Ella Fitzgerald sings the Jimmy Buffett song book

after two days of playing the long game the cat is now completely unprepared for a me to betray her trust and scoop her up like a Precious Little Baby

laid low by hubris (food processor blade)

fair's fair, if there isn't the will to return it to the Tappan Zee the bridge should just be named after whoever's the father of the current governor what's Kathy Hochul's daddy's name?

I'm a mature enough person now to support other people's enjoyment of wicked, but the heart hates what the heart hates

Watch Out, today im Living Extravagantly (turned up the thermostat two degrees so I don't fall asleep because I'm sitting under blankets)

Generación Zeta is so much more pleasant and dignified than 'gen z'

two months in and I still type my old password into my laptop first every time that's true love

they snuck some god damn Pink Ladies in with my bag Braeburn Apples food safety is at an all time low in this country!

sometimes it's fun to search the joke you just made; I actually think my version of this one is slightly better that the hundreds of others that popped up

a new left conspiracy theory that Zyn was so named to suppress the seo of The People's History of the United States

it really sucks that maintaining good healthy habits actually does make you feel better, I don't want to do all that

live look at me right now

'maracas' is one of the great words

I'm really enjoying the Mountain Goat's luscious percussion sounds era

I like how appliances now all sing little songs to let you know they're done but I need their leitmotif's to be more distinctive and maybe complement each other a little better

I'm happy for Rosalía though, or sorry that happened, but I'm not listening to all that again

I, of course, support all musical theater kids right to express themselves through art, from a distance

ohhh the new Rosalía album is going to be some eurovision shit

I forgot to rinse the dregs out of my mug from last night and now I'm drinking lemon ginger coffee; it's not bad, but it is weird

until leaving New England I just assumed everybody had apple opinions

I really should read The Ethics of Ambiguity based on the number of times I've thought about it's wikipedia entry

'next year, in Atlantic time'

one day we will overthrow this Cruel and Wicked system (eastern standard time)

[trying out a new bit to see if I want to adopt it] actually we need to make the umps worse and more error prone. . . to combat sports gambling

it's bleak as hell that this is how dark it's going to be when we get out of work next week

it'd take a little reworking but you could definitely sing the words to Annabel Lee over the music to Stagger Lee

the stock image jpeg of the sky was objectively a terrible logo but that's what made it so good, they should bring it back

art museums always list stuff as having some important religious purpose and meanwhile 99% of the people with a skeleton in their yard right now would say "I don't know I just like him, he's a spooky little guy"

just used my kershaw 1660 pocket knife to divide the blueberry macaroon tart I got at the farmers market in half so I don't eat too many calories this is what the edc people preach about, you need to stay ready

the thing about people complaining about how folks overdo media criticism nowadays is that literally in third grade I remember complaining to my mom that the Time for Kids they had us read in class were too pro Bush administration this is my authentic self I was always insufferable

at some point soybeans are going to be like crude oil in q2 2020 where the commodity traders are going to be paying *me* to take the tofu off their hands, right?

there has to be a better alternative to the inglorious bastards three fingers meme where you don't cast yourself in the role of a nazi

I'm a modern man, I'm my own trad wife

Zohran Mamdani is such important representation for millennial men who Still Have A Full Head Of Hair but that line is pushing further and further up that forehead

the phoenician scheme wasn't one of my favorites but I have noticed that 'cover the gap' has entered my lexicon

this is also the perfect vector for scammers

just saw a man in a quarter zip attempting to secure a box spring to the top of his bmw 4 series using nothing but braided leather belts strung together

truly I tell you, when you were younger, you used to tighten your belt and walk wherever you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will tighten your belt, and bring you where you do not want to go (outside when it's below 50°)

putting away Childish Things (summer weight button ups and short sleeve polos)

waking up at 3 in the morning and frantically googling: Perchik/Hodel grooming discourse

if I was a wealthy man I really would just biddy biddy bum all day long

something I probably need to investigate in myself is the amount of pleasure I take unraveling hours and hours of work to go back and fix a single missed stitch

when I read it in my head I always pronounce it 'epi-tome'

I think Col. Lockjaw's music was supposed to be a play on the wicked witch of the west but I also may just be completely off base with that

who will be a bad enough dude to screen my One Battle After Another and Finding Nemo double feature?

watching One Battle After Another in 4dx (next to a latino dad with his feet up and his 16 year old daughter who kept asking him questions about what was happening)

is it more ethical for a museum to repatriate a shrunken head to the tribe they were a member of or to the tribe who captured it?

the guys who converted catholicism to complete their Autocracy, and Nationality really should have just stuck with Russian Orthodoxy, the patriarch of moscow would never let them down like the chicago pope

modern detergents are indistinguishable from magic