I just had a Glow Up. And by Glow Up I mean I just sat on a hard plastic Rudolph toy.

How did I go from someone who loved a good book to someone that watches hours of fast motion people cleaning filthy rugs.

Question for dudes: after visiting the restroom in a nice hotel/restaurant or the like, after you wash & dry your hands do you go back to the sink to squirt lotion in your hands …. ? Me? I start by squirting lotion in my hands and yelling “fuck”

Drew Carey reunites with us on the What If podcast!

I occasionally log into LinkedIn. It’s always the same thing: 30 strangers offering me an MBA program.

Keeping a detailed Excel spreadsheet of all the people that saw one of my stories but did not heart it. You know who you are.

Sorry ya’ll but Peter Cottontail sounds like a fake, totally made up name

I missed the acting class where the teacher explained how to jerk your head back and squint to swallow pills dry

“Someone hacked us and your data. Here’s a free credit monitoring service for one year” - companies “Oh no!!! , I can’t wait a whole year!” -criminals

Ep2 of Seth Rogan’s #TheStudio is soooo good!

Deleting your data from #23andme is about as effective as posting on Facebook that it can’t use your photos.

“Let’s go to an Irish food restaurant “ -nobody happy St. Patrick’s day ☘️

I bet after singing “I want Candy” at their 15th state fair, that group didn’t really want candy anymore.

Shark Tank pitch: Alarm clock that shoots coffee into your mouth via fun tube.

Watching the AI baby videos of famous sitcoms is peak Skibbity

At @sxsw.com to promote new post with @waynebradybaby.bsky.social #whatif #improv @headgum.com

Jason Issac’s accent though… #WhiteLotus

Looking for a decent 30 year lease to buy option with no $ down for an egg

All the drummers online doing reaction videos to YYZ which they claim they’ve never heard are liars

I’m so hungry, I could eat a hors d'oeuvres

Is it weird people are angry about someone making AI pics/art, but they totally use AI text all day? To the software, it’s the exact same math.

I like to imagine the Blues Clues guy got a degree from community college and started BlueSky while his Harvard educated brother still works at Cheesecake Factory.

Banking some improv podcasts 2day. Well give u a shoutout if we use ur suggestions! 1- What’s a secret or mystery u wish u had the answer to? (Avoid the obvious answers) and 2- What can instantly change your vibe? (For better or worse) thx! (More info on podcast coming soon)

With Clint Eastwood directing movies in his 90s, I think we were all hoping David Lynch would surprise us with a new movie. Really gonna miss that guy.

Astro bot is lots of fun. Highly recommend.

I’ll be taking a break from real life to just be on social media for a while. If you need to reach me in person you can find me on couch or toilet.

Was it weird that Silo ended with a sneak peak of a new season of House of Cards?

2025- Trying to avoid plastics with my food- instead of drinking water out of a plastic bottle, I drink it out of a paper box, lined in plastic.

Day 4 of wearing same pajama bottoms 24hrs/day

Merry Christmas to all those who famous Cool and the Gang song,

The way pancakes and waffles are laid out on a menu with equal coverage compared to egg dishes, makes me think 50% of people are eating pancakes and waffles with syrup bananas nuts and whipped cream over healthier choices like ok FINE IM GETTING F’N WAFFLES

Something important we NEED to talk about: zip lock style bags. Is it just me or do no bags with zip closing tops work anymore. I’ll spend 10 min trying to perfectly line up the things and slowly press and slide. Nope. Just me?

Whether you’re on X, Threads, Bluesky, CloneFarm, BeutTackle, Norgowham, pFdddddd, Yamshits2, Tittyballoon, or MySpace, Happy Thanksgiving 🦃🍁🍽

Although it’s easy to fall for “the oldest trick in the book”, locating this trick would be difficult as the book is likely organized alphabetically and not chronologically requiring you to read the entire book noting the date of trick.

Truth

Gonna try yet another brine/spatchcock/butter dip/flipped turkey recipe this year to assure a guaranteed “twigs~dry” turkey meat because that’s the multiverse I apparently live in. #Thanksgiving2024 #turkey

Finally saw the uncensored Henson Puppet Up improv show @ Jim Henson studios. It was great!!! #improv #puppetup

So far, every post in my feed is about politics or Bluesky itself. Where’s the fucking bread recipes and DnD miniature painting love???!!!

I loved #Wool - I like apple’s adaptation #Silo - but now #SteveZahn involved? That dude is great in every single thing he does. Bravo!

Serious about deal makings

Boxing question: is the “pchetttt” sound from punching made by the gloves or the boxers exhaling as they hit… or something else? #netfix

A lot of people coming here over Threads/Mastadon … why? Asking seriously

If I suddenly had god-like powers, although world-peace would be considered, I’d make Kendrick Lamar and Drake sit down and write a song about what they LIKE about each other. #DrakeVsKendrick

Looking for a good Mother’s Day gift? How about something that perfectly sums up everything about her and how amazing of a mother she is? …. NO PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Watched Oppenheimer. So many quick scenes, disjointed time jumping, and swelling music: it felt like a 3 hour recap like “last season on Oppenheimer…” #Oscars2024

Who of the teams are you rooting for in the Super Bowl football sports competition? (Now say that out loud in a vaguely European accent and it seems natural )

It been a while, but here goes …. Ahem….. WORD UP!

All I want for Xmas is a business interaction in which I am not asked to take a survey after.

Posting!!!!!!!!!