Can anybody translate this into Russian for the benefit of the hierarchy of Reform UK?

youtu.be/5pqsQW1ApCI?... A tune to do your housework to. Have it done in no time!

youtube.com/shorts/asoei... "It'll probably blow your neighbour too." 😂🤣😂🤣

Getting a lot of scam followers today.

youtu.be/g5WmRNnH4hI?... Mate I'm dead... 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

youtu.be/eUTaerHyWOk?... Why do I find this so funny? Its just fart noises ffs. 😂🤣

No way. RIP Mani.

I watched Independence Day last night, I do love that film. Something struck me though this time. The aliens are a metaphor for American foreign policy: turn up everywhere and brutally strip that region of its natural resources, leaving it in a right fucking mess...

This is a damming indictment of modern society. A teacher can earn MUCH more money flashing her baps and flange on OnlyFans. If she remembers to pay the tax, of course.

I found this earlier. It's a letter I got from an American Paratrooper from World War 2. If you've seen Band Of Brothers, you'll know who he is.

youtu.be/ce0m52qBA_g?... I'm 53 years old and adding fart noises to a Bond film has just finished me... 🤣😂🤣😂

Walking Brian earlier was a weird one. 2° and sunny. Brian throwing filthy looks at me as if I'm responsible for his cold feet. It really is like having a kid.

Massive night for the Jocks. Best of luck to them.

Marjorie Taylor Greene will accidentally slip and chop her head off whilst shaving her legs next week.

The Spy Who Loved Me is easily the best Bomd film.

Dear God it's a bit nippy. I've just climbed into bed wearing socks and a jumper. So sexy...

The onesie came out this morning. I genuinely dont care what I look like because I'm warm and my heating still hasn't been switched on.

So Trump is calling Marjorie Taylor Greene a traitor because she wants the Epstein files released? Have I got that right? And MAGA is too dumb to see what's happening here? MTG is as MAGA as it gets yet Trump thinks she's a traitor? I can't believe he gave Clinton a nosh... 😂🤣😂🤣

Of course he's happy. He's just found out his master sucks cock.

Last night, I decided to conduct a little social experiment for my own personal amusement. I drank soft drinks all night with some surprising results. A couple of pals slayed me for it more than I expected, AND drinking Coke Zero all night cost me nore than San Miguel would have done.

Yes. Yes they do. Any idiot can see where all roads lead to. A red hat seems to make one immune to actuality, however.

If the New Zealand rugby team performed the Haka in front of me, I would poo.

David Coverdale had decided to retire, 15 years too late. I saw Whitesnake live at Donnington in 1990 and they were ok i suppose.

America spent much more money investigating Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky than they did investigating 9/11. Weird...

I can't beleieve I'm old enough to feel that a weather warning is both relevant and helpful but here we are... Wrap up folks, cold snap starts tomorrow night. Down to sub-zero temperatureso for a while so get them massive undies out.

Trump going after Clinton is fine by me. If Clinton has done wrong then lock his arse up. Do you think he'll go quietly? Do you think he hasn't got horrific dirt on Trump? This is going to be fascinating And, fuck right off. No ballroom on earth costs 300 million.

My mad fact of the day... The screenplay for the Bond film 'You Only Live Twice' was written by Roald Dahl.

It's friday! That means I can have an early night. Bed with a James Bond boxset by 9pm. I used to go to the Hacienda for fuck's sake.

I watched a documentary last night, about the terrorist attack on Paris 10 years ago. 132 innocent people killed because a group of fucking empty heads decided their religion is better than everyone else's. All religion is obsolete and should not have a place in a modern, civilised society.

I live in Manchester. I have done for most of my life. Today is the first time I've WADED to the shop. And it's cold and windy.

I'm not a reality show fan, I think it's all silly for the most part. I do like I'm a celebrity however and it's a shame they've changed the bush tucker trials. Being voted to do 8 trials in a row is a very British way of being told you're a cunt.

"I want you to realize that that dog that hasn't barked is trump.. [Victim] spent hours at my house with him" This is a direct quote taken from an email exchange between Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. Donald Trump is nothing more than a disgusting paedophile.

Ugh...

Tuesday. Work done for the day, rain pissing it down, Brian flatly refusing to go out because he hates getting wet and the neighbout was that drunk last night, he left his Mrs at the pub.

America... 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Oscar. 👀

What the fuck has he come as?

Let's all lol at Max.

Donald Trump is boycotting G20 because, and I can't stop howling at this, WHITE people are being treated badly in South Africa. He really is the most stupid human to ever exist.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK...

Thats pissed me off. A defensive substitutions, AGAIN? Is Maguire injured? Now we're down to 10 because of this fucking annoying habit of subbing a centre back.

Bollocks...

GET IN!!!

Rob Edwards is a terrible person if he takes the Wolves job. He only joined Middlesbrough in June so to leave them in the shit searching for a new manager in November is disgraceful behaviour.

Why does Amorim constantly change the back 3? At least he's benched Dalot. Incidentally; did you know the direct Portuguese translation of 'Dalot' is, 'useless tit who loses possession all the time'.

I had no idea turkeys wore perfume.

The BBC are always doing this. Stop trying to portray the Israelis as victims. The world is well aware of who the real victims are and they're certainly not Israeli.

Craig Ferguson is the greatest American chat show host of all time and it's not even close.

Trump will mention Sudan as one of his resolved conflicts within 48 hours...

Can't watch The Overlap any more. Neville couldn't even get to the breakfast bar this week before plugging a fucking shoe shop in London.