Well I got big titties and an attitude so you can trust me

Me for the 175th time in my life: Omg I'm so damn tired. I want Popeyes so damn bad. Nah I want Chinese. Screw it I'll get both. Why am I so damn hungry?? Why tf are people talking to me!?!? I'm not leaving my room. Wtf is wrong with me lately?? What's my issue??? Goes to bathroom: "Oh" makes sense

The annoying thing about being amazing in bed is that everyone you sleep with takes that level of pleasure personally and thinks you're trying to do something to them. I'm just a passionate lover baby. Don't read too much into it. Just cum for me.

Intentional grounding my ASS. FUCK THE NFL

Hey. Good morning. I just wanted make sure that everyone knows that you can't have a single mother without an absent father. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

Whole block in Friday was weak asf. I think if I ever watched grown men tuck their jewelry cuz another dude was coming I'd dry up to the point of needing IV fluids directly to my genitals.

🤨🤨

Starbucks has this seasonal hot apple cider with caramel that transports me thru the multiversewith each sip

Found her. Had her 15 yrs. And now she's gone💔💔. Feel bad for whoever tries to love me next

I hope all of you that are off today wake up and see the juice from the greens been leaking all night and now you gotta clean the fridge. I hope you drop your plate with the last bit of mac n cheese on it. Hope you forget to hit confirm on your black Friday order and it don't go thru.

I love an oiled up scarf

Post something random or you’ll have an awful December

Oh. The Lions want to lose. Got it. Ok

Took me 5 minutes to read this cuz I passed out after horse teeth 🤣🤣🤣

Me in my living room soon as Em hit the stage.

The love of my life was also my very best friend and the coolest chick I ever met. Yeah the sex was great and all BUT CHILLIN WIT THAT BITCH!?!?!? Most fun I ever had. Sitting on the couch l laughing about every damn thing, playing spades for hours, gossiping like church mothers 👌🏾👌🏾

Don't invite me over for Thanksgiving if your family makes their own cranberry sauce. Oceanspray don't need no help. Keep your bumpy cranjello off my plate.

Nobody: The 🐐:

I date pretty ass fems with glasses and big titties. I been bullied my whole adult life.

This year I want to learn to make good collard greens. I've got every other side down except that one.

So the big blue losers didn't convert on 3rd and 1 and punted it away on 4th and 1 and now the Lions have scored a TD. Pure trash.

Just saw a guy in the gym benching with 1 rubber 45 on his left and 1 iron 45 on his right ON THE SAME BAR. I almost called the cops

I normally work out after I get off but this shift just wore me out. Somebody tell me to take my ass to the gym.

Fucked that bitch husband so good he bought me a fur. They eventually divorced then I told her in front of everyone at a dinner. 🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾

Yep. Knew the day before I was gonna fuck both but had to decide which I'd spend the night with. Picked the one who cooked better.

Oh fo sho

I really didn't like her. But she always talked mad shit about me so I figured I'd turn her ass out and make her look stupid.

Maaaaaaaan. Sex on X used to be

I actually haven't. A few close calls but never fully caught

Most I've done is tied hands and blindfold.

Shiiiiiit. Sophomore year in college. Ran into a professor and he sure threw my back out

1st time caught me off guard cuz it was before ppl talked about it. But that nasty mf was innit

Strap game elite. Hold that rose on there too while I'm slow strokin into your soul

Til one of us passes out

Way too many to choose from but

Watching my partner enjoy themselves

Talk my shit

Missionary. Man or woman.

Sure am

With men: Feeling him slowly lose himself in me With women: Driving her every sense wild with a pleasure she's never dreamed of

Always hungry but stealthy and patient. And when I catch my prey every morsel is devoured.

Men: Arms and chest Women: Titties

Saved their asses and FUCKED my parlay 🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾

Naaaaaah. That's a bullshit call. I wanted the Lions to lose but I want to watch good football more. My favorite sport is officially dead.

Y'all would block me if you knew how much this man arouses me

Watching The Running Man. This movie would have been good with a real actor 🙄🙄🙄. And I'm mad asf they gave him such a fine ass black wife 😒😒😒

Jennifer Lopez

Calling people who hold you accountable without an lol at the end of the text toxic<<<<<<<<

Making sequels to trash ass movies should be an indictable offense.

What happens in Family Dollar before I get to the movie theater is really none of Regal's business