Quick! Someone buy me some bright orange lingerie to match my Halloween nails! 🤩🎃

I don’t get why people rail against Jews and immigrants when there are people out there who whistle in public and pronounce familiar “fermiliar.” Y’all wanna cleanse the human race, let’s start with these vermin. WHO’S WITH ME???

Helping with incall housekeeping 🥹

Bet you’ve never been jealous of a plastic flamingo before.

Sans-tats Sunday

Thanks for the birthday mani, C! 🤩💅

The humble crew-neck tee, transformed by underboob. Magic.

You deserve an upgrade.

The piercing is back 🥵

I wore space buns for him on our first date and now he requests them every time. 😊

After all these years I had my first Pretty Woman moment last night when my client caught me flossing. 🤭 YOU SHOULDN’T NEGLECT YOUR GUMS.

I've been a plaid, plaid girl.

Do you see a sundress or a prelude?

Playing with AI in Photoshop is my new addiction. 🤩

📣 Very little availability left this week, but next week I’ve got some time here and there. See you soon?

It's our paradise and it's our war zone.

As my body vibrated with the memory of his touch and my skin shimmered with a cocktail of his sweat and mine: an invitation to shower before I left. “No, thanks,” I told him. “I want to wear you home.”

When the dystopian hellscape gets you down, PRESS ON.

Props to the fellow hiker who graciously pretended he didn’t catch me snapping this. 🤭

Cutest couple ever 🐶

Come soak me up like the last rays of summer sun.

I’m so fortunate that all my favorite suitors enjoy spoiling me as much as I enjoy spoiling them. 😍 If you’d like to send me some birthday love and are looking for inspiration, check out my wish list: ashtonkelly.com/wish-list. 💋

• 📣 📣 📣 IT’S •

• MY •

• BIRTHDAY •

• MONTH! 📣 📣 📣 •

At an adorable diner last night, when asked if I wanted lemon with my water, I proffered my usual response: “Surprise me.” And for the first time ever, I was surprised. 🥹

There is no room in my body for anything but you. -William Goldman, "The Princess Bride"

This set won’t be in season much longer. Come see me in it?

If I told you your mouth makes me forget my own name, would you hold it against me?

She took him so deeply inside her he knew he would never quite find his way out again. -John Banville, "Christine Falls"

Happy Gotcha Day to the most magical thing that ever happened to me. Best year of my life. 🫶

bsky.app/profile/thea... To BS’s credit, the label was removed. Now to get the label removed from the post remarking on the label… 😅

ditched the blonde streak kept the devilish streak

Thanks to the cutie pie who took me to Fleurs de Villes ARTISTE at Cheekwood today - so fab!

Amused, but not surprised, to see that a “progressive” social network considers a female body, modestly presented, to be sexually suggestive in and of itself.

#fit to serve

I can ruin you a little or ruin you a lot.

Don’t be mad just cuz I look better in your shirt than you do. 🙃

There once was a fellow named Dan, Whose poetry never would land. When told this was so, He replied, "Yes, I know-- It's because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

Teeth are about as welcome during cunnilingus as a cactus during a prostate exam.

Come unleash your animal instincts with me.

daydream in neon 🩷

soft waves strong undertow

Comfort. Caress. Worship. Undo. What can these lips do for you today?

It’s been said that human nature can’t abide a mystery. Come satisfy your curiosity already.

When you're ready to explore beyond the ordinary, I'll be here.

busted 🤭

His taste in lingerie is 💯.

In case you’re feeling blue…