Almost 4:30am, do I go back to bed or wait and get a sausage and egg McMuffin?

Might lube myself up in leftover goose fat and have fun at my local playground slide.

The best things in life aren't things.

How I'm walking out of 2025.

*filing my nails as I watch the US destroy itself*

Gosh.

I'm gonna be more slutty in 2026.

If you want to get your dick out, in a friendly way for me to measure it I won't complain.

Maybe we should tax all wealth over £10m at 100%, no one needs more than that.

Itty Bitty Titty hugs to all my moots. I might go to bed early or finish the bottle of vodka I just found in the cupboard. It could go either way at this point.

If you need me for the next week I'll be on the sofa in my flamingo onesie with the velcro butt flap.

Watching 2001: A Space Odyssey for the first time, don't hate me but man is it a slog.

Only 363 days until Christmas. *hides*

Happy Boxing Day to Jake Paul and Andrew Tate.

OMG is it past midnight? www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrOE...

OMG my 12 year old niece just came into my room and asked me if I could go outside with her to see the stars through her telescope she got for Christmas *don't tell mum I'm up so late*. I used the Star map and we both were amazed at looking at Jupiter in the sky. Children are so magical.

My trans girlfriend is staying with us as her family shunned her. We will be using the same bathroom and in the last 20 years she has never abused anyone, expect the time a man accused her of being trans and she fucking destroyed him and we all protected her.

Going to put on my chiffon dress and wander into the woods to find my inner fairie.

Watching The Mighty Nein on Prime and I have just seen an advert for Prime Casino. Does Dave Bezos not have enough money already?

Merry Christmas one and all, from the Vaders 🎄

My biggest claim to fame is being able to rap to Jump Around by House of Pain then seamlessly transition to One Week by Barenaked Ladies.

Recap of what I've eaten today; Breakfast - Porridge with honey and bluberries. Lunch - Full Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. 2nd lunch - Hot roast pork sandwich with apple sauce, stuffing and crackling. 3rd lunch - Mini pork pie with piccalilli and gherkins.

Me at 3am.

My blood cheese level has spiked today.

When I have kids I'm going to feed them reindeer meat for Christmas dinner then tell them we just ate Rudolf. Just kidding I'm not a monster, I'd probably tell them it was one of the lesser known ones like Comet or Dancer.

What other day of the year could you wear pyjamas all day, go to the shop in pyjamas, go get petrol in pyjamas and walk the dog in pyjamas? That's why I love Christmas Day.

There are no green mammals so I guess The Grinch is a lizard?

I promise it'll not be worth $190bn if they start using AI slop to replace human creators.

I think I win the best gift competition.

My boyfriend got me some sexy lingerie for Christmas and I said "Oooooo thank you, my sugar daddy will love this." Oh how he laughed.

Happy Christmas everyone, early start at 4am today to get the turkey and roast done so I'll probably be having a nap or two later. 🤭

I was today years old when I learned that John Williams wrote the Home Alone music.

Have the FBI found Antifa HQ yet?

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

Watching E.T. for the millionth time. *not gonna cry. *not gonna cry. *not gonna cry. *not gonna cry. *not gonna cry. *cries.

Why you lie to me Windows?

Hook is such a great film.

Supermarket delivery man just turned up wearing a full Santa outfit and he called me a ho three times the cheeky git! He hardly knows me.

That CECOT video being shared far and wide is a delicious example of the Streisand effect. Well done.

I have been very productive with my napping today.

Scone with clotted cream and jam. I'm not from Cornwall or Devon so didn't know which was the right way so I did both. Must admit clotted cream first was a lot easier to spread than jam first, and they pretty much tasted the same. Sorry 😬

No one seems to care but I love them.

We usually give 'normal' presents at Christmas and then a funny/jokey one so I got these for my mum. I'm sure* she won't beat me. *hoping

Best one yet!

Forgot to post my new nails yesterday.

I often wonder, while looking up at the stars, we're so tiny. How we're so insignificant in the Universe, we should just love eachother for what we are, who we are and just stop fighting eachother. Billions of stars in our galaxy, billions of galaxies in the Universe.

*ties hair back* OK last work Friday of the year, what you got?

Can we all please apprecaite this absolute masterpiece. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eyjj...

Hear me out, grapes with a Marmite dipping sauce.

I would watch the heck out of this.