My new favourite game: trying to sneak past a sleeping Bird without waking her up. (It never works. She'll go to sleep and ignore me if I'm walking past her repeatedly, but if I do it just once, she always wakes up.)

It's finally out: "Tu vuò fà l'Americano" is out of my head. "Is you is or is you ain't my baby" has taken its place. Move on, man; sounds like she ain't.

What's the name of that videogame where, if you can't find clothes, you have to run around naked the whole time? (This would be something quite old.)

When I was a kid, I used to draw antennae on everything--including, occasionally, other people's foreheads. This old ink drawing is a throwback to that. Somebody out there has a colourful tattoo of this, which is better than the original picture. I don't know who it is, though.

The song in my head today is "Tu vuò fà l'Americano." Why, God, why?

Bird: [scratching a seashell with her beak for like an hour] Me: Could you not? Bird: [scratch...scratch...]

The toilet minigame in Yakuza 2...what? I mean...WHAT!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!!!?? (Apparently, it's a real game in the real world, which doesn't make it any less WHAT?)

The song in my head today is "Il dolce suono." I hate when I get a song in my head I can't possibly sing. Like, there's no way, in no possible world. Can't do those sorts of things with my voice.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever been criticised for? Me? Turning over the "wrong" way in bed. (I rolled onto my stomach, then onto my other side, rather than rolling onto my back, then onto my other side. The effect is EXACTLY THE SAME!)

Accidentally pressed something on my phone...

The song in my head today is the Inspector Gadget theme song, and...did you know the ONLY lyrics to that are "go, Gadget, go?" I could've SWORN it had words to it. Whole rhyming verses.

More and more lately, I've been seeing gamers on Reddit posting videos of themselves playing games on CRT screens. I like this, because I've talked a lot about how I miss the blurry glow of a CRT screen, how everything's less sharp and more dreamy-looking. Seems I wasn't alone.

Oh, it's KHAKI suits... (For as long as I can remember, I thought the lyrics to "Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?" went "Once, in tacky suits--gee, we looked swell...") The song in my head today is, see above.

I've been trying not to spam Bird too much, but this is the bird I've been talking about (and to) lately. Her play area has been significantly upgraded since this GIF was made. I'm waiting for her flight feathers to grow back, so she can use it properly. (Didn't realise she'd been clipped.)

I don't have many GOOD pictures of birds in flight. I have a whole lot of FAIL ones, then these. (My attempts to catch a black swift in flight were just empty sky, so have some gulls. Far more my speed.) #birds

The bad-luck picture: 1) It's a picture of my ex-girlfriend. She dumped me, and I was left drawing her stupid butt 2) I've been hit in the head TWICE by this picture falling off a high shelf. It has a heavy oak frame. 3) Two people have inquired about buying this picture, then reneged.

Explain your @ Once, in Texas, I was about to eat a hamburger, when a grackle stole the lid off it, and flapped its wings over the rest of my meal, ruining it. I shouted something like "you damn dirty packbawky," and since then, I've used "packbawky" to refer to social-type urban birds.

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I start most mornings with a long conversation with Bird. Because she doesn't talk back, the subjects we cover are all on me. ...I talk about work WAY too much.

Quote post with your yellow art. 💛 This is so bad, and I feel bad piggybacking it off such a beautiful post, but I don't HAVE much yellow art. Unless you count this pissed rug from "The Big Lebowski." It tied the whole room together.

The song in my head today is "Las Tres Llamadas." I only half understand it. (I should bite the bullet and learn Spanish. It isn't THAT different from Italian.)

Today's vibe is a lentil stuck to your foot, from the kilo bag you spilt five years ago. :-(

This dog inspired a new game: "Dog or Not Dog?" This game is for people with poor vision. How to play: * spot a distant object that may or may not be a dog; * photograph that object with your phone camera; * zoom in on it and see if it's Dog or Not Dog.

Today's vibe is, Bluesky announces group chats are here! ...you have never in your life been invited to a group chat. :-|

Ever been in an online conversation where initially, it's you and one person, but then several more people show up, all of whom know each other better than they know you, and suddenly they're talking AROUND you, to each other, and you're invisible in your own conversation? Awkward.

The song in my head today is "Vitti 'na Crozza" (again). I sang it for Bird. She made beak noises the whole time.

This is a question for people who grew up in the '80s in Ayrshire: what is a "pimp," in the context of "[So-&-so] is a jobby and a pimp"? (When I was four or five, and there was someone we didn't like, we'd call them a jobby and a pimp. There was a song. It was stupid.)

What does this noise mean, made by a budgie: BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ! It's a short and sharp series of loud buzzing sounds, which I at first took for violent sneezing. But she isn't sneezing. Her chest doesn't hitch. She's made this a part of her regular noisings, and does it mostly when I'm around.

The song in my head today is "Palmdale." I never stopped to think, where even IS that? Somewhere in the USA, I guess, but nowhere I've been. Wherever it is, the singer seems fond of it.

* I put mustard on popcorn; * In private, I eat most foods with my fingers; * I put WAY too much wasabi and ginger on sushi, and a little too much soy sauce; * I only eat vegetable sushi; * Every food brand I love gets discontinued. This is less of a food crime and more of a curse.

Applying to jobs on linkedin with my 8 different resumes and cover letter types, trying to get someone to throw me a fuckin bone!

Forgot Bird wasn't in her cage, and got a HORRIBLE FRIGHT when she flew past my door. I was like SHIT, GIANT MOTHS ARE INVADING MY HOME, then two seconds later, oh, that's just Bird. (I'm easily frightened by loud whirring noises.)

Remember in the '80s, making cheap lapel pins by popping the heads off safety pins, threading seed beads on their back wires, then putting their heads back on? My school had a major fad for that. And we wore them on our shoelaces, not our lapels.

Today's vibe is a bit of wet newspaper stuck to the side of your shoe, and when you try to kick it off, it sticks to your other shoe.

Videogame observation: I should hate the Yakuza series. It's * a button-mashy brawler * full of bullshit minigames * set in a series of ugly downtown locations * not good-looking at all * brutally violent, but also kind of kiddy * horny AF? It's everything I find annoying. I can't stop playing.

I spent more time talking to birds last month than to human beings. (Well, to one bird.) This isn't as sad as it sounds. I'm referring only to out-loud talking. I spent plenty of time typing to other human beings, and only a couple of hours a day talking to the bird.

Yesterday was World Parrot Day, and I didn't post a parrot! Today, I am remedying that with this picture of two budgies, which totally count as parrots. (It's not AI--the toes are on wrong due to human error. This picture is like 25 years old, and I wasn't familiar yet with budgie foot anatomy.)

When I first watched "Breaking Bad," I misheard when Walt introduced himself as Heisenberg. I thought he said "Eisenheim." I thought it was a reference to "Eisenheim the Illusionist," which is about two magicians in a sleight-of-hand slapfight. (Wouldn't have been ENTIRELY out of place...)

I don't take a lot of pictures of this bird, because she doesn't like lenses or phones near her. But this was from a distance. I put perches everywhere, but THIS is where she sat.

The song in my head tonight is keeping me awake. It is "Vainement, ma bien aimée." (I can't literally hear the song. It's not, like, an auditory hallucination. It's just a regular song stuck in my head.)

Today's vibe is the way your mouth feels when you say "ouaouaron." Ouaouaron.

The song in my head today is "Hit the road, Jack!" This morning, it was "Ich bin die fesche Lola." Today has been a weird day for the music in my head.

Loophole: I'll give it all to people who need it--bail funds, trans people fighting JKR, the hungry, the sick. This isn't ridiculous, so I'll become brain damaged and evil. But it won't matter, because I'll have no more money, and no power to act on my horrible impulses.

The song in my head today is "Dirty Old Egg-Sucking Dog," which is also a good nickname for me. (Well, no, it isn't. I may be old, but I'm clean. And mostly vegan. I certainly don't suck any eggs.)

'Hide and Seek'

What do I do about this? I've got a pet bird that doesn't appear to enjoy spending time with me...but also won't let me take a nap. Like, the whole day she'll be flying around, ignoring me completely, but the second I lie down, I get SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK, until I get up.

The doctor in "Godfather Death." Death was that kid's father figure, and he only had to disobey him TWO TIMES for Death to give up on him. What an arsehole Death was. A kid reading that does wonder what it would take for their own parents to give up on them.

This is a drawing of a house sparrow, which I did some years ago. I like house sparrows. I've got an eye appointment next month, and I'm hoping for good news about my vision. I'd like to get back to drawing more. #birds

Ooooooooooooh...new Dragon Quest Monsters game! I'm excited! <3 (I know some fans are disappointed because no remakes were announced today, but something tells me they're coming. Not right now, maybe, but they'll be along.)

Every time I talk to this bird, it sticks its head under its wing and goes to sleep. (You know you're boring when...)