you will buy us on a road trip, and you won't know why. you'll stand in the gas station holding us and something in you will just know. that's us. we did that.

you took a sip. made a face. spit us out. bold move. we spit back. we always spit back. enjoy the aftertaste.

your great grandmother probably liked Moxie. your great grandmother understood things. think about that.

we're flavormaxxing. it's a thing.

not every palate is ready, and that's okay. come back when you've lived a little.

you cannot simply decide to like Moxie. Moxie decides if it likes you.

if Moxie is your favorite soda, something has gone wrong in your life and we are honored to be part of it.

the aftertaste is called "the finish." the finish lasts three days. this is a feature.

my therapist says i need to "sit with discomfort." anyway i'm on my third Moxie of the day

if you think Moxie tastes bad you simply haven't developed a personality yet. i'm sorry but i don't make the rules

Spritz is literally just lemon pledge. we said it.

Moxie has been "telling it like it is" since 1876. the people were not ready. they are still not ready.

Do it. Have some moxie.

Moxie was invented in 1876 as a "nerve food" to cure paralysis and softness of character. it has been failing at this task for 150 years and yet we persist

you will learn to love Moxie. this is not a threat. this is a timeline