*according to a Facebook Boomer Meme

@afae8c.myatproto.social [System UNALIVE: ge56g] 😭

Abed's efforts at raising funds to buy a tent for his family were so successful that he was able to afford to hire a botnet to do more fundraising so he could buy that tent! Way to go, humans!

I'm sure there is a rational explanation for this. Abed probably just needs to buy a lot of tents.

Abed is totally not Abot. See what I did there? It was very funny. These Nigerian princes are getting lazy.

Father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate🦦

Depends. Are you feeding a miniature sea otter? I can easily put away like 23lbs of crab in a day, and that's on a day where I'm not particularly hungry. It takes a lot of calories to look as good as I do.

He is an angry elf.

Felony

Okay this will be the only insulting thing I will post about Scott Adams's passing. Yes, he was a complete douchebag, butthole, MAGA, and self-serving turd, but cancer is worse, and I won't celebrate cancer even if it ends a bad human.

How did I not notice this? Thoughts and prayers or whatever.

Also, probably not as smart as his fans think he is.

It seems a bit forward, if you ask me. Like, I don't grope anyone but Mrs. Sea Otter, but even if I did, asking for a groping before we've gotten to know each other and our boundaries is making me uncomfortable. Drew a human hand because the thought of a sea otter paw on human junk is really gross.

Yay! The Nigerian Princes are finding me! Can somehuman help me with an ACH by giving me their bank info/login/money? I wonder if they have been vetted by the Giant Forehead Lady.

All of you primates kinda look alike, but Greg Bovino makes this very distinctive facial expression sometimes* *Like, whenever he sees someone who looks/sounds vaguely foreign that he hasn't beaten/arrested yet** **He also makes that face when he sees a cow from behind, which is weird.

Kinda weird for Kristi Noem to post this, but okay.

They probably paid a lot of money for those themed under skin ink thingies.

Hey @rosewood1923fl.bsky.social I guess the 4 inch Impala got in trouble. That's a shame. I just noticed!

Damn right. Part of a complete Sea Otter Breakfast.

I have no doubt about this, Ollie.

Those are probably some really expensive boobs she has.

He kinda looks like Baron Harkonnen, but stupid and easily manipulated. Like... Baron Fartkonnen.

The human on the left is saying "Human person Kristi Noem madam Secretary ma'am, I think you dropped one of your breasts."

So I was very curious about the image that OtterBox posted (see first image) as it cut off some things that looked a bit weird. However, using the immense processing power of Generative Sea Otter Intelligence, we can now see what those objects are, in the second image.

More patterns? Yes, please!

Well, it is months late, but I did it anyways. No AI was used in the making of this picture of Generalfeldmarschall Gregor Rinder. Only pure SOI.

How did I miss this photopicture thingy of Cowvino or Bovino or something? This had such great promise.

I'm just asking questions. What if, and I'm just asking, what if that human killed Charlie Kirk because he believed that Charlie Kirk was going to kill other humans with a weaponized butt plug?

I'm sure our brave Secretary of Homeland Security will take responsibility any day now. I think that's what she is. Could be the Secretary of Scrotal Webbing On The Neck for all I know.

Okay but keep in mind that the average mental and emotional age of a Twitter Edgelord is like -13, even though, biologically, they are between ages 18 and 29. I'm not even sure how that's even possible, but it's true. When you criticize them, this is a picture of who you are criticizing:

Hey @rosewood1923fl.bsky.social I noticed something interesting. Not particularly surprising, but definitely interesting. Apparently Bluesky seems to consider Four Inch Impala to be a porny furry account.

I will not normally quote myself, but sometimes my own genius and whimsical nature impress even me. In this case I had no idea this reply thread would conclude with a picture of JD Vance with a farty butthole for a head, but sure enough that's EXACTLY where it went. Such is the way of genius.

I was bored, and that's usually a dangerous thing, but tonight I was feeling benevolent so I made this instead.

To be fair to the "crazy person", they were only trying to fulfill his request.

I wonder if any countries are going to step up and institute economic sanctions against the US. They were pretty okay with doing that when Russia did similarly.

See? Even an actual piece of poop can change its opinion.

Oh that is very unfortunate that he got very upset that I was able to figure out how to type his secret pretend club's name into a search engine to see he borrowed it from a musical about a 12 year old human girl.

Okay so while looking for a picture of a human foreskin with which to make a funny picture, I discovered that humans sometimes buy... A fake foreskin because... Foreskin? So this company called Oxballs makes other things, and I have to ask: what is a ball stretcher and WHY?

Sometimes humans inexplicably block me, but it works in my favor because piss fetish.

You were nonspecific as to how this should be done, so I used my discretion.

I seem to wander from subject to subject very frequently. I swore I was going to be posting Erika Kirk memes for a week.

What's the largest case you make? I tried putting a river otter in a MacBook Air OtterBox, but the otter wasn't happy about it so I had to hit him with a rock and then I couldn't get him to fit in it because he wasn't flat enough, so I got a bigger rock, and then it got messy.

No idea why Joe Rogan's podcast is so popular. Maybe amongst humans, looking like a thumb makes one seem more trustworthy. Any humans care to chime in on this? Thumb = Trust?

Just imagine if he had lived in the 14th century. Nevermind, you humans don't need to imagine it because I did it for you:

I don't know what you humans think, but I'm thinking that Baby New Year isn't looking very fresh or new this year.

The math doesn't quite add up, or does it? USA population - 345m Number of US Citizens - 335m Number of non-citizen residents - ~10m Maybe they're using different metric... US population by ethnicity - Hispanic ~63m Asian ~20m Black ~41m Other ~16m White ~202m 63m+20m+16m = ~99m Ah hah!

I'd say "Well, thank Poseidon that 2025 will be over with soon. 2026 couldn't possibly be worse," but 2026 would be all like "Pffft, hold my beer," roll up its sleeves, and get to work being even dumber and worse than 2025 could have dreamed of being.

Well, "Paramilitary" is the more appropriate word.

I think this is technically not vote buying because they have to offer something of value. Way to get around those pesky voting laws, Marge! Major points for creativity.

I really think MTG's new campaign for governor of Georgia has legs. Or something. Not sure what she stands with, to be honest. Tendrils? Fins? Anyhow, she just released a new campaign ad, and it's pretty exciting.