can depression stop appearing behind me and kicking me into the dirt when i least expect it

i hope one day i can touch the stars

i dont wanna do this anymore im so tired

the mind's entering a terrible spiral of wanting to give up again

i hold things i cant see but every day i hear things that drop my faith in people people are ugly sometimes and im one of them

sometimes its like staring into the night skies - empty and devoid of light. but i know there are beautiful and incomprehensible things out there, so i hold onto that gaze until it hurts to keep it in my chest other times i feel like im drowning in those eyes - too prideful to let go

i am typically reminded every weekend how lonely i get sometimes

i need caFFEINE

committing atrocities

this is how i feel during holidays every year nothing ever changes its the same shit every time

oh yeah just completely ignore my concern that i could be getting sick by changing topics that i should get a haircut and that if i get sick, "just fix it" - god i hate that mentality

i guess my job has taught me how much i value time management when things need to get done and how much i value sticking to a schedule with planned things - like no, im not gonna drop my personal plans that i did weeks before because you wanted to do something else literally last minute

it sure is a time when you're stuck waiting for multiple things to be finished / get approved and people don't really stick to their deadlines - think both things I've waited 2-3 months now whatever its not like they communicate if something stops them from doing so??? at least tell me?????

i sure hate constantly entering depressive spirals when i accept my vulnerabilities

december's such a busy month for me, irl and video game-wise i cant keep up ooooooooooo

suddenly its my fault i didnt answer a message right away or because you cant keep track of timezones aight cool anyways, sips my coffee

lol why are you acting so personal when i dont expect immediate responses

the sunshine is a bleak abyss

shark week making me distort

skin peeling new ways to destroy mankind

zoh shia is my blorbo and im making an oc out of it and no one can stop me

feeling the day passing by like a jetplane hello what is the world up to

I WANT! MORE DND! BUT MY BODY IS A SKELETON IN THE 9-5 LIFE

the rings are tilting there is an imbalance within the skin of mankind

have you heard of the churning vile sounds of crinkling dust settling in the crevices of your brain thats me im eating the dust i am polishing the brain there are no more wrinkles

SPOOKY MONTH BEGINS WITCHCRAFT SPRINGS

its not even 7am and im full of pilk

i learn that i am terrible at monster hunter but i continue to play it out of spite LET ME FIGHT OMEGA I WISH TO DIE TO AOES

quirking up my sanity like bees being shaken in a bar

7:15am and im sleepy outta my mind

spite is a motivator beyond recognition i feed the cells that cultivate rage into each stroke on my tablet pen i am so sane there is nothing wrong about me because i am full of pilk and liminal space distorting the sunlight is full of LIES

The full trailer for the #FFXIV x #MHWilds crossover is here! Get ready to face Guardian Arkveld in a brand-new environment, available with the release of Patch 7.35 on October 7! Special site ➡️ sqex.to/un15T

Cant wait for my angry woman hunter Ophelia to meet her crossover og ffxiv astrologian Ophelia and spiderman point look there are now two of you and they are both menaces

ALSO GOING TO DIE TO MONSTER HUNTER WILDS X FFXIV COLLABS AAAAAAUGH

sometimes i go "wow i woke up at 9am that's nice" and then do work lunch hell until like almost 2pm

pieridae has such a particular accent i use as a dnd npc i just wanna like sit down and have tea with them

"How may I assist you?" A strangely beautiful shop owner greets you on your adventure. Would you look through their wares? [ #art | #artsky | #illust | #OC | #OCart ]

oh yeah