i would give up anything in my life right now in exchange for a restraining order against ukulele players

my fucking idiot coworker just told me the reason this cloud was rainbow colored is because of 5g radiation bro have you heard of refraction

hi @kilohearts.com i love you @kilohearts.com

"what are your intentions with my daughter" idk man i have a fuck ton of ant bites

eating bacon is so gender affirming

no amount of bewilderment couldve been appropriate for peter griffin in fortnite

missed eating bagel cause i havent had one in years so i bought and ate one and now i recall the existential horror that comes after

before dark mode there was invert colors

cant stop coughing i hope they dont think im hitting blinkers

pissed at my mom for never becoming a blockbuster member it couldve been a family heirloom

i feel sorry for taking all the cool rare usernames but on the contrary i now have a hivemind of swag

gamer headphone dent

life is like wheres my vape but its just air

on my phone so cliche bro like "no not that emoji!"

thank you jungle slime that has turned into cheese texture

sonefelt im on mishrooms

they freed young thug where does the world go from here

ate a weed, life is the fuck

i wanna see a 24/7 ai livestream but its just doing an everything in existence tier list

will smith more like wont smith

infinity is like yoo theres so much of this shit

bro remember when that guy was like dont ever buy no weed from the gast station bro and like one eye was lower than the other i remember i was like hahaha i gotta send this to people

who else masters their songs with oxford inflator? like this if you love inflation

solving world hunger rn thats what i call eating

anyone i know sends me some shit with even a smidge of ifunny watermark im beating them to death with my fists doesnt matter how close we are

when she suckin yo nuts but you a gangsta (rip DOOM)

the cat fanbase is so niche

why do british people add an e to shit thats so extra

me irl: hey whats up

if someone spits at me during a heated argument im catching it in my mouth and swallowing to assert dominance

theyre ruining the trollface i missed seeing it until they revived it with sigma male brainrot now i feel like theyre just pissing on its grave

companies be like halloween? 40% off, sure whatever who fucking cares

just realized theres always someone peeing on my beats

I’m with Mickey the mother fucking Mouse (if you know you know) … true story, I tried to dap him up when I first met him (he didn’t know what the fuck a dap was) and I almost tore his head off, the lady taking pictures told me “don’t be too rough” … I forgot that he’s not a real mouse ☹️

my sm7b's main occupation is to be a microphone but its side hustle is to be a bag clip

accidentally hit space bar while eating from my bag of chex mix now my ableton playhead is at 2143

brat money, been getting that green since they let a G cook

New music out today #bathgone Happy Halloween open.spotify.com/album/2JWEb3...

someone gotta sample monster mash that shit is hard

nobody has tagged me in music train who wanna run a train on me

dupstep

gangnem style

chromaphobia

this is me if you even care

a honey bee i just saw outside

turn sloppy piano into beautiful soundscape

someone gotta sample amazing grace that shit fire