The song in my head today is "Addio, sogni di gloria." My head-radio is on an oldies kick.

I'd never have called Schubert my favourite composer, but whenever I look on my phone at my "most listened" list, there he is. (And Marlene Dietrich, sometimes.)

The song in my head today is... Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl... (et cetera). This one may stick a while. It has a way of doing that.

Which would be most distressing? a) something fragile, like a butterfly or a spider, stuck in your hair; b) something noisy but unseen living in your walls; c) your pet lets you know it no longer loves you?

Ever fallen asleep with a podcast on, and had a dream where you were part of the podcast conversation, but whenever you tried to answer a question or add an observation, some dicknose jumped in and talked over you?

Apropos of today's bread discourse: I once baked a fly into a loaf of challah. I ended up baking a whole new loaf, because I didn't know how far fly juice could spread through bread. In my visual memory of this incident, one of its wings was sticking up sadly. This is probably untrue.

Today's vibe is that rush of puzzlement and disappointment when you open your morning crossword and realise the crossword you did late last night was actually today's, and now there's none left. :-(

This is a question for birders/bird photographers with non-massive budgets: how are you affording your 800mm+ lenses? (Bird photograph attached to attract more eyes.) #birds

If huge alien beasts came to Earth, but didn't do anything but wander around investigating things with their noses, would you think we should: a) ignore them; whatever; live and let live; b) try to get rid of them; c) eat them; d) other?

A videogame question that's bugged me for years: was there meant to be a third ending for "Breath of Fire IV?" The first time I played it, I got the bad ending, which I honestly thought was going to be the good ending. I was sure if you joined with the Emperor, you could temper his rage.

The song in my head today is "Tanti auguri." Tanti auguri a chi tanti amanti ha! Tanti auguri in campagna ed in città! ...oh, I've got none.

Every so often, I read a tweet I don't understand: I know what the words mean, but in combination? Is it politics? Technology? Some kind of botspeak? 99% of the time, turns out it's some kinky shit, so divorced from my own interests it sails over my head.

The perfect level of fame would be the level where people care which song you have stuck in your head today, and let you know when they have the same one.

The song in my head today is JUST Otello shouting "A terra... e piangi!" at Desdemona. I have four fucking words stuck in my head. (If I don't stop singing them, my budgie will learn them. Well, no, she doesn't talk. But what a nightmare, if THAT got her talking.)

I'm not a great bird photographer--I don't get very close, and I don't have great vision. But gulls are so brash around humans, they'll land right next to me, allowing me to spot moments like this. #birds

"Trump's Gas Crisis" trending and no fart jokes? (I'll see myself out, but come on!)

Today's vibe is that smell in the air that might be weed, or might just be a faint nasal memory. The ghost of a doobie. A ghoobie.

Film you've watched more than six times with a gif. hard mode: no star wars, star trek, lotr, dc, marvel, disney, pixar, dreamworks, spielberg, cameron, wachowskis, or ghibli. (I can think of two movies I've seen 6+ times: "Unforgiven" and Zeffirelli's version of "La Traviata," which had no gif.)

But let's talk about the time that researchers both failed & succeeded in demonstrating the limits of magpie social intelligence. It starts with harnesses! Researchers at Univ of Queensland developed a bird-friendly GPS tracker weighing less than 1 gram: small enough not to impede flight.

The song in my head today is "Dove sono i bei momenti?" Does every human being have a song in their head at all times, or only some of us?

I wish I liked peanuts.

Thought I was biting into a delicious potato. It was a horrible bit of boiled turnip.

One time, I accidentally stuck kimchi up my nose, and I tell you, Internet...it burned like hell. When I got online to complain about it, of COURSE someone popped up to tell me kimchi isn't even spicy, but a) this kimchi was, and b) YOU try applying kimchi directly to your nasal passages.

I've got to sell this bloody novel. (Ought to try submitting it somewhere, oughtn't I?)

Post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet. This is Rat B. (There was also a Rat A, but she wasn't as good at sitting for pictures.) Rat B was mostly blind, and had a habit of walking off my desk and into the dustbin.

Videogame observation: I think the reason I don't like Animal Crossing very much is, getting new villagers is FAR too random and takes FAR too long. By the time I get the ones I want, I've completed every other goal, so filling in that last villager spot makes the game complete in my mind.

Hats off, today, to every kid who had a pet toad and didn't name it Horny.

Are there any more books like "Rejection: Fiction," by Tony Tulathimutte? That book was high octane pure distilled cringe, and I shamefully want more.

How does it feel to be an Iranian right now? 🧵

Constance holds the record for the most bao buns eaten in a single sitting. Get notified when my mini book of monsters launches on Tuesday at 1pm BST! tinyurl.com/mbom3 #monster #cutemonster #art #goblincore #cutecore #hopecore

www.patek.com/en/collectio... I will never in my life own a watch like this, or even get to try one on...but isn't it SO COOL? Especially the "making of" videos, showing how it's put together... And it has a bird on it. #eyeslargerthanwallet

Last night, I dreamt I left the door cracked, and about a million gulls squeezed in.

The Kickstarter for my new book of robot art is now counting down in hours. Not long to go! www.kickstarter.com/projects/mat...

My four-bean salad only has three beans! ...unless chives are now a bean?

The song in my head today is "L'Elefante Gay." When I was in the closet, that was my song. I figured one day I'd get up and sing it (in what context, I'm not sure), and I would be, like...out. That was not how it happened.

The song in my head today is "À Paris." I know maybe half the words. Which is pretty good for me. I know a lot of half-songs and bits of songs, and not too many whole ones.

We are into that time of year where the morning light on my monitor gives me a headache.

The song in my head today is "Firenze sogna." Makes me fancy a holiday, somehow.

I sometimes have a dream where I'm curled up in the feathers of a very large bird. IRL, I wouldn't like that. There would be mites. Also, the average bird is very dusty. In the dream, I love it, and never want it to end. #birds

The song in my head today is "Parla più piano," but the car-horn version Paulie had in "The Sopranos."

Happy #TransDayofVisibility, horror lovers! If you're looking for a book featuring a transgender protagonist (written by a transgender author) look no further than 'The Other Face of Sympathy'; Edward learns of monsters via the diaries they left when they were human. books2read.com/u/mvxDE2

Had a dream where woolly mammoths made a resurgence, and they were a LOT woollier than we thought. Like, basically cotton balls. They were floating about like great woolly sheep, navigating by trunk-feel because their eyes were woolled over.

I have, in my lifetime, introduced four people (that I know of) to Rogue/Nethack/ADOM. I've introduced so many people to birding, I've lost count. Birds are THAT brilliant, it's easier to get people to go out and look for them than to sit on their arse and play a computer game.

Once, ages ago, I typed "Моя собака" into Google search. I don't remember what I was searching for, but Google's FIRST suggestion was...Моя собака меня не любит. Моя собака меня не любит! "My dog doesn't love me." Today, I got bored and decided to try this in a few different languages.

I wonder what percentage of people who don't like pineapple on pizza don't like pineapple in general? I don't like pineapple on pizza, but my not liking pineapple isn't specific to pizza. I don't like it ANYWHERE, at least in solid form. I do like pineapple juice.

A long time ago, in about 2014, I went about 2 months with no work to do. I had a job, but I was between projects, so I was essentially sitting around doing nothing. During that time, I got addicted to mobile games, and here's how that addiction ended in embarrassment: (cont'd)

The song in my head today is... THE SOUND OF HOOFBEATS 'CROSS THE GLADE GOOD FOLK, LOCK UP YOUR SON AND DAUGHTER! BEWARE THE DEADLY FLASHING BLADE UNLESS YOU WANT TO END UP SLAUGHTERED! BLACK ADDER, BLACK ADDER, HE RIDES A PITCH BLACK STEED! BLACK ADDER, BLACK ADDER, HE'S VERY BAD INDEED!

I don't get the hype around Waffle House. I tried one in Georgia back in '96, and it was just breakfast food. Breakfast food at night, mind you, but still breakfast food. And their waffles were Eggo-tier. What am I missing?

Today's vibe is not my ex who wouldn't sit next to me at dinner because I had mushrooms on my plate. Today's vibe is the expressions on the faces of everyone else at that table.

For me, the worst part of "The Room" by Hubert Selby Jr.--a thoroughly unpleasant read by almost any metric--was how strongly I identified with the narrator for the first few chapters. I, too, dream up comforting fictions to ease the indignities of living. (Who doesn't, right?)