I feel like I have no desire to do anything lately, like I'm forcing myself to play video games, Forcing myself to study, Forcing myself to draw, Forcing myself to talk to people

I'm always sooo bad about feeling like all of my efforts are for nothing, I just want to skip to the end...

just stubbed my toe so hard half the nail got stuck at a 90 degree angle it's like an "L" shape. Horrible.

A lot of suicidal thoughts lately again

ooogh I am so bad at dealing with embarrassment

I get incredibly anxious when I am having a good time with something and nothing horrible seems to be going on for too long

I think part of why I wish I could be a part of something bigger is because I don't feel capable of making something big myself. I'd love if I could but I've lived my whole life feeling like i'm eternally 2nd rate

Not gonna keep talking about this but, If America is such a country of freedom there sure is a lot of laws and bills being presented/passed that take AWAY freedom lately.

Is there no cure for the feeling of feeling alone yet you are surrounded by people. This and lonely yet socially overwhelmed, I feel like I spent hours muted in a call with friends today cuz it kept happening where I was overwhelmed over and over

i'm confused by this and what exactly main volume even is and why are they different but control eachother

Does anyone else avoid being nice ALL the time so people don't get a crush on you or something

I don't know why but I've been incredibly tired and sickly feeling lately, lots of headaches, lots of random pains, only awake for maybe 9 or so hours before I want to sleep for 10 hours and having this sort of wake-sleep cycle does not feel good

I feel like talking about it a bit, But Fritz in this image (The mad scientist fox) I had as a character who achieved immortality through alchemic processes or creating a potion, something like biological engineering in a fictional sense --

I wish I got more art criticisms honestly, Constructive ones at least. I know it's easy to say "you should color more/add backgrounds more" but I would love "you should try this or incorporate this" as a way to help my style look better/more appealing

I am instantly turned off and away from people who just say 'female' instead of girl or woman etc.

最近、レイトン教授と不思議な町のフレンドリー版をやってた。何年か前に英語でやったけど、日本語版には違うパズルもあるらしい。そして、前に解いたパズルはほぼ全部忘れちゃった 日本語の初心者としてはこういうゲームがつらい あああ

I'm gonna make a point to never respond to anyone who opens with 'hey can I tell you something' or 'I got some news' etc. like, I just won't respond. If you want to tell me something just say it, It's needlessly adding tension for no reason

I wish the kind of education I want didn't cost so much money, I really don't trust myself to teach myself something so difficult like a language, but I just... I just wish I had some results to show for it. Even after all of this time every day... There's still so much I don't understand

It's hard to say or do anything when I constantly am telling myself no one cares. And often it's true, especially if it's just me enjoying the things I enjoy or just wanting to talk. It's always easier to conform to what the others are doing but it'll always make me feel hollow for it

I really do love the amount of customizability these games have and having a whole squad of interchangeable demons fitted to your playstyle feels so cool to me

I wanted to get a full idea of what they look like so I doodled them quick last night

A take on a creature

Does anyone know what might be causing this (I don't use a VPN)

I love the like, poncho with sleeveless shirt underneath look a lot

Sometimes I really do just want to give up on everything... It makes it hard when so many people say they would be sad If I was gone.

I keep listening to this more lately...

I'm so scared right now...

I want a new future

I wish I was able to still endure like I used to

even with coffee I fell asleep

I really like the "And Now For Today's Sponsors!" song in Deltarune, Just on it's own it's so uplifting and energizing, I really like the feeling it has

I am having a thought of how I'd love to work on a project still buy studying really does take up so much of my time, I feel like if I work on a project and study I lack any free time at all...

I keep just deleting stuff I make again I really feel like everything is never good enough

My anxiety has been flaring up a lot more again lately I don't like it

I'd like to meet you like a ghost, and that's all I'll ever be~

I didn't even notice but I am all out of Jouyou Kanji in my flashcards and all that is left now is pure japanese vocabulary which will still take a long time but it is nice knowing I got all the important kanji mostly out of the way now (Just gotta get comfortable with them all now)

what do you call this banana/smile head shape I love to draw it

I can actually do this now, I remember a year or two ago I couldn't at all

I don't feel safe at all still...

Sometimes I'll watch/read peoples opinions on good design for turn based RPGs cuz I wanna make one, But I keep seeing opinions/takes by people who've only played games that are like 15-20+ years old or indie games that don't have any strategy at all and realize I really played very different games

Suddenly remembering this super old song I would like a lot www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnSw...

I had a dream where I was swimming to the bottom of the ocean, but it was totally empty the whole time, and the deeper I went, I didn't drown or anything or seemingly needed air, But I was hearing a really pretty song louder and louder the further I went until I woke up

Looking back on my old art I feel kind of bad cuz of all these ideas I've abandoned, I wanted to make this whole ghost world thing and tell a story with it about death and life and the contrast I wanted to show with it but I don't think I have it in me to push for something like that anymore...

ooh this old drawing of Ametori haha

more random old art wahahaha

There's so much art of mine that I've not posted on here yet

I love mute features so much more than blocking it's so nice, They never know that I am not seeing anything they'll ever say to me ever again, and could be screaming at nothing while I'm blissfully unaware