Some days where my mental state bounces back and forth between hating the world and everything in it and having one safe haven where I feel safe and accepted, I wonder if I'm developing a bipolar personality disorder...

Im not a fan of Grindr. Its simply not a place that works for me. But to hear the news that over in the USA grindr is basically offline on the day of the memorial of Charlie Kirk and Trump and Vance drop biblical imagery, saying its a war between good n evil? Sorry but the writing is on the wall...

Being back home again is fine. My own bed is the best bed after all... but I already miss my friends.

Same lil pigeon, same

Wish I could grow that much... Then again I kinda like being smol... Makes big guys like him feel bigger I bet...

Thai Wellness Studio Marnda. I love going here... Being at my friend's house which I call home is already relaxing but this massage parlor always does such a good job...

Lunch in Zoetermeer with mAh brudda from anudda mudda

Been feeling presentable as of late...

If I look grumpy it's cuz of he sun... @dave.drgn.dad and I looking fly with our new haircuts yesterday.

Off to go have lunch with my cousin. Oh yeah totally forgot to upload some pics of the Efteling from the previous weekend... Oops...

Huff

I feel like my chosen family senses my needs far better than my blood tied family and accepts them way more easily and readily than my blood ties ever did. Wish I could set up a little commune for my chosen family to live with...

The stark contrast between my chosen family and my blood family and how comfortable and happy I feel around either of those is impressive. At least today is making me aware of how much happier my chosen family makes me.

Gonna have to use this as a retort if my religious family starts down this path.

Felt like having something new done to my hair today...

Yeah this sums up my Bsky account.

Hmm... Someone told me not wanting to shave my legs because I have some weird hangup that I dont fully understand about wanting to appear 'at least somewhat manly', was internalized homophobia and toxic masculinity.

Sometimes I think this would bring me extra motivation...

My favourite pokemon being adorkable

Reposting this for myself so I can reference this xD

Okay I fugging know that if you know my personality some and find out some of the things I am sexually into... That this isnt like too weird... But I am both embarassed and impressed by a friend who outed me so hard without me ever telling him this... (censored cuz topic is pr0n)

Low key thinking of shutting out ALL USA related news and information. I dont live there (anymore). I live in a country thats relatively great. But the depressing news of: "kid's diploma gets withheld because he came out as gay", along with MANY other articles is making my hopelessness grow.

P.Diddy pretty much walks and now J.Epstein has no files and commited the self-unalive. Anyone believing in the innocence of these people needs to realize that they themselves have no brain. This is the most corrupt skewed garbage ever. Bet its Trump covering his ass. USA is fuuukked.

I feel like I'm 85% ready to be in a relationship and I'd do better growing WITH someone than continuing to go at everything alone... Sadly I have like 0 prospects/offers and I suppose I'll slowly keep chipping away at things. Really feel like things could be easier if I had an external motivator.

The more I hear about what ff'd up thing is happening across the big pond (assassinations of political figures, deportations of tourists and civillians under the guise of doing something about illegal immigrants, to the weaponization of the national garde, etc) since Trump came back into power...

Wish that were me

Id say something uplifting about pride but I never been to a pride or been very open bout my gayness... Maybe I should make plans to join around in 2026? Happy pride everyone?

Its a weird feeling when someone you knew passed away without you knowing. Apparently I meant enough to this person that their family went through the trouble to find me for like a year. I wish he could have lived the life he was struggling to obtain. Life is often unkind.

Makes me remember the days I watched youtube poop videos and laughed my ass off...

Oh... Today I'm 29... Yay

@v-art.co.uk Extremely happy with my 'Meow' cap I got very recently. Makes me fit in with my chosen family who got caps from you too. Though Im dying for feline shoes to be honest... Id be more patient if my current shoes were not dying and I had money to spend xD

I get the most sentimental the night before I go home from a stay with my chosen family, feeling like the only cure for the encroaching sadness and hollowness is more time with them. The one medicine to all my worries and pain; time with those who love me for me. I guess there are worse addictions.

It's kinda weirdly ironic in a sense that my closest friends going home and knowing I won't see them for a while can be as big a trigger of my burnout as family/religious friends trying to form me into something I'm not. It's like I can't fully be myself without the people I love. Cliche I guess...

I don't live in the UK so I can't vote on this but...

Sometimes we learn that we fell back into the same habit/pitfall that we tried to get out before. Sometimes we make the same mistakes all over again. The trick is learning from it and getting past it.

Twas quite beautiful indeed

Ah yes the classical, getting your hopes up of trying to improve your mood, getting a quarter of the way there and then having it completely soured.

Yup... Definitely stuck in something I can't snap out of. As I'm supposed to be social. Great...

I love my chosen family... I like this touristic corner of my country that I never been to. I like the company and the reasons I'm here. So nothing bad about any of that... That said... Hate to admit that I need a vacation from this vacation :/

Feels like the energy between me and @herrwozzeck.bsky.social today. Me being the obvious feline.

I imagine burnout is like suddenly having to babysit a stubborn kid you shouldn't be responsible for. All of a sudden you dont have energy for the simplest of chores and your body won't listen to a single command to start doing what you should be doing. Meanwhile even fun things feel like a chore.

No matter what way you slice it, Trump, to any other leader in any other country, looks like an absolute undignified terrible baffoon. How did he get re-elected at all? www.youtube.com/shorts/ZOPIg...

It feels bad but I should do another telegram purge of all the people that haven't responded to me in like 10+ months or make me put all the effort into conversations... I know who my real friends are anyway...

I don't understand shit about HAM-radios (although more now than ever before). But it does fascinate me when I get to watch people enjoy/be super into a hobby. @dorje.stego.dad is such a person. It's fun to witness and hear and be told about all these things and learn something I didn't know.

Honestly wish sometimes I was anyone but me. Overthinking 24/7 is so bad and unhealthy for you. If not physically then just for mental wellbeing. It's the stupidest thing too. I've overcome so much hardship in life. So much struggle and strife but I kept going. Yet it's my own brain that undoes me.

Wanting to post edgy cryptic nonsense like back when I was 16 and this is Facebook, just because my head wants so badly to believe that I did things wrong today and I'm a horrible person for forgetting to think a little more before I act out of a casual passing thought.

@dorje.stego.dad and @greenbiteything.bsky.social have a chill little place ^^ Happy to be staying here for a bit :D It be my riferong dream to decorate my shack like they do.

I'm super grateful to my friends like @kryotic.drgn.dad @tuiad.bsky.social and @dave.drgn.dad telling me to be at schiphol 3hrs before my plane leaves... But at the same time I took the most leisurely stroll ever... Chat with security and with some old Spanish lady and I still gotta wait 1hr40min

Today I fly from one friends house to others in england. From fun to more fun yay.

I got proven once again today that my gut instinct on the first time meeting someone is always right. Sometimes you're not sure about someone. Sometimes you get misled into trusting someone because you trust your friend who got misled into trusting someone...