Am I aware that the Lean Cuisine pizza isn’t actually healthy? Yes. Did I buy one anyway using the branding as justification? Also yes. I did that because I am a sucker.

Despite living in the hellscape that is this day and age, I somehow hit seven years sober today.

Me talking to my friends and therapist about my personal boundaries and stuff: “Yeah. That all sounds reasonable.” Dorks who slide in my DMs: “Wow. You expect like… A lot. I don’t think that can happen… Wanna fuck tho?” I think I’m okay with just dying alone at this point.

Had a “felt cute” moment while out on a ride today. After the nightmare that the past week was, I needed both the seat time and the aforementioned moment.

Just played a CD.. All the songs were mixed to the same volume and, get this, no adverts at all. I'm telling you, this is the future.

RIP freud. you would’ve loved whatever this is.

It’s kinda weird seeing people you know IRL get suggested on the dating apps. Kinda feels like the algorithms going “I dunno, y’all figure something out. I’m grabbing a smoke.”

I don’t know who you are, Annie… Or the reason your Bose Bluetooth earbuds pinged my phone asking permission to connect… But I hope you enjoyed having “Best Day Ever” from SpongeBob blasted directly into your ear holes at full volume.

It’s never easy saying goodbye, but with wonky cats, you never know how long you’ll actually get with them. Thank you for the last seven years, Squish. RIP

New helmet. Who dis?

Early 00s goth girl movies were something else… Like, they were dumb as shit but they were a lot of fun.

To the revving jackass that I know was trying to race me on Pass Road: This is a Harley. Not a sport bike. I didn’t buy this thing to race fuckbois, I bought it because I wanted to ride a loud, slow hog but got tired of your mom.

So who’s trying to date me?

oh my god can people who draw porn of Zelda characters. stop tagging it as Zelda. I just. wanna see Zelda characters having a nice day and shit or cool art like splatoon IVE SEEN MIDNAS BUTTHOLE. TOO. MANY. TIMES.

I ain’t gonna lie, Trump’s beef with the Vatican has me feeling real weird about my stance on organized religion.

I went out for catfood and spent two and a half hours thundering down the Coast. Today was too perfect not to.

“How hard is it to see? Put your faith in me I sure wouldn't want to be praying to the wrong piece of wood You should get where you belong Everything you know is wrong Come on, sing along, everybody now God given” God Given by Nine Inch Nails Go see Lex at Nine Lives Tattoo in Gulfport, MS.

Woman at the laundromat: “Uh ma’am, I can see your thong and lower back tattoo…” Me, just trying to get my clothes loaded up: “Merry Christmas, I guess.” I grabbed low-rise jeans this morning. I can only do so much here…

Out of context conversation snippet: “Picked up a hooker at the Rancid show… Call that skankin’.”

Funny shit happens when I have errands to run…

(Don’t have this one on DVD) This movie is a testament to the damage that the Underworld movies did to B movies in the mid-00s. Also, I don’t think I’ll ever see Jason Mewes as anyone other than Jay…

Local flea market came in clutch today

Rest in peace to the Legend of Chuck Norris. Rest in shit to the human that was Chuck Norris.

Little chilly today, but it was too pretty out not to take a ride.

I put my jacket down for five minutes…

“Why are you like this?” I dunno, but I’m pretty sure this movie had something to do with it.

Clutch: A band that answers the question “What would blues music for aliens sound like if it were just steakhouse riffs played through a manual transmission?”

Sometimes self care is shutting your brain down and watching something dumb, but fun.

Since I see a lot of these “what were you like in the 90s” clips with photos mostly centered around the Cobain era, I figured I’d add my own…

Shoutout to the boys for summing up a movie that lives on the shelf of every local thrift store in this area.

If you haven’t seen Nathan Fillion square off against a super mutated Michael Rooker, you’re missing out.

Started medical transition four years ago today. I’d call this a glow up.

I feel like I need to add this to my deck…

There’s no feeling quite like returning to work after a vacation with a fresh sense of disdain for your job…

“Hell’s waking up every goddamn day and not even knowing why you're here. But I'm out now. It took someone who was kind to me getting killed to do it. But I'm out. And I know exactly what I'm gonna do.”

The government says I’m a threat to society. Meanwhile, I’m licking the peanut butter off the foil seal like some kind of excited puppy because I bought the entire jar of peanut butter so I’m gonna eat the entire jar of peanut butter.

The weather down here has been incredible!

“It’s good knowing he’s out there. The Dude. Takin’ ‘er easy for all us sinners.”

Just cleaning the house and letting the YouTube algorithm decide the music and it’s just going through every Days N Daze video… Now I’m a depressed mid-twenties burnout with a hangover and a death wish again.

If you got some extra scratch, donate it!

I have survived another trip around the sun and have decided that that will continue to be y’all’s problem.

All the news about Shia LeBeouf being in New Orleans this week reminded me that this fuggin movie exists…

When I was a fifteen year old boy, this movie ruled. Now, as a 33 year old woman, this movie still rules!

Y’all ever see a cyclops blep?

Inside you are two wolves. One wants a run away rock n roll romance like in Wild at Heart or True Romance. The other just wants to beheld and told she’s pretty. Both really want a snakeskin jacket… Or maybe that’s all just me.

Shoutout to my guitar player for lending me a copy of one of my new favorite movies… Don’t ask how I missed this for over thirty years… Shit happens.

Just so we’re clear: Bruce Wayne would absolutely be in the Epstein Files.

Sorry I’m late. My cats were super snuggly this morning and I didn’t want to get out of bed.

James Van Der Beek has passed.