literally me (through tears)

i feel so sad and alone

our baby hermie is so freaking stressed out around my mil's cats and WON'T stop yowling and growling at them no matter how they're treating him and then he ends up chasing them if he gets too stressed and will attack me if i intervene :') i am so stressed and tired of being hurt. he's fine in our

we went swimming today and i got sunburned so bad even tho i used sunscreen? Pain

i got a transgender colored gelert on neopets so i made a design for her do you love her

first poem in like a decade

thot i was like getting somewhere but now it's hurting like i'm missing something integral in my guts.

my schedule is so weird rn but our cats keep getting out and i am scared if i sleep they'll get hurt so i just stay up all night. also something something missing time during the day.

my bank froze my account cuz i was behind on my credit card bill so instead of repaying my mil i had to pay on my stupid credit card. HATE

feel really hurt by the fact my mil basically was trying to tell me not to have a phone instead of helping me pay for it, i need to start e-begging more lol but i'm just depressed, there's like nothing hiring and i hate myself

should just sleep but im scared ill have a panic attack if i try because i'll think too hard about shit

can i talk to anyone about some depressing life stuff

i've been cooking a lot lately... made cheeseburger egg rolls, tamale pie, and some potatoes too. the tamale pie was the best but nothing is ever Seasoned Enough for me so i'm prolly gonna fuck w the seasoning when i make it again tomorrow. but it's yummy. i used beryl's recipe

i'm probably just pmsing but life is really hard

today we went to an asian market and i got a chocolate bread and it is the exact same kind they used to have at japantown and i was blasted to the past

ooooooghhhhhh i feel like the worst person on planet earth all the time now

also my tablet didn't die but she is suffering greatly. flashing like almost constantly

this doodle i did of lestaat really is all my emotions rn

tablet finally died... and i'm in like the biggest creative boom i've had for ages... :(

NOT ANTHONY HEAD BRO TAKE ME INSTEAD

7 am and i'm not tired really... ugh... i hope this new med they're giving me fixes this sleeplessness problem

peggy is going to the vet tomorrow and i gave her a gabapentin to prep her for it and she took it surprisingly easy for being a 'bite risk' at the vet. checkmate

realized i have adult adhd recently and every single relationship article about it is extremely depressing

trying to cope with inevitable life turned upside down events today but not doing great with it probably because i forgot my meds yesterday. i'm tired of crying

very cool, sad dream about my grandpa

ran out of my meds and went to get them for the first time without my insurance and once is ~*800 dollars*~ so now im cold turkeying off an antipsychotic when we have to move 20+ boxes tomorrow to my mil’s to move in with her. HAHA

i miss my plushies that all got destroyed when i moved into that stupid fucking trailer

i am such an evil soul i can't handle it. corrupted and mean and evil

there's really no purpose to me being here. a long time ago i should have died.

i got an interview at a general rv store so i hope it goes well?!?

very very very depressed and stressed

very pissy that my firing came the day after i had my first s/h break in ages too. like can life be nicies to me

i got fired

oh yeah also. my tax refund. they said they 'sent me a letter' detailing 'needing more info' and i never got it, irs phoneline is useless and you literally basically CAN'T talk to a person, so i'm just waiting for them to send me a return that's different (probably way lower lol)

peggy sue is getting up in years so no longer cleaning herself, rresulting in really bad mats, we are having to take her to the vet to be sedated and shaved on monday and everyone please send good vibes because i'm scared for her despite it being (hopefully) routine

really just wish i had died a long time ago that’s all i can say lately

thank you i’m legit crying from relief. idk how it got so bad this month

hi i am beyond fucked financially if anyone can help. paying this won’t even fix much but i dunno what else to do

can anyone spare us some money for dinner we haven’t been able to get groceries due to me working and nyja being sick 🙏

mil found this baby cat on the street and adopted him; his tail is bone at the end poor baby and he had a foot wound that’s finally healed up. he grows daily

some wedding pics here too 💕

last time just getting her shaved was around 100 and she needs that cuz she keeps getting hairballs. lmao... so screwed money wise with this wedding already.

peggy had a weird coughing and hacking fit earlier and she wasn't choking on anything and it scared the shit out of me i can't stop being scared now. i have to take her to the vet on friday and i doubt i'll have enough money for it but i'm scared she has like heart disease or st now.

guess i will ask here too… we have like no money for food or groceries rn so if anyone can help we would appreciate it 😢

i find these pictures me and yaya did for our cake planning so charming!! we probably are gonna try and combo our ideas but i love them (top is yaya’s bottom is mine)

a recent baby pic. these guys will be three in may… time goes too fast…

um what’s up with me. my dress is cute for the wedding :3 i yam excited for it

gonna try to post here more… i miss friends who left twittorx.

i will use this shit to post my neopets daily until i ease into posting more here. check this out this is ash my darigan jetsam