Why, in the name of all that’s holy, is this hard to stream?

It’s the time of giving

The early December weather can only be described as “godforsaken.”

Starting my Thanksgiving cooking Starting my Thanksgiving cooking www.anoffgridlife.com/making-tradi...

Trying to find the best mail-order Biscotti.

“What’s for breakfast?” “Diabetes.”

Stringing a garden hose through the house to clean a rarely used shower proved to be a regrettable decision.

I love being barefoot most of all

“Great. I’m home in time for Final Jeopardy.” Fuck.

“Lord, just give me a sign. Any kind of sign.”

For some reason I have a bag of pistachios I also have sore fucking fingernails.

Saturday Night. (And I’m Googling “bulk socks.”)

According to my broken barometer, it’s “very dry.” Just like it has been for past 267 days.

Facebook just suggested an event I might like: an ABBA Tribute band. I rather stab myself in the face with a #2 pencil

Sunday morning, and I’m going to church

$1.99 frozen baked mini quiche? Fuck yes.

I have to Google “short shower pipe.” I’m not looking forward to the results.

When you’re at the Sears’ portrait studio and the edible kicks in

“Snap it up, kids. Those arteries got a long way to go.”

I face an existential crisis: microwaved jalapeño poppers at 8:47 or no?

Next week, the Republicans will hold their “No Kinks” rallies

Anime fan, one would hope

Working on Sunday is tolerable when you have cheese in a can

Reasons for drinking in the United States: 1) Depression 2) Stress 3) Changing your wiper blades

The Royal couple, the President, and the First Lampshade

I confess. I have no idea what “Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys” means

I got one savvy motherfucking mosquito in my house.

Love that laundry load you don’t have to fold. Towels and fucking socks.

The houseflies have arrived. Either the summer conditions are perfect or my personal hygiene has taken a dip.

Any shoes that require me to sit down to put on are a no-go.

Fuck it. We’re celebrating ham.

We all been there

I succumbed and bought my cat soup. More of a bisque actually. (I need to get out more)

Somehow I joined a Facebook group titled “Grandma’s Old Recipes.” I fucking quit.

Me: “I don’t need this lightning cord.” Apple TV remote: “Good luck, asshole.”

I bought an $89 fan. Motherfucker. I can’t be trusted with credit.

They should make it a capital offense to put ground coffee and unground coffee next to each other on the shelf at the grocery store. —ramblings of a angry guy with no grinder and a $9 bag of beans.

The most glorious of all days. Remembering you have a baguette in-house

Making kebobs. So far chicken, peppers, onion, zucchini, and about 8 puncture wounds.

Contemplating my snacks for the week. Top of the list? Celery Second? Hemlock.

$1.99 frozen grocery store jalapeño poppers? Yes. A thousand times yes.

“Alexa, play ABBA.” I need to stop day-drinking

Last night, both the former governor of Maine and a dirty Hav-a-Heart trap were in my local bar. The Hav-a-Heart was the least noxious

Double-dose of cucumbers and I’m one step from being the Hindenburg

When hauling a ladder, and you don’t have anything to hang, a Santa hat will do

I don’t want to brag but I planned my week of pants perfectly

Ritz. So overrated.

As full micro moons go, this one is pretty good

Something kept taking my dog’s bones off the deck. I was guessing raccoon, fox, or skunk. I was wrong.