad, not even on the bench for the derby!

86' Forest 0-1 Villa FT Forest 2-1 Villa Madness!

*speaks to the public about it not being played in public*

Football has missed you. #Pogback

Cheers Vollo!

🚨BREAKING: Authorities have launched a full scale investigation into the racist abuse suffered by Kyle Walker after their defeat to Juventus. Investigations have found the user of the fake, racist account to be none other than Pep Guardiola himself.

Did you know that Luigi Mangione played for Atalanta's Academy team for only one year (2017)? Following a back injury he quit football and later returned to America.

So much chopping and changing 👀 www.skysports.com/football/vid...

I NEED PL FOOTBAWL EVERYDAY.

🗣️ Jose Mourinho has spoken! The manager has hit back at Pep Guardiola's claim that he's won twice as many titles as his counterpart. What are your thoughts on this situation? 👀

WHAT DO WE THINK OF TOTTENHAM?

3 points per game for the last game! 💯

Chido Obi was first spotted and signed in England by Arsenal. Last week he became the Under-18 Premier League's record scorer while playing for Manchester United. Viewed as one of the most precocious young talents in English football, there are plenty who believe in the 17-year-old's potential.

20 - There are three occasions on record (since 2003-04) of a team having 20 shots in the first half of a Premier League match without scoring - all three have come against Leicester City: Liverpool in December 2015 Crystal Palace in April 2023 West Ham tonight. [OptaJoe]

Luke Shaw on IG after his latest injury setback. He's just a Reece James with ability at this point. 🤧

🗣️ Amad Diallo: “Defender, striker… I can play wherever the manager needs. I’m happy to fight for the team”. “I have no problem to play just as the right winger, I can play everywhere. Like I said to the manager, if you need me as a keeper, I’m ready to do my best”. Top notch commitment, Amad!

🚨 JUST IN: Noussair Mazraoui has won the POTM for Manchester United. Thoroughly deserved, Maz. 💯

Blud is barely hitting Cole Palmer numbers but we decided we'll ask Teta about CR7 numbers for the click bait 😁 www.skysports.com/football/vid...

JUST IN: FA will NOT charge Marc Guehi for having the message "I love Jesus" on his rainbow armband but will remind him that religious messages are prohibited.

Joshua Zirkzee: “Hard times create strong people and strong people bond. I think that’s what’s happening now”.

39-year-old Ashley Young could be set to face his 18-year-old son, Tyler, after Everton were drawn against Peterborough United in the FA Cup third round. Beautiful! 🖤

🗣️ "Thursday was a 3-2, but I think we deserved more. Today was a 4-0, I think Everton deserved more..." Rúben Amorim wants supporters to focus on performances rather than results. Eth would've said "3 points eh?"

Man Utd (0.79) 4-0 (0.76)Everton [xGPhilosophy]

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