Is he posing? I don’t understand lmao

Been feeling pretty good this week. Hoping it's a trend that will last a while.

Just made my arrangements for my cremation and burial. Picking the headstone later this week. Sh*t is getting real.

Bringing some Christmas to my room in the CEHHC's Palliative Care unit. Brett and the kids decorated the tree for me. #CancerSucks #ChristmasDoesNotSuck

Met with the doctor earlier. We are now taking things week by week, not month by month. That was really fucking hard to hear. I could die before the one year anniversary of my diagnosis. #CancerSucks #VulvarCancer

We need to stop protecting predators.

Back in the hospital Pain management Yay........no yay Everyone is wonderful, but c'mon! This is my fifth stay this year -- twice at the VG and third time at CEHHC.

One of the kids is playing hooky today so she can go shopping with me and a couple of friends. Sometimes, making memories is more important than school.

So much pain these days. #CancerSucks #VulvarCancer

**** RCMP Release UPDATE: Missing man located deceased The 47-year-old man who was reported missing from Clarksville and last seen on November4 has been located deceased. At this time, the death is not believed to be suspicious in nature. The investigation is ongoing.

Blood transfusions today. Happy to report the coffee at the CEHHC is pretty good. The cookies are delicious!

Livy likes to have family meetings. The rest of us have other feelings on that.

If you're interested in my cancer journey through the NS healthcare system and missed last night's Global newscast, here's a link: globalnews.ca/news/1150824...

A story on my vulvar cancer journey through the healthcare system will air tonight, during Global's 6 pm newscast I hope I made sense

Trying out VON's frozen meal program next week.

Bad pain day. #CancerSucks

A reporter from Global is coming this afternoon to do a story on my cancer journey and help spread awareness of vulvar cancer. I hope it goes well. As in I hope I don't mess it up and make a fool of myself.

Doing some planning for when I pass. Depressing af but necessary. And it's weird. I don't feel like I should be calling about buying a plot and picking a funeral home to oversee my cremation. It's very weird. And sad. And it makes me angry because I'm only 45 and won't see my kids grow up.

Kids had a Halloween party with a few of their friends.

No more treatments. The oncologist says they could do me more harm than good. For example, increase my risk of infection in the open wound in my right groin. The treatments didn't slow the cancer at all -- it actually grew and spread. Still, it was tough to take in. #CancerSucks

The mini Twix are tasting even better than usual. I've eaten so many little bars haha #HalloweenCandy

Had fun decorating pumpkins, put on by the Little Yellow Truck Flower Company, at Blake's Pumpkin Jungle in Masstown. I matched my pumpkin a little too well haha

I want more time with him. #CancerSucks

Bacon, eggs and toast. Can never go wrong with breakfast for supper.

When you have cancer, your husband doesn't even blink when the unknown-priced box of 90 Cadbury chocolate bars goes into the shopping cart. Doesn't question it. At all.

Annual family pic with the giant hay/straw bear at Blake's Pumpkin Jungle

1/2 I am so lucky to have Brett. He goes to every appointment, helps me keep on track with my meds, helps take care of me, and has taken over almost all household duties. But I've never had to ask. Not once.

Got out to the farmers' Market this morning. We'll be having both pumpkin and strawberry pie for Thanksgiving dinner desserts, plus an apple crisp. Could be my last one, so I not skimping on dessert haha

Brett makes the best grilled cheese.

CT scan shows the cancer has spread. It's now in two spots in bones in my back, three spots in lymph nodes in my chest & the mass around my aorta in my pelvis has grown, which the doctor says could be causing the pain I've been having. The doctor's educated guess is I have less than a year. Fuck.

Phone appointment with Halifax this morning. Should get results of last week's CT scan and maybe a game plan for future treatments. I hope the CT scan shows shrinkage of the cancer. I just really want good news.

Sent my daughter into a store for Oreos. She came out with Oreo Thins. I don't know what to do with them. I'm a double-stuffed gal. These are so incredibly thin. Can't even taste the creme.

Trying to pull off a Halloween party for the kiddos. 16 kiddos, including my brother's crew. I hope I don't regret this haha

Married the Brettster 15 years ago today. We don't know how many more anniversaries we get together, but I treasure every moment with this man. He's my biggest supporter, my rock. And I'll do what I can with this friggin' cancer to get as much time with him as I can.

Bad pain day #VulvarCancer #CancerSucks

Brett had an appointment this morning and I'm feeling pretty good today so I did up the dishes and he can now come home to an empty sink and tidied kitchen. He does practically everything around the house and has since I began treatment. He does so much and takes care of me, so I help when I can.

Chemo & immuno therapies tomorrow, along with another blood transfusion I've lost track of how many transfusions I've had haha #VulvarCancer #CancerSucks

Making a ham dinner today I always have more energy when I plan these things than when it's time to do the thing haha

I cannot get enough of the peaches from yesterday's farmers' market.

This year's Gravenstein apples may be the best I've had.

Spent some time at the Truro Farmers' Market this morning -- everything was so fresh and beautiful

I won a set of airpods. Yay for Brett! I don't use 'em haha

The hardest part of having cancer is my body is no longer mine. It doesn't function how it used to. It doesn't look the way it used to. It doesn't feel the same as it used to. Even through the nightmare of radiation and the excruciating pain, feeling like an outsider in my own body is the worst.

Crab apple jelly is so pretty and tasty

Made crab apple jelly today. Hopefully it turns out well because I am exhausted.

Cooked my crab apples last night, allowing them the overnight hours to drain the juice off them for making jelly later today. Going to make a roast chicken dinner later, too Today is a good energy day 🙂

First day of Grade 3! #BackToSchool

Kiddos had a 'meet the teacher' before school begins tomorrow and learned both of their besties will be in their class this year, so they are super excited about starting Grade 3!

Second consecutive morning I've been sick. Chemo hitting me a little harder this time. #CancerSucks

Had a craving for garlic fingers, so I got some from Rudy's. They may be the best I've ever had.