This morning on Out Of Context Theater; "...I dropped to my knees, my gun clattering across the floor and disappearing into the black hole underneath the fridge. With only the shit that had fallen around my desk as an option,

"Your task is to be upright, not to be held upright." - Marcus Aurelius #stoic #stoicism

So the sandbar says to the mariner, it says, "I'm not shore."

¡🐓🤖!

This morning on Out Of Context Theater: "You're really going to just watch me struggle?" "Yes, actively. With popcorn."

"Death and life, success and failure, pain and pleasure, wealth and poverty, all these happen to good and bad alike, and they are neither noble nor shameful and hence neither good nor bad." - Marcus Aurelius #stoic #stoicism

So the South American laminoid says to his spouse, he says, "Alpaca lunch for you, my spouse."

Accounting for inflation the $1.50 (US) admission to the tree museum in 1970 would now be $11.50 (US).

"Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens." - Epictetus #stoic #stoicism

So the lion and the witch says to the kid, they says, "It's Narnia business, kid."

"True happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient.. " - Seneca #stoic #stoicism

So the bartender says to the departing *Anacardium occidentale* seed, she says, "Cashew, later!"

"I have to die. If it is now then I die now; if later then I will take my lunch since the hour for lunch has arrived and dying I will tend to later." - Epictetus #stoic #stoicism

So the bandleader says to the work release musician, she says, "You're always behind a few bars and you can't find the key."

GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW! THE UPDATES ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE LAN!

"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart." - Marcus Aurelius #stoic #stoicsm

So Frosty says to the marriage counselor, he says, "We're staying together for the sake of the chill-dren."

The road to hell wasn't paved in a day, y'know.

"Who then is invincible? The one who cannot be upset by anything outside their reasoned choice." - Epictetus #stoic #stoicism

So the computer says to the lady, it says, "I'd tip my hat to you but the cap locks are on."

Who's there?

"Death smiles at us all, all we can do is smile back." - Marcus Aurelius #stoic #stoicism

So the cheap camper says to the ranger, he says, "Now is the winter of our discount tent."

Dear the English speaking world, E*s*cape. E*s*presso. Warm regards, Evil Ray

“A podium and a prison are each a place, one high and the other low, but in either place your freedom of choice can be maintained if you so wish.” - Epictetus #stoic #stoicism

So Sue says to Victor, she says, "Okay, here's the Thing..."

“Keep this thought at the ready at daybreak, and through the day and night—there is only one path to happiness, and that is in giving up all outside of your sphere of choice, regarding nothing else as your possession, surrendering all else to Fate and Fortune.” - Epictetus

So Kutuzov says to Napoleon, he says, "There's no point Russian into things."

Feeling almost human today. Soon the process will be perfected and the invasion will begin.

Dear the English speaking world, These ones. Those ones. NO! These. Those. YES! Warm regards, Evil Ray

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response." - Viktor Frankl #stoic #stoicism

So the snowman says to the ninja, he says, "I've got ice in the back of my head."

IT'S A COOKBOOK!

Tonight on Out Of Context Theater: "Your dad is a character." "He's a character who's been divorced twice and currently can't go within 500 feet of his second ex-wife's property, so maybe not the role model I should be following."

Unknown to Speed, Racer X, the masked racer, is actually his brother, Rex Racer, who left home years before.

"No person has the power to have everything they want, but it is in their power not to want what they don’t have, and to cheerfully put to good use what they do have." - Seneca #stoic #stoicism

So the rancher says to the mathematician, he says, "I let 196 beeves out to pasture but when I rounded them up I had 200."

(Not to scale)

"Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation." - Epictetus #stoic #stoicism

So the telekenetic lumberjack says to the guy, he says, "I saw it with my own eyes."

"Positing infinity, the rest is easy." - Roger Zelazny

"How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it." - Marcus Aurelius #stoic #stoicism

So the PC says to the Thom McAn, it says, "I need to reboot."

Today would be my paternal grandmother's 112th birthday. Were she alive she would still want to know why she can't turn left from Bendel to Pinhook.

"To be of use to others is natural." - Marcus Aurelius #stoic #stoicism

So the lucky, charming banker says to the investor, he says, "Ireland. It's capital is always Dublin."

"The wise do not grieve for the things which they do not have but rejoice for those which they do." - Epictetus #stoic #stoicism

So the yegg says to the English type lady, he says, "Tea is for mugs."

Dealing with the creeping destruction of my body and nation simultaneously is challenging but I'm doing my best not to make baby Marcus Aurelius cry.