Recently got officially diagnosed with ADHD and boy oh boy does my chaoticc life make sense lol

do you ever watch a commercial for a pharmaceutical drug and think, “yeah, but that guy’s not even a real doctor” lol

Wish I had something kind to say about myself but I don’t. I feel destroyed emotionally and by life and I wonder if things will ever truly change. I haven’t been able to stop grieving and even with therapy, I feel so fcking raw and let down and like a huge disappointment. Welcome to my pity party 🎉

Little did I know this card would change my the trajectory of my business. I was unemployed and depressed, but my loved ones told me to keep trying. I kept painting, learning, designing — until this became my bestseller. So grateful for this journey. 🖤

So grateful to share that not only did I receive the wedding order commission, but that I’m officially done with it. Month and weeks of labor: from painting to printing, to cutting and perfecting each detail! All my Lover archetype energy embodied and shared — it was an honor for me. ✨💖🔖✨

Transforming into a sea witch. Hello to these new depths. 🧜‍♀️✨

The cruelest truth: even when you give someone your soul, your love, your devotion through their darkest hours… they can still treat you like you were nothing.

Apparently some sort of rapture is set to happen. Feel free to leave my name on your 401ks and other investments. 💅🏼

my car windshield — isn’t it too dreamy? 💭

open.spotify.com/track/12tjs2... I’ve always loved Jimmy Eat World’s album Futures, especially 23 and Polaris. Dark yet hopeful, full of longing and melancholy. 🖤

What am I thinking about? Trees. Specifically Baobab trees. 🌳

I’m using watercolor ink paper leftover pieces I’ve cut into squares to make small practice paintings during breaks during the workday because corporate work sucks. Anyway. I think I’m gonna turn this into a cute cherry 🍒 cake 🍰🥰 Used a bit of gold metallic watercolor and it’s adorable af.

One of my most favorite poems. Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

Sometimes I react strongly because my body remembers a lifetime of trauma. I could sit in shame, but instead I make amends. Because I care, because I’m more than a diagnosis. My apology is my heart on display.

Roof work rattled me this morning, loud bangs, vibrations, it felt like danger. Weirdly enough, it gave me the smallest glimpse of what the Palestinians endure daily under real explosions. I can’t stop thinking of them. Their nervous systems must be totally wrecked 😢

What I love about poets is how each develops their own birdsong — unmistakable voices piercing the silence. Some carry beauty, others darkness, yet all travel across the sky, across this mysterious expanse. Poetry, no matter how solitary, is always heard somewhere.

What’s weird is that I hardly watch music videos. I let the music set the scene and paint the imagery. Sometimes I feel like watching the videos writes the experience for me. Other times it confirms it. Other times it doesn’t make sense. The symbols arrive to the forefront.

My body likes to wake up early lately, so now among my morning ritual is the call to stargaze. I get to see my favorite constellation, Orion. I even saw the Pleiades with just my eyes. Can’t wait to get my telescope or binoculars. On my wish list. ✨🔭

Monet 😍

this is my piece of labradorite. Such a gorgeous stone, one of my absolute favorites. Check out that gorgeous iridescent flash! 😍💙🩶💚🤎 (from the wonderful Craig's Emporium)

Allow yourself to be amazed by the way the stars speak of who you are and of what could be. Time is a language and structure we created to understand the sky’s eternal rhythms, to make sense of our strange and beautiful existence.

I think I’m going to embody my sea witch hair again 🧜‍♀️ I loved the dark green hair. It’s calling to me.

Kaytranada has had me like this for years lmao 🪩

When the harpsichord drops, m’lord 💃🏻

walkin’ the walk. attempting to. that spiritual new boot goofin’ 👢

Dave Grohl lately: I’VE GOT ANOTHER CONFESSION TO MAKE: I’M A FOOOOL

I’m carrying so much. Why even pretend? It aches like fucking hell

a vida me ensinou a lutar pelo que é meu 💖

Are you even Latino if Alejandro Sanz “Corazón Partío” doesn’t live in your heart? ❤️ Su música es poesía con sabor, ritmo y emoción; hermosa y estremecedora sin duda.

when you intentionally order and pay for a side of guac, but you forgot to eat it lol #adhd

Fuck healing. Just gonna be unhinged and insane from here on out lol

me, singing to the pets, complete with keeses and cuddles: Amorcito, corazón Yo tengo tentación de un beso 🎶

regálame la silla que tiene arte yo paso por tu puerta casi to’ los días yo paso y tú decides cuando asomarte

galaxías kýklos 🌌 in memory, yet living eternally in my being 📍somewhere, someplace

Quantum particles being observed be like: “I always feel like somebody’s watching meeee 🎶”

What a radiant privilege it is to sing, to play a favorite song — to release not only catharsis, but also a whispered form of holiness, carved from the depths of your soul. To let it rise, take form in your voice, your body, your being.

It’s possible I’m going to end up getting the wedding commission. The recipient loved the samples I mailed her. YAY. What a freaking honor to be able to paint something for their special day. I’m so happy ❤️

Taking a break listening to a favorite song in my car since it’s way too hot for a quick nature walk. So happy it’s finally the weekend #frankieruiz #salsera #tgif

my attempt to paint our beautiful star ⭐️ 2 x 2 on watercolor paper

Got some great news and I’m feeling so highly blessed and favored ✨💖✨ yayyyyyy

I went on a Halfpricebooks mini trip recently. I couldn’t resist getting Amélie, even though it’s not blu-ray. That’s something I love and miss about physical media: the cover artwork. Felt so intentional and like an offering to the art of the film.

Recently rewatched Being John Malkovich after years. It’s still fantastic. Inventive, meta, unsettling, symbolic, karmic — a philosophical labyrinth of weirdness, depth, and dark humor. 🖤🎭🪞

Friday. I had a long week, I was super grumpy 😠 lol

just so you know, you’re a STAR 🌟

I promised myself I’d take more selfies, even if I’m not happy with how I look (and that feels like most days sometimes). Here I am though, honoring that promise. Healing and showing up for myself. I’m happy my hair is getting longer again — it’s been a long growth journey. ❤️‍🩹

An endless river without destination — this soul-place without end, without map, brings a surrendering to the truth of what’s always been and what will be. This river was always beautiful, even if sometimes I could not understand why. ❤️‍🩹

I am the child of peoples who survived, who fought for survival. I carry the silencing of my ancestors’ stories, the pain of being born into systems of erasure, the confusion of being shaped by colonization while resisting it, and the fire of wanting to protect what is sacred.

Insect drive-thrus be like: ‘Want fries with your molt?’ 🐞

I am not “nice,” but I am kind. And even so, my kindness is earned and my intuition is sacred. I do not owe access to everyone.