Give this thing nothing but pineapple to eat and let me suck that lacroix pussy juice while she sits on my face and all will be right in my world. #pokemon #gamefreak #nintendo #scolipede

I wish I was a 5'6 femboy with an 11' cock and a sex drive that could kill a pornstar, unfortunately I am a chopped fat white boy with a small dick, we all want what we can't have ig

I be at the bodily fluid vending machine sucking back straight girlcum like its eggnog #Beastmode

I want to relax but I can't have weed because it makes me groggy the next day so I don't sleep well but I can't have caffeine because it makes me wired so I'm stressed and I want to relax bu tI can't have weed becau

I might be bisexual but I'm employed rn so idk about that

Need a girl who will make me whimper for her

Is it really that, time, again? It seems as if you only just arrived.

I need a stacked thick chick with the black lip gloss to suck the autism out of my johnson so hard I bust and immediately shapeshift into a 40 year old trade worker whose only social media is facebook and rides a boat on weekends

Anytime I see a #marvelrivals clip it does not make me want to play the game. It makes me want to bend venom over and eat his ass while strokin him from the back, idk thats just me tho

I must have some ancient Greek genes in my bloodline because I can't stop getting hung up on femboys and BBWs

Is there a reason why huskies always looked cracked out and tweaking

When I say motherfuckers don't gym like I do, I mean it. Chatting up girls and barely working, meanwhile I'm over here on sixth gear melting like a fucking popsicle. This shit saved my life and I don't take it for granted

Cr1tikal voicing a character in dispatch is crazy win for that community because they have like 10+ years of voicelines to make fan content with. If you wanted people to see sonar talk about EDP or how he was an extra on the hunger games you can do that

I wish I grew up with gay/bi twink friends so I could get into close knit heartfelt fagslop situations and have an excuse to get drunk and make out w/ them

The nagging desire to be the victim of a clueless white woman fujoshi while drunk off my ass at a bar who has me go make out with a smooth twink in the washroom so I can get her number

Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. Mommy? sorry. M

Replayed chapter 2 and #kralsei is going to get me through the next two weeks at least

If a woman older than me called me "darling" in a romantic way I'd fold so hard they would hear my spine snapping on the fucking ISS

Tall alt femboy bf and his subby chew toy golden retreiver musclesub bf

Every NIN song is like "You've got a hole I need to fill. Let me fill your hole. Deep inside you animal hole" *stanky ass synth riff*

I NEED a barky sangheili bf who will let me clean inbetween his toes with my mouth after he was on patrol all day #halo #bungie #marathon

*On jurassic park* "Wtf where did that guy go, he was in the buggy like 5 minutes ago" Meanwhile me in the velociraptor enclosure:

I took one look at the energy crisis and realized there's a cheap and easy solution: hook a generator up to Kubrick's body in his grave and watch 2001 on my second monitor while playing fortnite

I had a vision #smilingfriends #kirby #shitpost

Just finished 2 seasons of #helluvaboss, good lord I would treat him so well

I would breed him so hard you have no idea, good lord that mask is making things happen inside me.... #Transformers

I need a hot girl to kill me

All of the slutty B1 battledroid fanart that is coming out is getting me some kinda way.

Getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow morning, if I seem out of it yk why

#Deltarune in one week

40-year old woman past menopause and a 19-year old guy with a breeding kink, the perfect couple

How do I tell this girl that I'm seeing that I want her to bite my neck like she's a lion tearing the throat out of a gazelle

Playing Infinite Warfare rn, and WOW they queerbaited the fuck out of Ethan and Reyes. I need Ethan bouncing and moaning on it ngl

Fat fuck (affectionate)

No fucking way, the pope is getting in the ring

xcancel.com my beloved

Word of advice to all web designers out there: making your platform severely limited/completely blocked for anyone without an account isn't going to motivate anyone to create an account. It's going to drive people to your competitors. Twitter, I'm talking about twitter.

BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN SAY MY NAME HAS THE MEMORY GONE ARE YOU FEELING NUMB

"I can't keep doing this" *Continues to do it*

disregard that previous post, I would love and adore Margaret Hamilton (the software engineer, not the actress)

I'd fuck the shit out of Margaret Hamilton ngl (the software engineer, not the actress)

Everybody wants an anthro wolf GF until she gives you rabies :/

Emperor Plapatine be like: execute order 69

Right winger watching "Cuties": wtf this is disgusting Left winger watching "Cuties": wtf this is disgusting Guy who's only watched "Son of The Mask": this is just like son of the mask

*Open internet browser* *Open search history* "What is a Kromer" "USD to Kromer conversion rate" "Urban dictionary big shot" "Urban dictionayr [[BIG SHOT]]" "How to spot a crooked salesman" "Pipis egg what is" "Mike 1997" "How to call audit ons omeone"

*On the pec fly machine* I have GOT to get bigger titties

small_dom_big_sub my beloved

HOOOOOLLLLLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!1!!!!!111!!!!!!1!!!!