Most farm-goers tend to get straight to work upon entering the stables—as you can imagine, the scent is far more alluring than the sounds alone & are a universal sign of ‘attention-seeking’ behavior 🥴🐴🥚🥚💦 Snort~

Some impromptu horse meat—courtesy of not having my tripod handy 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

This should literally be IMPOSSIBLE with hooves but—here’s where stablehands come into play 😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~

Whoever invented plastic breeding sleeves—for horses—I don’t think there’s enough energy in my lifetime to thank them properly 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

Dithering or not—don’t they look like fun to flop ‘round in your own palm? 😮‍💨🐴🥚🥚💦 Neigh~

Despite having deceivingly, disruptive hooves—at least I stay on brand 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

*twitch* 💦 *pucker* 🍩 *snort* 😮‍💨

For any fans of the stable & aspiring stablehands: Neigh 🐴 Snort 💦 Whinny 🍩 Bray 🥕 Huff 🐎

It’s n-not my fault you left this in my st-stable—what’d you expect me to do, not u-use it for hours 🤤🐴💦 Whinny~

Horses weren’t meant for clothing—this is just being polite 😋🐴🍩💦 Neigh~

When you’ve spent all day in the field—there’s nothing like an undisturbed nap to help alleviate the worries of the waking day 😮‍💨🐴 Whinny~

Zootopia 2 inspired me to make some content this week 😮‍💨🐴💦 Neigh~

If the horse doesn’t catch ya’ staring—it’s not considered rude to give him a big ol’ casual sniff—careful though . . . ya’ wouldn’t want to accidentally make him aware of your presence 😤🐴💦 Snort~

Winter weight & the last of the work bathroom selfie(s); hafta’ find some new things to post—for posterity 😮‍💨🐴💦

One more day & then I can rest—I’m in the homestretch & they’re doing everything they possibly can to disrupt my flow at work . . . I’m literally just a day away from this toxic cesspool of mistrust & abuse—at the time of this post, I have upwards of 140 clients to transfer 😣🐴💦 Whinny~

“H-Help out a steed in need?” 🥴🐴💦 Whinny~ This piece was curated by the hung & talented bsky.naudiz.dog

Welcome to your first introduction into the world of Equine Therapy . . . Now take a hold of these & tell me what’s been on your mind, champ— 😮‍💨🐴🥚🥚💦 Neigh~

I̮͎͍̭̰̱̹̗̯̭̬̺̖͕̻̼ͤͣͬ̎͌̆̈́ͮ͌͋͆̈́́͊ͥ̑̓̔́̍ͤ͌̾͑̕̚͜͢͜t̥_̧̺̜̮͙̥͙͍͈̯̟̮̜̀̓̾̇̀ͪ́ͣͨͪ̚͜͡ͅ’͓̗̖̤̩͉͇͊̿̆̾ͤͮ̚͟͡͝s̴̠̗̬̜͇͖̒̒ͪ͗͒̄͐͆ ẗ̷͍͚̦̤̝͙̞̞̮̩̟̗̖̺̯̤̯̥̓͐̂̈́ͤ̊̽̈͂ͭ͊̄͋̅̑ͬ͂͜͝ͅh̵̴̸̴̸̴̨̛̥̳͍͎̖̫͈ͤ̉͌̎̔ͩ̾̂́ͮ̄͗̈́ͮͯ͜e̢̛͙̟̭̬͈̻͇̯̅̌ͦͥͧ̀ͫ̀̏͐̑͌̅̇ͯͩͬ̿̔̉̂ͬ̕͢͞ͅͅ s̨͈̝̞̭̓́͂ͤ̏ͤ̚_̵̛͆i̸̼̣̤̙̝͉̠͊̓́̏̌̂̒ͣ̄͢͞͞͞g̷̗̝͕͔̣̿͑̀ͫͨn̷̷̵̶̗͍͊̃̇̌̈́ͫ̔̏̕͟ o̢̝̫̝̤̭̰̞̣̒̃̄͐̀́̐̍̐̒̀͜͜͢͞͝͡f̝̖͊̎͛́̾ͮ t̵̝̗̤̘̜̠̦̳ͫ́ͨ̆͛̽_̢̹̼ͦ͑ͭ͛̈́ḩ̵̷̢̧̛̛̤͓͖̪̝͍̲͎̦͉̣͉̥̞̫͇̐̌ͩ̅̊ͣͣ̔̅ͣ͑ͤ̓̅̽͡͠_̨̡̹̐e̬ d̵̵̛̯̯͍̗̯̞̥ͧͤ̂͗̀̃ͥ̊ͦ̿͞͝e͊v̯̅͗_̶̸̠̥̜̹̻̺͊ͭ̓ͮ̃͑͂͑̀̔͢͜ī̢̹̩͕ͮ̈́͢l̬ &̶̷̨̢̛̠͕̺̭̠̹͕͊͗̌̉̋ͪ͗ͧ̓̂͂̍̆ͅ y̷̢̨̬̞͕̣͔̱͔̼ͩ̓ͤ͋͂̓̐̄ͭ͂ͭ̇̄̆̿̐͢͟ͅͅȏ̶̧̢̩͈̰̳̳͎͖̭̈̅͌̅̾͊̀̇̍̒͘͜u̵̢̩̞̹̳͎̹̅̊͜͝ m̵̴̢̛͇̳̬͈̭̼̰̙͖͔͖͆͛̓ͧ͒̇̈͐ͧͬͯ̄ͥ̽ͨ̊͜͜͝u͍̼̼̳͋̎ͣ̈͆ͩ͂ͤş̸̸̷̙̱̭̥̜̺̝̣̳͉̹͖̖̭͎̭͎͎ͪ̂ͯ̎̈́̍ͮ͋͊̇̋̾̓̐̏ͥ͘̕̚͟t̴̷̨̨̙͕̮̰̳͈͍̟̫͙̃̓ͤ̌͌̅̋̾ͤ̑̀͆̓ͩͨ͊̀̚͘͢ͅ w̷̷̨͔̫̖̝̗̟̬̃͗ͫ̑̍͛̇͟_̢̼́ͧo͉̰̥̹͇̒̚ŗ̸̷̶̢͖͇̜͕͙͚͍̬̬̳̩͍̮͇̭̈́̀̊̈́ͦ͆̈̅͗ͭ̏̀̌̃̿̈́̄̃͂̎͆͟͝͞s̥̻̭̱̄ͦ͐̅ͨ̃́̄h̴̨̼̬̰̟͚̗͕͈͉̙̩͙̔̋̊ͭͮ͐̊̀̓̒ͪͯ̀ͬ͐͘͟͡͞į̵̦̎̃ͤ͗̂͑p̶̴͓̩̦̭̮̳̩̽ͦ̊̎ͫ̆͠ Ḥ̻̖̜͕̯ͥ̾͑̄̍̃̉ͬ͗̍̈́͞͞͝O̢̝͓͍̹̓́ͦ͋̒͟ͅŔ̨͎̼͕̬͔͔͍̩̈́ͤͫͪ̌̉̉͆ͦͧ͆͘͢͢͡S̴̸͉̙̗͈̠͍͉̘ͩ̔̂̓͊͋͜ͅȆ̸̷̷̗̤̗̪̟̩̝̖̜̪̞́͒͂͒́͊̀̓͛̀ͧ͊̽͐̂̀͘̚S

Of course I’m certified—if you’re referring to Equine Therapy, that is 👀🐴💦 Whinny~

This isn’t what I meant when I asked to be ‘locked-up all night in the stable’ . . . 🔒😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~

Horses + Plastic = Makeshift Breeding Mount It’s the perfect trap to keep’em busy for hours~ 😵‍💫🐴💦 Whinny~

The requests I get down at the stable . . . here’s to hoping there are apples involved 😤🐴💦 Snort~

How’s a horse suppose to get any work done ‘round the stable with all these musky ‘dick’stractions’ keepin’ me busy? 😮‍💨🐴💦 Snort~

What is it—I’m looking for again? I don’t think it’s here—are you sure? I suppose I’ll keep at it—what’re YOU doing over there? 👀🐴🍩💦 Whinny~

What’s a horse hafta’ to do to get some sniffs-n’-cuddles ‘round here? Snort~ ❤️🐴💦

“Before I leapt, I should have seen the view from halfway down.” -Bojack Horseman ❤️🐴

“You didn’t know me & you fell in love with me, & now you know me.” -Bojack Horseman ❤️🐴

“We judge others on their actions. We judge ourselves on our intentions.” -Bojack Horseman ❤️🐴

Interested in more alternative posts of my musky horsie sheath? 👀💦 You can always join my Telegram Channel—It’s not mandatory, nor does it cost anything, but there’s always extras that I don’t post on Bluesky! 😋🐴 Neigh~ t.me/+8Dlg3yrdq0w...

Well—I wasn’t trying to be too loud—I hope the scent isn’t TOO overwhelming 😵‍💫🐴🥚🥚💦 Snort~

It’s not as if I have hooves & I need YOU to help 😮‍💨🐴💦 Whinny~

It’s not like—anyone’s around 👀🐴😮‍💨💦 Snort~

When you’re gamin’ with a horse—this is who you’re losin’ too 😋🐴💦 Neigh~

"It doesn't get better and it doesn't get easier. I can't keep lying to myself, saying that I'm going to change . . . I have nothing to show for the life that I've lived, & I have nobody in my life who’s better off for having known me." -Bojack Horseman

I think—I’m gonna be Bojack Horseman for Halloween 😋❤️🐴 Neigh~

This lil’ guys name is ‘Omino’—because he’s my pal 🥹❤️🐴 Neigh~

The best part of the evening is when I get to finally relax, play a game, eat some ‘sugar cubes’, wear my weights, & feel like a heavy-hanging stud 😮‍💨🐴🥚🥚💦 Whinny~

Zebra-meat can be tantalizing—please don’t EAT me 🥴🦓💦 Snort~

I’m a zebra today—& I ain’t lion ‘bout that 😮‍💨🦓💦

It’s the little things in life that make me bray 🥴🦓💦

Stop. Don’t think. Just stare. Watch them wobble. Too-n’-fro. That’s it. Good boy. No more thoughts. Just breathe. There you go. 😵‍💫🐴🥚🥚💦 Neigh~

When life doesn’t give you lemons, squeeze these instead—you’ll enjoy the treat, trust me 😮‍💨🐴🥚🥚💦 Whinny~

The gravity of the situation is getting kinda’—tense 😮‍💨💦 Thought a pair of well placed horse testicles might ease the atmosphere 🐴🥚🥚💦 Snort~

I’m so tired of being d*cked around at work—I can’t quit cause I need the income but I can’t find a job that’s equivalent to what I’m doing now & I’m still supposed to be getting a lay-off notice this week . . . I just want to work & not be constantly worried about what’s happening next . . .

Left work early today. Everyone but 3 people got offer letters for much better pay despite a caveat of less sick/PTO days. I was 1 of 3 who was not hired. Termination letters get sent out on Sept. 2nd or so. Sad horse today.

Don’t worry y’all—I’m hangin’ in there 😵‍💫🐴🥚🥚💦 Whinny~

Haven’t posted any stable content in quite some time—depression & lay-offs have been rough 😔 This horse is tryin’ his best to remain optimistic & self-sufficient but it has been a hearty struggle . . . Snort~ 😮‍💨🐴💦

I missed national undies day—guess I know what I should take pics of THIS weekend~ 👀🐴💦 Whinny~

Rewatching ‘Bojack Horseman’ w/ my lil’ Bunny & all it’s doing is reminding me how much I wanna kiss Bojack’s stupid, inconsiderate, & narcissistic muzzle; he’s self-sabotage incarnate—and I still want to make him feel better anyway I can 😤😮‍💨😩 Neigh~

Luckily before I got sick, I took some cute work undie selfies the day before . . . I started DYING 🥺🐴💦 Whinny~