utahraptor! i know this will only hurt me after I'm dead, and yet somehow, I think it's hurting me right now??? www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

you can't say you'd get used to them because they're giant skeletons with angry eyes!! and if that doesn't convince you, maybe i can remind you that these are giant DINOSAUR skeletons?? check and mate www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

are we to shorten it even further, to "Halloween", without the apostrophe? no, you'll pry that contraction marker from my cold dead hands... which is, at least, on theme www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

this is why true pros go on "hikes", which are walks in wilderness areas where there aren't any stores so you can't buy ANYTHING and can also sometimes DIE www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

okay teeth are probably worth it but COME ON www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

anyway bottom line is i do NOT have experience with successfully getting away with charismatic high-profile heists, so let's all look into someone else before even CONSIDERING me qwantz.com/index.php?co...

Timmy is BACK and ALMOST ON SCHEDULE qwantz.com/index.php?co...

throw in a killer robot, a mamma's boy, and a sprinkle of mean girls, and we are in BUSINESS www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

my new calendar presupposes earth's orbit has been adjusted from the old style (the planet taking a full 365.2422 days to complete a single orbit around sun) to the new style (a comfortable yet zippy 7) www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

*scarf* it's for science, so i can *om nom nom* like them a NORMAL AMOUNT www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

IT'S LIKE SENDING A LINK, BUT MORE WORK www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

the best unpopular opinions make everyone mad but nobody hurt: a truly victimless crime www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

utahraptor pay a guy to fix it. utahraptor you have to pay a guy when you mess up real bad qwantz.com/index.php?co...

as the saying will soon go: in the land of the omni-blind, the double-blind man is king qwantz.com/index.php?co...

We deserve and demand a special zone to be scrubbed clean in by patient machines, and I dare say it's criminal we are denied. www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

when a story sounds THIS good, you have to say "oh shit" www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

Here's the sticker on T-Rex's computer (10 minutes in Inkscape)

this comic brought to you by Dinosaur Comics brand dinosaur comics www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

"what you say with irony i say with sincerity" is a paraphrase of captain picard talking to q. but you are always allowed to paraphrase captain picard talking to q; it's always morally correct www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

twinkle twinkle little star, i'll just wait qwantz.com/index.php?co...

personally i love to chow down on what is effectively just a straight-up bowl of cottage cheese. yeah baby, hop in, we're going full Muffet on our cheesemaking byproducts tonight www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

mistakes were made... or WERE they www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

EASY SOLUTION: age the baby up and give them a job at sea. it'll be like taking candy from a matey qwantz.com/index.php?co...

the one thing you need to know about chocochops is that they're great. the other thing is that they're chocolate pork chops with a real pork chop bone www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

let's use the alphabet... TO RATE THE ALPHABET?? www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

"what if it feels like it's real but it's fake??" okay what if it feels like it's veal but it's cake. WHAT IF?? qwantz.com/index.php?co...

ALSO I HAVE MANY SPECIFIC COMMENTS ON YOUR RANKINGS THAT I HAVE COMPILED INTO THIS 200,000 WORD TEXT FILE / IT IS ABRIDGED www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

yeah, i'll skip the cold ones, thanks. hey - you got any ones that are the precise same temperature as my guts? www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

i just want to look out the window and mutter "nice weather for snakes", is that too much to ask www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

I HAVE OFFICIALLY FORGOTTEN IT, SORRY NORMOS qwantz.com/index.php?co...

not to mention her mad drip and endless always-on aura farming qwantz.com/index.php?co...

i hereby resolve to not read wikipedia to find out how this ends www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

weenahol is a controlled substance by and for weens www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

After 16 years of leaving T-Rex's caption spot open I decided to have Gage Young at Burial Tattoo in Everett, WA put a QR code there. I know it won't work forever, when the time comes I can black it out for a night mode T-Rex, or just keep it because it looks rad. cc @ryannorth.ca

i am utterly taken with the idea of removing "discovered x" from my vocabulary and replacing it with "invented learning what an X is" www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

i call this world THIN AIR WORLD, and i call our world MEAN WORLD - but like, in the mathematical sense of mean. it's average, it's FINE www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

i experience emotions in 24 bits, which is to say, i always feel one of 16,777,216 different ways. AND THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH FOR ANYONE www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

you never appreciate boring until the day things simply refuse to stop being Not Boring www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

age-old debates and the settling thereof www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

what about the other trojan animals. what were their trojan giraffes used for? what were the trojan hippos up to www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

to THINK there was ever a MOMENT i doubted being tucked in by my SASSY ROBOT BUTLER www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

sorry but if you want me to live in your world don't be surprised if i start kicking the tires. also, in this metaphor, worlds have tires www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

like many in today's society, i HAVE been meaning to catch up on my calmness www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

it's FINE, it's probably FINE www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

some flabbers are overdue for a gasting; i don't know what to tell you www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

a crime happened ON them? TO them? ABOUT them? how specifically do crimes happen on or about parents www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

"don't count your chickens before they hatch" - fewer and fewer people are keeping chickens these days! but "don't count your regret-free preorders before they arrive" truly is universal www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

SCIENCE CORNER: technically rocks can't yearn for anything, up to and including the gentle touch of meat www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

You have made one (1) mistake. Turn to page 154 to learn from it, or turn to page 302 to instantly start fantasizing about aliens ending it all. www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

can you truly call yourself a fan of a genre if you haven't read every single instance of it across all of recorded history?? www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...