It was a bad day for the butler when his false teeth fell out into the soup tureen. He was an undentured servant.

The new comedian was ecstatic to receive compliments from both Cheech and Chong. High praise, indeed.

Carman San Diego told her husband Waldo that she wanted a divorce. She said she needed to find herself.

If you dig down deep enough around the statues on Easter Island, you’ll come upon Keister Island.

The Allied Van Line drivers joined the United Society of Believers in Christ's Second Appearing. Now they’re movers and Shakers.

The Abominable Snowman is real and I found him. He’s the lazy SOB I hired to plow my driveway last year.

After Billy reminded the teacher that she forgot to give the class its weekly test, the rest of the students called him a quizzing.

The nun’s old clothes had faded and she had difficulty restoring their proper color. Her old habits dyed hard.

Down in Santo Domingo, there’s a dance club that’s also famous for its baked goods. The speciality of the house is the Lemme Merengue pie.

A judge once told me I to stop badgering the witness, so I used weasels instead.

As we recently learned on April 15, in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except debt and taxes.

Dumb Dora was so dumb that when she heard the sermon was to be about parables, she asked the minister what wine goes with communion wafers.

The Ghostbusters didn’t have anyone with psychic ability, all they needed was a pair ‘a normal investigators.

Sauron forbad online shopping in his realm. He wanted only brick and Mordor stores.

That mashed chickpea dip was well past its sell-by date, but I ate it post-hummusly.

No wonder the people of Metropolis don’t recognize Superman when he puts on glasses, their eyesight is so bad, they can’t tell a bird from a plane.

Emily Litella got into her fanciest clothes, when she heard she was going to court for jewelry duty.

The philosopher used a cut out pattern to make images of the 24th letter. It was an X’s stencil experience.

Poor Marmaduke thought he was going for a routine check up. Then he learned the Winslows and the vet had made secret plans and the fix was in.

When Geico realized a having mascot that can grow new limbs might be sending the wrong message, it fired the gecko. Now the lizard works in retail.

After the results of Sydney’s first computed tomography scan were inconclusive, he had to have another. It was a tail of two CTs.

Unbeknownst to Bill, when his wine steward was serving the wine, he also picked Bill’s pocket. He was a sommelier pirate.

Although Betty was short so had to leap up to get the dishwashing liquid from the top shelf, she was happy to do it. In fact, she was jumping for Joy.

God is starting a blog about how he created the Earth. After all, he is a continent creator.

The clockmaker’s house was full of arachnids. So he listened to a podcast about how to rid your house of this infestation called “Tick Talk.”

The spinning toy continually fell over because it had too much weight in its upper half. It was in tip top shape.

James made the mistake of running a stop sign in front of a policeman and promptly got a citation for his faux pause.

The Minsky brothers opened a new burlesque theater in south east Pennsylvania, the Gettysburg Undress.

When I ordered at the diner, I didn't speak very clearly and I can say that without fear of counter diction.

Everytime B’Etor, son of Mo’Kai came into the home theater room the TV lost its signal. He was a static Klingon

My waistline was collateral damage in the cake wars.

The class clown was talkative and always disruptive in school. He graduated summa cum loudly.

Young Leo was so obsessed with video games it was like a sickness. So the doctor gave him a Tetris shot.

The lettuce farmer had a monstrous cell bill. It was full of romaine charges.

Do electricians keep up with current events?

The hired assassin wanted to earn enough money get out of the business and go into acting. He needed a good headshot.

The census taker in Whoville had finished with all the houses on Second Avenue, now he had to identify Whos on First.

The fortune teller had a young helper. The helper was a sidekick medium.

Condolences to Mrs. MacDonald. I heard her aged husband bought the farm.

Harry’s teenage daughter spent so much time with her phone pressed to the side of her head, she developed calling-flower ear.

The famous tall tale about the milquetoast who would fight back against bullies; the legend of sissy fist.

The pony couldn’t speak for himself. He was a little horse.

No matter how many times he worked out on the treadmill, John never lost weight. He felt like he was going nowhere fast.

Dumb Dora was so dumb, she made sure she brought a lot of red paint when she went to the blood draw.

Ingmar got sick of living in one of those communities with cookie cutter houses. He had stock home syndrome.

After he was arrested, tried, and convicted of several counts of armed robbery, John learned he would face the con sequences.

Mark’s severance package stank, just a lousy subscription to Apple TV+.

Harold erred when he made an enemy out of his own father. You might say it was a foe pa.

The carjacker was arrested after a high speed chase. But he didn’t ask for his lawyer, he asked for his minister. He revved up.

The Gingerbread Man finally found affordable housing. He moved to the day old bin.