imagine how i feel!!! i guess i’ll never podcast again. 😔

my doctor is sending me for bloodwork to rule out celiac disease and just happened to sneak in a drug test on the requisition without mentioning it? (presumably to make sure my adhd meds are being taken/not abused???) either way… 🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒

i really posted this and then effed off of social media for almost a month… oops. 🫠

i want to die lol (gotta toss the lol at the end so people know/think you’re joking)

my father left me a voicemail to tell me he was going to game 6 of the world series tonight but also said twice “not to rub it in”

bullpen bassy 🤩🤩🤩 #wantitall

lmao i am so fucked for work in the morning. this gaaaaaame. 🫠

i’m sorry, but our former prime minister dating katy perry is hilarious and i will never get over it.

may we find a way to avoid facing yamamoto again 🫠

my jonas brothers hotness ranking for the literal 0 people who asked: 1. kevin 2. joe 3. nick

i play a few silly little games on my ipad and i swear all my targeted ads are like “chair yoga for senior women” lol 🫠🤔

living my dream (watching the leafs and jays back-to-back on a saturday night in october)

three more. #wantitall

haven’t been to my office in two weeks, so imagine my confusion when i am about to unlock my door this morning and i can hear the sound of rustling and a man grunting coming from inside (???) when i tell you my soul left my body for a moment…

protect jawan at all costs 🥺 #survivor

oh wait am *i* sage? #survivor

i really enjoy sage #survivor #thisisaruperttweet

having a uterus is absolutely whack. 0 stars.

i forgot how stressful watching my friends on tv is lmao #thetraitorscanada #traitorsca #traitorscanada #wtfisthehashtag

jays lost, leafs lost, bills lost. back to work, missing my friends. the most tuesday of tuesdays. 😔

bestie got engaged and our partners became besties too. so happy for my girl. 🥰

this is my entire energy currently. ✌️

hit an unexpected rough patch with my mental health and currently navigating particularly bad anxiety and burnout symptoms. going to do my best to take care of myself over the next week so i can show up better soon.

“we got screwed by twists so we introduced another bad twist that robbed the best player” is such an interesting framing here #bb27

alright let’s wrap this up. #bb27

i hope vinny buys both kelsey and morgan something really nice with his 75k. #bb27

ashley’s answers are good i just wish they didn’t sound so… “i am reciting a speech” 😖 she’s cooking vince tho. #bb27

you know, after rachel stumped for vince’s game at jury roundtable i actually thought she may vote for him over ashley but that scream changed my mind lol she’s team ash #bb27

will in a suit. keanu in a suit. #bb27

i love morgan. she’s so classy and humble through a gutting loss #bb27

i’m happy for ashley but i’m soooo sad for morgan. 😔 #bb27

vince crashout aside… they both misread the instructions. ashley just realized there must be something wrong and thought to look again. my adhd ass could easily miss a key word and do this too. #bb27

this ill-fitting skeezy car salesman comp suit would have been a better choice for a finale outfit for vince. #bb27

i have a very specific day planner i buy every single year and it’s become impossible to find in canada now. i’m finding it hard to justify the shipping/import fees for what is basically just pretty paper and stickers 😭😩

my brain, every time they do this challenge on #survivor, without fail:

“i seen a shoe” oh this man is canadian canadian #survivor

this cast is definitely the highest volume of odd balls, right? the fb casuals are going to hate this season so much i can’t stop laughing about it #survivor

update: piss girl is also poop girl. #survivor

savannah is so gorgeous. STUNNING. they’re just gonna write this woman a cheque and say “whatever you say, beautiful” #survivor

did not anticipate my beloved toronto maple leafs getting mentioned on #survivor

i will never understand wearing jeans on #survivor.

oh my god the “stop casting normal people” crowd are going to hate all these lil freaks (i say freaks with love btw) #survivor

when does the chenbot comic kind of look like bowie jane? #bb27

the juxtaposition of kelley and lauren’s interviews with julie is truly stunning. #bb27

morgan: “heart emoji” 😂 that’s my millennial ass queen, future #bb27 winner

sorry but gamer girl is locked and loaded here #bb27

i don’t think i trust the “bb government” or their footage #bb27

situation: vince wins veto, saves lauren. vorgan drama continues for days to come. #bb27

ashley or morgan for hoh please and thank yew #bb27

for those hoping for morgan or vince to be evicted next… i respect your opinion, but we are not the same. #bb27