Therapy doesn’t necessarily free people from their patterns, but it always tries to shine a light on previously dismissed paths. Whether it’s perfectionism, people-pleasing, obsessing, or avoiding, these strategies are, as addictions, short-term solutions. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Marty Mauser was somehow able to hold back the tide of perfectionism, with its excessive demands for more validation, centering himself with proof that he was right about himself. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Finding solace in having proven his greatness, Marty reorients himself to his family. Now he knows, with a high degree of certainty, what Schopenhauer argued centuries before: Greatness is eternal, which means it can’t be taken away if it’s real. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Marty Mauser’s pursuit was meaningful to him, whether or not you believe his dreams were too grand. Marty cared deeply, and his life mattered to him. From a clinical perspective, that’s our hope for our patients. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Marty Mauser found a way to silence his shame, to turn it outward and blame the world for his discontent; he created a path to give himself the chance to compete for his freedom, which was to be acquired by any means necessary. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Article: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Like Marty, Schopenhauer was certain his time would come. Having only achieved fame late in life, Schopenhauer consoled himself by remembering that lasting fame is based on merit, unlike its shallow counterpart, popularity, which is only based on a trend. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Finding solace in having proven his greatness, Marty Mauser reorients himself to his family. Now he knows, with a high degree of certainty, what Schopenhauer argued centuries before: Greatness is eternal, which means it can’t be taken away if it’s real. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Perfectionism, like any other addiction, is full of excuses—“I’ll become a better person once I’m successful.” “I’ll make sure to take care of others when I’m able to.” “They’ll understand since this is for the best.” www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

I felt compelled to criticize his and my own blindness. Marty exhibited some of the traits of an addict: the escapism, the glorification of some external fix, the obsessiveness, the thoughtlessness, the impulsivity, and the inability to feel satisfied. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Marty Mauser writes the story of the gifted child with a happy ending. While he doesn’t necessarily express remorse, and he likely considered much of what he did as justifiable, he knows when to quit, to take his metaphorical and literal balls and go home. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Having achieved fame late in life, Schopenhauer consoled himself by remembering that lasting fame is based on merit, unlike its shallow counterpart, popularity, which is only based on a trend. He and Marty didn’t need to be liked; they knew they were great. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

While corroded by perfectionism and grandiosity, he also embodied the quality many gifted kids want to have: authenticity. Attached to self-importance is the sense of importance; Marty’s pursuit was meaningful to him, even if his dreams were too grand. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Like Marty, Schopenhauer wasn’t concerned with whether others believed in him at any particular time; he was certain his time would come. Having achieved fame late in life, Schopenhauer consoled himself by remembering that lasting fame is based on merit. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

In essence, Marty is redeemable because he discovers "good enough." Somehow, then, his essence becomes purified—"enough" washes away all of his sins; it’s the great confession. And that’s why the audience, in the end, loves him. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Perfectionism can be thought of as a preoccupation with harmony, where thoughts, feelings, and decisions are always aligned. Character, therefore, it’s believed, should always be judged based on all three facets. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

We chase greatness to avoid feeling the dead-end shame of our naked selves, stripped of delusion. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Oliver Sacks wrote, “All of us entertain the idea of another sort of medicine… which will restore to us our lost health and wholeness. We spend our lives searching for what we lost; and one day, perhaps, we will suddenly find it.” www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

We may secretly hope that Marty makes us feel OK about our choices. To me, he acts more as a mirror, presenting the absurdity of them. For perfectionists, we couldn’t make sense of how to feel about him since we often don’t know how to feel about ourselves. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Perfectionism and idealism tend to go hand and hand, whereby perfecting oneself in some significant way in turn perfects one’s world. Children often do this when responding to an emotionally reactive and unpredictable parent. So, they internalize blame. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Just like Gatsby, Marty missed the point: Once you become that person, you need to continue to be them to sustain your success. A competitive life requires carving out others. There is no “I’ll get back to this when I’m finished.” www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Perfectionism is a trail of tears and bodies, all in service of the grand purpose of being among the gods. Like any other addiction, it’s full of excuses—“I’ll become a better person once I’m successful.” “They’ll understand since this is for the best.” www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Responsibility makes reasonable requests for redress. Responsibility cares about each individual involved. And responsibility concerns itself with fairness. Blame is something else. Blame is poorly justified dominance. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Marty steals, lies, and degrades himself, but none of it matters to him in any meaningful way; his organizing principle—success at any cost—precludes any semblance of shame. That’s why, as an audience, we’re so moved by and envious of him. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

People-pleasing contains immense hope, but it's also conflict-averse. Within that hope is a magical idea, indicating that if one were to perfectly adapt to their environment, everything would “turn out fine.” The people-pleaser, thus, tends to personalize. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

I pitied Marty for his inability to find value in who he was, rather than what he could do. We chase greatness to avoid feeling the dead-end shame of our naked selves, stripped of delusion. But despite this, I still wanted to be him. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

As someone with bipolar II disorder, I can tell you that it’s difficult to enjoy much of anything for its own sake. When depressed, it feels as though nothing matters, so I dwell on the past. If elated, I’m just waiting for some great experience or reward. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Article: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf... #MartySupreme

Marty’s organizing principle—success at any cost—precludes any semblance of shame. And this is what makes him such a captivating character. It isn’t just him rising above his lot in life; it’s how he does it. That’s why we’re so moved by and envious of him. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

#MartySupreme is, at once, the embodiment of perfectionism, narcissism, greed, moxie, passion, genius, and cultural degradation. The protagonist, Marty Mauser, elicits all of your feelings because you can’t make sense of how you should feel about him. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Marty Mauser sacrifices any semblance of humanity in pursuit of glory, which he notes is life-defining—evident in his comment to his romantic partner, Rachel, when he obnoxiously tells her that she can’t understand the pressure he’s under. @a24 www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Marty Mauser elicits all of your feelings; you can’t make sense of how you should feel about him. Is he the problem or is the culture? Is he surviving, playing by rules imparted to him by the real culprits? Or is this human nature and he’s an exemplar? www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Maybe most importantly, even paradoxically: Just allowing yourself to feel anger toward another, not shaming yourself for it, may defuse your internal, emotional conflict, thus quieting your rage. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Perfectionism, like any other addiction, is full of excuses—“I’ll become a better person once I’m successful.” “I’ll make sure to take care of others when I’m able to.” “They’ll understand since this is for the best.” www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Jason Stanley somehow, without us knowing, became the host of our podcast lol

I pitied him for his inability to find value in who he was, rather than what he could do — perfectionists, we chase greatness to avoid feeling the dead-end shame of our naked selves, stripped of delusion. Despite his flaws, I still wanted to be him. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Existential psychotherapist Irvin Yalom, in order to aid the grieving process, told his most stubborn patients that they needed to give up the notion of a better past. He believed one needed to grieve the pas to nurture the possibilities of the present. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Article: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

In small doses, shame can and should be potent; however, its excessive use may betray its communal purpose. Fundamentally, shame shouldn’t serve us as much as the broader community. Feeling shame is mainly for the benefit of others. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Marty steals, lies, and degrades himself, but none of it matters to him in any meaningful way; his organizing principle—success at any cost—precludes any semblance of shame. And this is what makes him such a captivating character. We envy him. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Perfectionism makes life feel meaningful but drains any meaning worth aspiring to. In his dogged pursuit, Marty joins the ranks of Jay Gatsby, who also obsessed about overcoming his circumstances and who also carelessly sacrificed others. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Maybe most importantly, even paradoxically: Just allowing yourself to feel anger toward another, not shaming yourself for it, may defuse your internal, emotional conflict, thus quieting your rage. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

As is common in perfectionism, to Marty Bauser, the world was divided between the winners and losers, and he was going to do anything to become a winner. And that’s where the common person is superior to the arrogant Marty; they don’t sacrifice their soul. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

As a perfectionist, I easily saw myself in Marty: the inability to lose or take responsibility, the tantrums and pain of feeling inferior to anyone, the grandiosity in believing you’re special, and a sense that others in your life are secondary characters. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Perfectionism, like any addiction, is full of excuses—“I’ll become a better person once I’m successful.” “I’ll make sure to take care of others when I’m able to.” “They’ll understand since this is for the best.” Marty lies, cheats, and degrades himself. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Like the gangster films of the past, Marty Supreme is a fantasy of what and who we could be if we had no shame, but he’s no hero. The childish perfectionist in me rooted for him, recalling my own excuses and unwillingness to concern myself with others. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

I pitied his stupidity in believing his achievements would make him love himself. I pitied him for allowing himself to be humiliated, for having no self-respect. And I pitied him for his inability to find value in who he was, rather than what he could do. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

#MartySupreme is, at once, the embodiment of perfectionism, narcissism, greed, moxie, passion, genius, and cultural degradation. The protagonist, Marty Mauser, elicits all of your feelings because you can’t make sense of how you should feel about him. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

In bipolar disorder, fighting, trying, and exerting go nowhere in any way that would matter. The exit is an illusion supported by the immense optimism gifted by the purportedly sublime pursuit of perfection. The reality is one can only learn to modulate. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...

Schopenhauer was the OG #MartySupreme Article: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...