I'm grateful we don't celebrate the first wave of independence when all the continents broke away from Pangea. That wasn't just a single day like July 4th. I'm all for festivity but 200 million years of fireworks each day would break me.

Science Fiction makes me laugh. Not necessarily the content itself. But just the concept of pairing up all the subjects I had to study in school with Fiction. Wood Shop Fiction is the funniest thing to me right now.

I was pretty disappointed the first time I turned on Hgtv and found it wasn't a channel that just shows a bunch of people playing with mercury.

There is a lot of misinformation around so I'd like to clarify something. Seahawks are Ospreys. They feast on fish with some exceptions like lizards and snakes. They are in no way the same as Red-Tailed Hawks which eat rabbits. So there is no risk of the Seahawk mascot trying to eat Bad Bunny.

When 6, 7, and 9 got 10 times older they became the most polite numbers. I want to recognize them for that. six: ty seven: ty nine: ty yw guys!

"Who are you going as?" "Superman. Who are you going as?" "Superman." "Do you know who Paul is going as?" "Superman." - The night before Comicon in 1938.

It's good that snakes can't drive. Because there could be a time a snake is driving alone when it sheds and then is tempted to use the second skin to fraudulently use the carpool lane. Quite honestly that would not help the reputation of snakes at all.

One thing we will never get to know about Darth Vader is whether or not he would use Force Heimlich to save people instead of Force Choke after making the transition from evil to good.

When there is a widespread recall on vegetables it always makes me feel better about my poor dietary choices and unhealthy eating decisions.

I've never seen a more politically confusing character than Papa Smurf. He's blue but he wears a red hat.

Did you pass? #valentinesday

We never know when death may come but now I feel prepared.

Good morning, Bluesky! Enjoy this terrible meme fit for a king!

I like to passive aggressively download other browsers with my current browser to see if it interprets this activity as a threat of replacement and starts performing better.

Road Advisory: If you see this on the road today, just keep on driving.

Based on a true story.

I'm assuming that if you’ve been here since Day 1 you remember when the app icon was a larva.

So hear me out. If we all got the Avian Flu vaccine then we could buy really cheap diseased eggs and eat those.