You know what I haven't seen much of lately? Pickled beetroot. It used to be everywhere...didn't it? I'd swear it was popular back in the '80s.

Senior illustrator, with 20 years of experience and a specialty in game art. I haven't been able to find a paying project for months. Can you help? Every share is appreciated.

manifesting this out into the universe

...noisy neighbours.

Confession: I have never in my life put a) haggis, or b) a fish finger in my mouth. I made a vibes-based decision as a toddler that these were not food, and have stuck with it all the way to my forties. Would I like these things? Maybe? Will I ever know? NO!!!!!

You know what I haven't seen around lately? Mobiles. I mean, not mobile telephones, but, y'know. Mobiles. Those delicate wireframes you hang from your ceiling, with little ornaments dangling off them. Didn't everyone have mobiles in, like, the '90s?

Deeply unpopular gaming opinion: "Dawn of the New World" was more fun than "Tales of Symphonia." (Not a better story, or a better-designed game...but I had more fun with it.)

The way I know psychic line callers don't REALLY believe in psychics is, almost all of them ask one of two questions: 1) when will I find love? 2) when will I find a job? If you could talk to someone who could SEE THE FUTURE, is that really what you'd ask? Really?

The villain of my dream last night was some guy who kept whining because a skunk had skunked, and its smell was strong. I said to him, hey, man, who smelt it dealt it. He said, it's not a fart. I said fart rules apply, and banners appeared everywhere, every one reading FART RULES APPLY.

I've posted this before, but it always cracks me up. (It's a bad art history joke, about "The Death of Marat.")

We should celebrate more joyous events by blowing vuvuzelas. Just married? VUUUUUUUUU! Graduating? VUUUUUUUUU! Day at the beach? VUUUUUUUUU! Dog just finished obedience training? Not VUUUUUUUUU, because dogs don't like that, but later, when the dogs are gone, very much VUUUUUUUUU!

You know what would be good? Pop-Tarts, but with mincemeat pie filling, and a cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg glaze. ...actually, just a mincemeat pie, please.

See a pigeon, post a pigeon #birds

At my primary school, we had a bully named Robbie. Robbie's big thing was, he'd go up to someone and go "I think I smell a stinky pooh, coming from Y-O-U!" Then everyone would hold their noses and laugh.

The problem with Netflix recommendations is...there's two kinds of shit on Netflix: the shit you WANT to watch, and the shit you put on as background noise when you're home alone. There's MORE noise shit on there than, y'know, signal shit, so the noise ends up being, like, ALL your recommendations.

Last night, I dreamt I was somehow renting again, and my landlady barged in to tell me I didn't have enough furniture, and my bare flat was making the building look shabby to anyone looking in from outside. Not the worst dream I've ever had. Not the best, either. A solid C-.

i’m so tired of this. musicians should be able to make a living. same w all artists. (for me, this is why ai generated slop so fucking insulting. we’re not even allowed to own the contents of our minds anymore—not without some jackass coming along and stealing it.) pay artists a living wage.

There was this old Windows game, I think just called "Rats," and you had to eradicate all the rats before they could breed. If they DID breed, they made a noise like "oh, oh, oh, OOOOOH!", and when I think of that game, I can hear it like those rats are right in the room with me.

With the absolute deluge of game remakes lately, any chance of at least a "Below the Root" port? I normally hate platformers, but I was obsessed with that game ALL through fourth grade. Also, Radiata Stories?

It often takes me a while to understand words set to music. This has led to some strange conversations: "What language is this?" "Uh...English?" "♫ Bravo, bravo, è già mezzanotte... ♫" "What are you singing?" "I'm singing along with this song on the radio." "That song is in Russian."

Remember that fad in the early 2000s, where you'd find a song sung in Arabic, but subtitle it how it sounded in Swedish? Den hatten lever så roligt...hatten är din, hatten är din. HATT BABY, HATT BABY! The song in my head today is "Hatten är din," also known as "Habbaytek," by Azar Habib.

Can't say I'm surprised to see the AI companies making a bid for the live porn space, more than twenty years after the first (?) premium rate sex chatbot, "Natachata," made a barely-perceptible impact on the British SMS sex chat scene.

"Mr. Nice" is the single most boring book I've ever read. Bo-ring.

Has a comedian ever gone onstage, told a joke, then pulled out a little tape player and played some canned laughter? I don't know why, but the thought of someone doing that is cracking me up.

Angry borb! (Song sparrow, Vancouver, Canada, 2016) #birds

Ever been doing something you thought would be fun, and it suddenly hit you, "hey. This isn't fun"? I can't put my finger on why, but I'm not enjoying the Final Fantasy Tactics remake. Could be just that it's not Tactics Ogre. But I love lots of TRPGs that aren't Tactics Ogre.

There's a spider on your head.

I wonder if embroidery is a kind of art I could do with limited vision...? I get the sense I'd be able to feel a fair amount, and make up for the visual shortfall.

Birb Bic pen & white gel pen. Halloween sketch for a patron.

Once, ages ago, I butt-dialled a friend. She waited till my surroundings were quiet, then screamed "LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH!" into her phone. My reaction was as you'd expect: lots of screaming and swearing. Took me forever to twig to what'd happened.

"It's Bouquet!" (Oh, my heart!)

I was SO looking forward to this Final Fantasy Tactics remaster, only to boot it up and...microtext. No accessibility options? Really? I can't get a font large enough to be legible? #disappointment

Whenever I see "he was progressive for his time," I think "was he? Or was he actually pretty middle-of-the-road, and that's why his voice has survived for posterity?" Hate to think what'll be handwaved for our generation, by saying we were "very much of our time."

Imagine a bird with a big, sloppy dog tongue... I mean, really picture how that would look. Imagine yourself getting slurped by a sparrow. Now, try to unsee it. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

The Canadian government's decision to end home post delivery, in favour of community post boxes, feels like a massive fuck you to disabled Canadians living in rural areas. If you can't get to the post box, you can't get your post, and you need to use pricer options like FedEx.

Odds of no cowbears in new Katamari game? (Please, no cowbears. We hate the cowbears. And they don't fit with the historical theme. Which era had cowbears? NO ERA. NONE.) ...actually, screw using history to say a thing can't be in a work of fiction. FINE, if you must. Bring on the cowbears.

I've always made fun of the "Big Mac, no meat" item on the McDonald's menu. It isn't a Big Mac with plant-based patties. It's a regular Big Mac, but with no patties at all. Today, having a sore throat, I decided I'd like to eat just bread softened with sauce, so I ordered the "Big Mac, no meat."

When you order a bunch of crap you don't need from 7-Eleven just to get a Slurpee, and they bring all that other crap, but not your Slurpee... (I have a sore throat. The crushed ice helps. The sugar probably doesn't, but I want it anyway.)

I've been working on something fun behind the scenes... This HIGHER MAGIC audio cut scene is an exclusive preorder incentive. It stars 3 of the amazing voice actors I worked with on @hauntnowpod.bsky.social. 🧵 @htpbooks.bsky.social @htphive.bsky.social

Courts need to stop giving so much weight to young men's "potential" during sentencing. They've fulfilled their potential for violent crime. Maybe they had other types of potential, but that's not what they chose to pursue.

I use my phone mostly for taking pictures of sell-by dates, zooming in on them, and seeing if my food is still safe to eat. I don't talk on the phone much. I text on Signal, on my laptop. Browsing, too, is a laptop-only task. I mention this to set the scene for a ridiculous story:

Playing Stardew Valley doesn't make you fascist. Wanting to play IRL Stardew Valley in a lily white post-apocalyptic cottagecore paradise makes you super king mega fascist.

Anyone remember the title of the Tales from the Crypt/Vault of Horror comic where the guy had a telephone in his grave in case he got buried alive, but when he tried to use it, all the lines were busy? Then it either shows a newspaper, or the Cryptkeeper comments that it's December 7, 1941?

The big drawback of platforms like Bluesky, which have "followers" instead of "friends," is that you get situations where someone cool follows you, so you follow them back...then one day, you realise they're no longer following you.

I made it a Hairy Batman crossover issue!

I'm not saying I'm NOT going to buy all these Dragon Quest remakes. Obviously I am. I love Dragon Quest. But...Dragon Quest Builders III? Any news there?

For a few days now, I've been seeing this "if you see this, retweet with a random photo of a celebrity from your phone" tweet floating around, and I was genuinely confused at how ALL these people had been in celebrities' homes taking their pictures--and at what good photographers some of them were.

When I posted this a few weeks ago, I had NO idea this song had been co-opted by groypers. I was honked at my boss over an ongoing pay dispute, and was singing a verse usually sung in labour contexts, in protest of unfair workplace conditions. This was not a far-right dog whistle.

Hey! It’s a full moon. It’s a lunar eclipse. It’s a giveaway! Win an annotated copy of HIGHER MAGIC and some moon-themed stickers! 🌚 Details in thread.

Hey folks! Money's tight since I had my hours reduced, and I have some upcoming payments, so I'm opening ✨ art commissions ✨! If you're interested in letting me draw your blorbos, reach out at [email protected] or on Discord @thiefprince. And if you order today, I'll throw in something extra! 💕