father emilio no i don't think talking about slime asmr is going to get kids to come to the church more.

Need more businesses to be inexplicably pirate themed than just that furniture store because I like dressing up as one.

I just had "Non Target Killed" pop up in my vision because some apparently got cancer from my second hand smoke years ago and they apparently lost

Im not letting you pay extra to ensure they "cum a little" as they die I was already pushing it with showing the swing king that photo

Tore Blystad You litte F**ker You made a shit of piece with your trash Hitman it’s f**King Bad this trash game I will become back my money I hope you will in your next time a cow on a trash farm you sucke

im jame bond

Can you see all of me? Walk into my mystery; Step inside and hold on for dear life!

(Wearing a full green bodysuit and a fake beak) Help!

guys wait i spilled my poison pills right next to the glass please help me pick them up they won't overdose and kill the guy if they aren't all in there fuck fuck fuck one's about to roll into the air vent put your foot down quick phew nice catch

Wonder what this feels like. (slips on a banana peel on purpose, banging my head on the pavement) Oh fuck, ow, that hurts! That's what I've been doing to people?!

The real April fool was completely forgetting to switch back

I heard that when Elon musk was invited to become a client of Haven and he declined saying "I've got this vault tech shit solved like the fallout TV show on my own" and every single piece of equipment and machinery barely needs to be sabotaged to get the silent assassin ranking

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck the fireworks went off early i'm so upset about this i'm going to go stand under the balcony about it for several minutes

Out here playing gubble for ps1 drinking the emetic poison straight just to feel something like the first couple playthroughs of The Showstopper... Now 47 has gone freelancer is killing random other people who are part of crime syndicates, he won't even look at me anymore

Time to take another lap around my fashion show, unerringly to my routi Holy fuck did you hear that coin just now

I hear theres gonna be a more realistic version of hitman 3 released where after the ica files get released nothing meaningfully changes except a couple fast food ceo's are allowed to retire with their golden parachutes but no politicians or real big business suffer

I'm gonna be real I think Dahlia is fucking stupid for even considering making Helmut Kruger an asset

Regret - Little Novikov Things

The red smoke is how you know your drink is GOOD

This model keeps insisting he's six foot seven inches and me and Sebastian are both about to scream loud as fuck at him

Why is this dude in that old vampire magician costume I made ages ago. That shit was meant to be a joke nobody was ever supposed to wear it. Much less make it look kind of good, somehow.

That dude in the flamingo costume is the only one in the entire audience with any daring sense of fashion he's awesome

Dahlia why don't you handle this catwalk if you're so fucking smart. At least I remember to not leave my computer's password dongle lying around

Who's leg does a guy gotta hump to get a bare knuckle boxer around here?

Harikitte ikou!

Guys did I take out all the non likeness targets and that's why I only get people to kill who look exactly like celebrities or what.

Opponent snapped!

HoxHud Initialized

'tis the holiday season! You know what that means! Throw shit at petty thieves knocking them unconscious while you steal the presents first.

I forgot to erase the evidence there goes my silent assassin ranking

Hitman Big Guy Pants Okay

I went to haven island and everyone there wanted to hide away from you when society exploded

Uh oh, I just spilled emetic poison all over my nicest suit staining it; AND PROM'S TOMORROW!!

What the fuck

That's right Olivia Hall, Our Dog, Brian Griffin is Dead

Emetic Poison

no ort-meyer didn't make 20 more clones there isn't an agent six seven why do the teens ask me about this. how do they even know about the cloning.

They trapped me in a pickle jar to preserve me

Injecting my targets with drugs so they go to hell before they die

Guys the thermal drill is jammed

Hit man Hit man Does whatever a hit can

bruce lee has been dead for over 50 years how is he here what the fuck

The Spirit Urn is waiting to be claimed.

Does ACAB include assassins temporarily disguised as police officers to infiltrate a station and kill the corrupt chief and such

Diana it's imperative we watch the credits I need to get the secret code from Scooby-Doo so I can beat Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed on Game Boy Advance

what is this guy's fucking problem anyways

I need your help for my next target! Give me 27 dollars.