New logo for the band.

Happy birthday to Salt Lake City’s Nightmare Theater! On this day in 1962, the cult favorite made its debut with Attack of the 50 Foot Woman — and Friday nights in Utah were never the same. www.amazon.com/Complete-Ind...

A new illustrated Intergalactic Language Mercenary is about to hit the bookshelves!

Robert Kennedy announced today that health warnings on cigarettes will be removed. He cited a review of the data on smoking and cancer, claiming the methods looked just like those used in vaccination studies. "It's the same 'empirical science' hogwash," RFK said, taking a drag on a Marlboro.

RFK announced a comprehensive mask ban, extending even to medical facilities and operating rooms. When asked whether this might lead to a rise in infections, especially during surgery, Kennedy replied, "Surgeons are required to pray before each surgery, so infection is not a concern."

Trump announced a new agency: the Department of Disaster Alteration (called “Sharpie”). Its mission: to tackle hurricanes, wildfires, and floods using cutting-edge map alteration. “I’ve proven it works for hurricanes. It’s a great step forward in disaster prevention,” he said. "And inexpensive."

The Institute's Summer Seminar Series presents: "Get the Religiously Indoctrinated to Vote for Your Candidacy." Case Study: President Donald Trump. Learn how to command loyalty from the religious, despite zero theology and a lack of morals, by targeting brain cells indoctrinated in childhood.

Is science and rational thought a conspiracy to eliminate the possibility of Jesus's miracles and resurrection? Empirical evidence and natural laws suggest such events could not occur. Therefore, these methods should be disregarded and applied only when they do not conflict with religious beliefs.

Operation QAnon of limited success. Target subjects have refused masking and vaccination, despite strong scientific evidence. However, the elimination of the non-rational population is proceeding more slowly than projected. A better culling operation is necessary. Operation RFK has been initiated.

The Complete Index to Salt Lake City's Nightmare Theater has a new cover! www.amazon.com/Complete-Ind...

Factions in the Mormon Church are in an uproar. The Church is considering vaccinating for the dead in addition to baptizing for the dead. "It's for a healthy afterlife," spokesman Heber Moroni said. Conservative Nephi Fillmore replied, "They're being illogical. The dead have natural immunity."