Another head shot because I can’t fit into any gear atm. I feel like my brain is finally levelling back out which is great. Now I ‘only’ need to stop spending obscene amounts of money on take out, start cooking, and go to the gym….. easy 😭

A couple of weeks have passed with wearing no deodorant, and it’s been months since I wore underwear (bar 1 afternoon at the theatre). All good until I sweat through my light brown chinos walking to work this morning where it looked like I pee’d myself. New work setup:

Will a visit to Costco to buy a air conditioner make me feel better? Maybe.. until I look at my credit card statement again. Side note: I haven’t shaved or got a hair cut in forever, but the stache is staching! And the beard is hiding my growing number of chins!

Love being sad for no reason! This time of year is supposed to be my time to shine. Also crazy credit card bills because I haven’t cooked in ages! Debit with stuff to show for it isn’t much better but at least I would be warm in a leather/rubber suit. I can’t wrap myself up in burger wrappers.

8hrs later and I’m reminded I didn’t ask for oat milk.

Post #FFun burgers. 🤤 That’s all!!!

Real talk here! Douching is hardcore witchcraft! Me: #FFun #Fisting

I haven’t played with my hole in a while! Hooking up with my fisting crush again today to rectify that! Let’s see if he gets me open as quickly, and as easily this time round. #FFun

I wore deodorant and underwear yesterday to the theatre… it felt weird, wrong, close?, and just ewww. In other news… feeling argumentative AF. **Steps away from social media**

People have actual issues, and I’m just here fighting with myself 🤣 🤣

The universe knows I need help, and is sending little fluffy hugs throughout the day! Corgis are magically appearing on my walks, and ALL over my social media. Double Corgis!! A few days ago. I’m currently trying to figure out their walk schedule like a creepy stalker.

It is hilarious and infuriating to me that I can sit there and be so upset about weight gain that I don’t want to leave the house.. .so I go and buy pizza and ice cream to make me feel better!???! As I’m doing it I know it makes no sense, and makes things worse, but I do it anyway!

So hairy! So tired! The moustache is out of control, and getting very Lorax’y! And the hair is just ugly! I can’t make that funny or sexy… Well... it’s something to grab hold of, but that’s all I’ve got! #GayBear #HairyBear #HairyGay #GayBeards

Posting at night because it’s usually like screaming into the void 😂 Why do I lack so many social skills? 16-18. I used to sit outside of college and eat my lunch alone. 18-21. I used to sneak OUT of the nightclubs without telling anyone. 21-26. In France. Never socialised with my team.

In urgent need of: Furry butts, cute smiles, happy little noises, dramatic zoomies... Get your head out of the gutter! I need funny animal videos!!!

I’m ok, but i’m not ok. I ordered take out 3 times today, slept from 10a - 5p, and now I’m wide awake. I want to get beaten until I cry, but also just want a hug. I want to talk, but also want to be gagged and left alone.

Day 2 of stopping deodorant. Deliberately choosing hot sunny days to see if i stink, or just smell. I never wear deodorant on days i know I’m meeting my Dad or Dom, and their smells make me feral… so time to try this out! #PitPig #ManSmells #Hairy #GayBear

It’s a 90’s Euro Dance kinda morning. Headphones on, sat my desk, volume limit removed, enjoying the sunshine through the window. Perfection. Pictures…. because your perverts! 😈❤️

Forgot I didn’t refill my prescription, missed a day. Did nothing! Moved bed to couch, couch to bed, missed another. Did nothing! Filled it this morning. Now I’m woozy, irritated, and being emotionally outpaced by a houseplant. ‘Serotonin has left the chat.’

My fat pants from Mr. Riegillio turn up today 😂 They are the exact pants I sold less than 6 months ago because they were too big. Best laid plans and all that?! They had a 40% sale and I was getting upset at having no pants.

Doing laundry at 10pm! I’ve been sat on the couch or laid in bed for 3 days and i suddenly realise i have chores?! Apartment still looks like a bomb hit it, 3 week pile of laundry and trash, 2 weeks of wasted food in fridge, washing up in the sink. At least I’m a (Partly) functional fuck up.

I enjoy sex, & believe it’s a privilege to take a man’s load BUT A fuck doesn’t even come close to creating the energy, closeness & connection a BDSM scene does. Maybe I see romance through a different lense but not much is sexier than hearing a Dom grunt, “fuck yeah”, “good boy” after you scream!

Did anyone else’s parents threaten, “If I catch you smoking, I’ll make you smoke the whole pack”? Anyway, my brain wandered today and made that weirdly kinky. 😂 So… what’s the cigar equivalent, and who’s helping me revisit childhood warnings irresponsibly? #CigarPig #CigarTraining #GayCigar

Thought I’d seek help for this ‘Friday’ thing 😂 “So, I’m having these really strong feelings towards Fridays. And I need to talk about it”

I LOVE man smells! Pits, a sweaty crotch, a hairy ass. Then there’s cigars, leather, rubber, poppers, cum, spit, piss. As I’ve grown into my piggy tendencies I’ve found smell to be huge thing for me. It sets the mood, it makes me horny, it puts me in my place! #ManSmells #ManPits #HairyPits #Hairy

The beard is really picking up the pace with the grey hairs recently and I’m not mad, but the 2 scrawny grey hairs on my chest look sad and lonely. Is this like that awkward stage of growing out your hair style!

The noises this person person gets out of their Drones. 😈🔥 Electro, Rubber, Bondage, Poppers is a match made in heaven. Fry my mind and reprogram what’s left of it! Their profile was too good not to repost.

Me and my best friend have a thing for thunderstorms… unhealthy levels of excitement at the mere mention of a storm! But we never get them! I miss the summer storms from home that rolled on for hours!! Today’s text exchange as a few rumbles and flashes roll about the sky: 💥

I think this weird lethargic feeling is Ozempic? Usually with some soul searching I can figure out a trigger for my brain having a ‘wobble’, but I couldn’t for recently and that’s was weird. I think It’s caused the long ‘naps’ & bad sleep, which leads to me just feeling blahhh. Not fun, not sexy.

Checks clock..

I do not want to work today!! Well.. to be specific, I don’t want to work at my job today. Working on my ass, working on being a good boy, working on being a good #gimp, working on my pain tolerance, working on long term #bondage limits, working on becoming a #cigarpig You get the idea!

On Tues, during a work meeting, selling the business was just casually dropped into the conversation. For the rest of the day & night I spiralled into cake, cheese & tears. Yesterday I asked for meetings with both the Director & Owner and got very positive answers & clarification. #StillWorking

Work drama/ surprise led to a substantial ‘wobble’ yesterday. Shit happens and change is inevitable. Feeling a lot better today but still very uneasy & in my own head. Also, must have slept like a pretzel, or bent double somehow because ouch! Or is this just 36! Here’s my forehead… and me.

I need thoughts on a tattoo idea please. Black out section all the way across my back, probably a box a few inches tall.? Tattoo artist confirmed a cut of only a few mm will create a scar breaking the tattoo. It would become a living and changing piece of work. #GayTattoo #BodyMod #BDSM

If you hear someone say they like men who are bigger than them, do you think he wants someone taller, broader shoulders, more muscled & imposing! Or do you think he wants someone with a larger frame & weight? Figuring out if I offend people whilst I drool mumbling “dam! 🤤 big, hairy, beautiful”

It’s a beautiful sunny day. That means all the beautiful hairy men are already working on their pits. Sat at my desk & all I want is my mouth to taste of piss, ash, smoke, and hairy pits, and for that to linger on my beard and tongue all day… a boy of simple tastes! Self #TT from the weekend.

Until this year I thought my lack of experience was a negative, but I’m realising that this is the fun bit! Finding out where my limits are is a really interesting journey. And playing with people who really want to push me and help me grow is the best! That guidance ☺️.. & forceful encouragement 😈

The noises this toy creates!! Bravo @friendlytoys.ca Lots of @xlube.com and you have the perfect sloppy squelchy hole. Also the sensations of each flair pulling on my hole as I ride it 🔥😈 Here’s a short excerpt from today. #ManCunt #HoleStretching #AssPlay

Self care day complete. Back to work today. Not sure what’s knocked me off my groove but guessing a mix of anything and everything. And my brain often doesn’t need any excuse! The fact i can bounce back so quickly though is incredible to me and proves how secure and happy i am here!

After 3 days of me sat doing nothing at work I’m calling in today. No idea what’s going on but I think I just a reset day.

I took a fist last night! 🎉 Had a crush on them for years! And I didn’t just take it, I got properly fist fucked by it! A year or more ago I took Dad’s fist, it was my first fist ever, and then my gut got angry. I’m so happy I’m healing, and my training has paid off. I’m back! #FF #Fisting #FFun

A couple of days have passed and I still have these wonderful marks from the weekend. It wouldn’t surprise me if there are papers written on this, but knowing you are strong enough to give your body over to someone else so wholly so they can repeatedly beat you, to give you both immense pleasure.

Today’s Show and Tell: #Gapril is quickly coming to a close. You know what’s not closing though! my fuck hole! @toppedtoys.bsky.social Artemis 80 -> Hilt 95 -> Deep Space 90 -> Grip 96 100 reps on the Grip with @xlube.com squelching everywhere making my cage strain. Is it back to Cunt status?

The faces I make 🤣 I may look fucking ridiculous but every bounce had me begging for more. Look at those big hairy tits! 150g clamped on to each nipple (5.3oz) Recon there is a #TitPig in me after all! From @toppedtoys.com #NipplePlay #Hairy #HairyGay #GayBear #TT #Poppers Part 1:

Just ABUSED my nipples for 3 minutes straight, looking like some hairy, demented burlesque dancer doing a fucked up nipple tassel routine. I have a 3 minute video, wanna see?! #NipplePlay #NipplePig #PainPig #HairyGay #GayChasity #Locked

I’ve had the biggest crush on a muscled, hairy Vancouver based Top FFister for years now. And now I’m finally in town we should be able to meet. I’ve been keeping him informed of my training. #FF #GayFisting #GayPig #PigPlay #Fisting #ManCunt #HairyHole #SloppyHole Hole courtesy of @xlube.com

I have a VERY habitual nature that verges on addictive when it comes to food. I have such an unhealthy relationship with food and have done since I was a teenager. To break the habits I’m using the weight loss jab beginning with O (don’t want the normies finding me). Cue groans of disappointment

I attended #Rubbout this year and it was my 1st kink event (excluding bar nights). To say I was anxious is an understatement but I threw myself in the deep end & had the best experience! I volunteered, went to the parties & events, and even enjoyed a dark room for the 1st time. Only photo I took

I’m not a 100% sure but I think I may be dead?! I have some thoughts & feelings on my 1st event weekend ever at #Rubbout that I will share soon, but right now I’m trying to not fall asleep at the desk. I can’t thank everyone I met at Rubbout enough!! Feeling so lucky! #GayRubber #RubberFetish

Dear Diary, It’s #Gapril 14th. The #GapeKeeper93 caught my eye this morning. I quickly cleaned out & my set my routine into action. Finger my cunt with Elbow Grease, fill cunt with @xlube.com, hollow cunt out with #Artemis80, ride #Hilt95, and finally get stuffed with the GK. My hole after xoxo