the gay hockey show is ok but until one of them can do a mosquito impression, i'll be over here waiting for vinny thomas' room number www.tiktok.com/@vinn_ayy/vi...

obongjayar is missing from way too many best-of lists this year

cyber monday discounts for lab tests at quest is real grim shit

just misread his name as "sen. frotterman" and i don't wish that on anyone

No Nuzzi November had been going so well...

have been plagued by the notion that zohran reminds me of someone but couldn't place who, and just realized it's rachel maddow

hey boy, are you a nigerian military operation? because you're fast, vicious, and sweet.

hey zohran SIGN ALONSO

important updates coming tonight to BigCityMayorsIWantToCuddle.xls

<the lowest moment of your life, but it's at a baseball game> EV-RY-BO-DY CLAP YOUR HANDS

an app that alerts you when a bruise-possible event occurs so that 36 hours later you know why the bruise is there

mary hart is the cal ripken of spike lees

people who hate baseball: THIS IS WHY I HATE BASEBALL people who love baseball: THIS IS WHY I LOVE BASEBALL

enjoying this extra sweetly for the 122 days every year when games start at 10am PT

should we do a wellness check on the ghost runner

desperately want those two vladdy plays to not be a footnote in this game

what do they call sunflower seeds in canada

i can't seem to delete it for some reason

how faggily should i say "stop" to the next platner text i get

will they have a little sidecar boss baby high chair for dave roberts in toronto

A-ROD glovesmack gifs *incoming*

15 seconds isn't enough time to decide to challenge a call

it gets tricky when your MLB playoff rooting interests are both "more games" and "most chaos"

ngl, i'm rooting for Ol' Fidgety Max to have a good start

maybe wait for the fourth strikeout to show the kirby K count?

the irony and delight of my fifth text today from janet mills with "Together, we can put a stop to it" in the body

Are baseball games too *fast*? In this essay, I will

have easily watched 900,000 hours of baseball and still don't know what a check swing is or isn't, eat shit gladwell

proposal for 2026: a hard cap on the number of times announcers can say "big dumper" (or "polar bear," etc) for the year. $1,000 for each overage

i follow so many blue jays and mariners fans, this is already chaos (love it, more chaos for me!)

NLDS: Oops, All Solo Shots

devastating to consider how many fantasy points this TOR/NYY game would've given me a week ago

"let's go!" says the player. "LET'S GOOOO," says another, punching his own chest, rings to flesh. "LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO," as the flames consume his hat and the glove he tosses to the ground turns into a fireball.

jazz is mostly about the throws you *don't* field

i'll attempt to rank the #MLB wild card round by completely unscientific, subjective team hotness. up to five hot players for each team, winner advances. there will be oversights!

if your rays' infielder goes POW, that's a lowe if your rays' outfielder says "whoa!," that's a lowe

reminder that you never have to ask your single friends if they're seeing anyone and you *especially never* have to include "yet" at the end

are parades always this camp

came across these two motionless smile demons in bright shirts in the background of a mets/dodgers playoff game last year, and i just hope this post finds them well.

the mere existence of the phrase "leaked photo of heaven" is getting me through this week

here are 50 songs i loved from a perfectly shit year: open.spotify.com/playlist/0Ug...

wait, the tyson/paul fight already happened?? this place is immaculate, no notes.

truly a struggle being michael kiwanuka-coded on a kendrick-coded day, but i can multitask

so far it's people who look good on TV and mike huckabee

women on vinyl for anxiety. first up: sudan archives

and mary hart is OUT after 5 1/3 gutsy innings

of all the things a phlebotomist can say after putting a needle in, TIL one of the worst is "whoops"