The opening of a new sperm bank named Frozen Brogurt.

Manspread, miracle whip it out.

Victoria’s Secret’s new partner store: Hank’s Protrusion.

Liquor before beer, I'm feeling queer.

Hentai: actually has nothing to do with trussing a chicken.

Aubergina, the world's first fuckable eggplant.

I need to pee, open your butt.

Brawndo A La Turk, the jazz plants crave.

The hunchback of neutered doms.

Michelob Ultra: die of water poisoning before the alcohol can set in!

Frank "Hyundai" Sonat®a

K-pop, but the K stands for ketamine.

Colon clench, tighten up that sphincter on our new and improved internal resistance band

Take a nice, relaxing ride on the domestic violence swans.

Strip bingo, when grandma's wearing too damn much.

Need an abortion? Ride the Long Island Rail Road and shake that fetus out!

Panther as a unit of measurement. Usage: 1 panther of cocaine.

You remember those sticky hand things? That, but it's balls.

You've heard of Tupperware, now introducing: TupperHere.

Eyeball kegels.

Hyper-extendable penis.

Fuck, marry, kill: texas, beethoven, ritz crackers

Is there already a Johnson & Johnson "no more tears" collaboration with Ozzy Osbourne?

Who's this "Evan" guy and why does everyone always talk about his essence?

Now introducing McDonald's play place with automatic bleach dispensers.

I didn't know alcoholics anonymous graded butter

The next time you order cookware, imagine the people shipping it to you. Now imagine one of them earned the nickname "Bobby Booty-Fingers" and wash it before you use it.

Slits are the in-ground pools of sheaths.

An A Perfect Circle cover band named A Sketchy Triangle.

From the people who brought you Tickle Me Elmo, introducing Waterboard Me Helen Keller.

A battery-shaped caffeinated suppository

Any burp is a good burp if you don't throw up.

Use code "mothman's warm wet tongue" at checkout

Transdermal alcoholic lotion, moisturize and get shit-your-pants drunk at the same time.

Aluminum Foil, extra strength anti-perspirant, SLAP and GO.

"We hate to see you leave but we love to watch you go" -your local porta-potty company

The next evolution in baby fur technology, introducing: Fetus-Furs™️.

I suck therefore I am.

@finnacorp.bsky.social The absynthe has been consigned to the bad corner and shamed by finger pointing

Anti-diarrheal, also known as diafakeeal

Who is Arnold palming?

Blink twice if you need help

Ballpiss, dribble directly down the balls

Napoleon Boner-Part

The genital circus.

You've heard of butt plugs, but what about the other end? Now introducing: Mouth Plugs™, shut that fucker up.

Fursuit with fleshlights in the ears.

Uber powered by handjobs.

Weaponized Incontinence, a self-defense course for the elderly.