i'd imagine it seems like MOST people hate growing hair, given how often we shave it, cut it, or destroy it with actual lasers??? qwantz.com/index.php?co...

i'd tell you to walk it off, but you don't know how to walk, so - crawl it off! oh, no crawling yet either? uh... roll it off? qwantz.com/index.php?co...

yes mr. and mrs. flies decided to name their baby "thyme", what of it? it pairs nicely with his brother "horse" qwantz.com/index.php?co...

and i don't have to tell you this, but when that happens in a matter/antimatter intermix chamber it's not great qwantz.com/index.php?co...

i too am hard to use and gorgeous to look at. do i apologize? i do not. qwantz.com/index.php?co...

given the small size of our field we're also the worst there is at what we do, but we like to focus on the positive qwantz.com/index.php?co...

how often are you getting pizza pie thrown into your eyes, dean? dean. dean i just wanna know why you assumed that was a universal experience www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

could the ultimate experience of flesh TRULY be made manifest before me? forsooth, by mine own actions?? qwantz.com/index.php?co...

I'm sending out an update to my SECRET PALS mailing list today - it's free, it's got secrets, AND it's got dog pics?? Wow that sounds GREAT: secretpals.beehiiv.com/subscribe

friends, romans, third type of guy: lend me your ears qwantz.com/index.php?co...

sherlock put on a hamburger costume and deduced it felt all wrong for him. he was a polish sausage costume guy or he was NOTHING qwantz.com/index.php?co...

look, we ALL wish there was more to life than sprinting through museums as fast as possible, but that is really all there is qwantz.com/index.php?co...

NOW what am i supposed to do with all these 76-gram candles made of pure sperm whale oil?? qwantz.com/index.php?co...

whenever a character in a movie looks through binoculars they should see that old-timey silent film train racing towards them, and THEN, according to KULESHOV, when they lower their binoculars we'll all get to see a reaction to that train. filmic art, baby qwantz.com/index.php?co...

meet a thousand babies and only four of them will be suckers! this is good news for anyone whose life has - perhaps through no fault of their own - brought them to circumstances in which they must now absolutely meet one thousand babies qwantz.com/index.php?co...

i have some "regrets" qwantz.com/index.php?co...

getting hate mail from a dog is ruff, ruff, ruff qwantz.com/index.php?co...

the gun-powered mousetrap is precisely the sort of invention you get when you have WAY too many guns and WAY too many mice qwantz.com/index.php?co...

There can never be too many words on a shirt. In fact we would argue there aren't ENOUGH words on shirts these days; don't give me one word, give me several sentances!!!! Reading is good for the soul!!! 📖 Topa.to/shirts 👕

t-rex's fifth sentence in panel three is my affirmation in the mirror every single morning qwantz.com/index.php?co...

in the final analysis we really should've had more blue things lying around in panel five before we tried this, but it's too late for that now! it's over 23 years too late for that now!! qwantz.com/index.php?co...

t-rex goes to the gym one (1) time qwantz.com/index.php?co...

imagine beethoven, but with a sick drop. but be careful because i started doing that once and now i can't stop imagining beethoven but with a sick drop qwantz.com/index.php?co...

to answer your question, yes, he brought utahraptor to his doctor's appointment. that's what friends do for each other www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

we don't know how to swim and we don't know how to not poop our pants every time. being a baby is mortifying and you can't even explain yourself qwantz.com/index.php?co...

whether or not crows evolved into existence in a day will be of CRITICAL importance later, but by then it will be far too late www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

ladies, gentlemen... it is my pleasure to introduce to you: your new craving www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

Coffee Comics qwantz.com/index.php?co...

where do i get my ideas? easy. i think "well, time to have an idea" and then i pick my absolute favourite from the cornucopia that presents itself qwantz.com/index.php?co...

agreement corner has VERY harsh punishments for disagreements, and we all find ourselves forced to agree: they're tough, but fair www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

sorry Allen Ginsberg, sorry, i'm trying to delete it www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

tick tock, motherlover qwantz.com/index.php?co...

allegedly not doing stupid things saves us all from dying. you heard it here - well, i was going to say "first" but hopefully this is NOT the first time you're hearing "not doing stupid things can prevent dying." if it is, well heck better late than never!! qwantz.com/index.php?co...

ostracization SOUNDS like it's the process of slowly being turned into an ostrich, but it really just means being excluded from a group. i guess there's two types of ostracization and only one of them is good. qwantz.com/index.php?co...

his li'l bro is named Li'l Challenges. Sanrio hit me up, my arms are overflowing with AMAZING CHARACTERS here qwantz.com/index.php?co...

panel 6 t-rex is breaking the streak of all the other even-numbered panel t-rexes by saying something other than "what". and if he hadn't, the comic would've still worked... PRETTY WELL?? www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

t-rex in: no no no, no more mistakes, only correct things all the time forever and ever!!! please please please qwantz.com/index.php?co...

this comic inspired by my dog's freeze-dried cheese treats that are just normal cheese that's been freeze-dried and honestly pretty great if you love the flavour of cheese but have always craved an added freeze-dried CRUNCH www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

gareth 2000 is much improved over gareth 1999 www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

i'm so DISTRESSED at being NOT THE BEST / though my accidental rhymes still pass the TEST www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

it's always good to make new friends! qwantz.com/index.php?co...

and when you throw in a "pretend relationship" tag for the dlc? whoa mamma qwantz.com/index.php?co...

the backstory here is that t-rex drank a potion (it was cranberry juice cut with The Powder That Makes You Young) qwantz.com/index.php?co...

this comic is brought to you by uncontacted peoples. they're allowed to contact YOU but you can't say anything back to THEM; i don't make the rules i just enforce them www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

most art was created by the dead, but then again, so were most mistakes www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

i'm picking up a lot of green flags qwantz.com/index.php?co...

Chris Doppler, or "CD" for short, sadly never went by "CD" for short. www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

we're still inventing new shapes!! babies keep having to learn new shapes, and in this case WE'RE BABIES!! www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

other philosopher's books are too big, so i'm just gonna summarize them. also, i'm not going to read them first so that way you know my summaries are completely unbiased qwantz.com/index.php?co...

We can't even say for sure that the meaning of life isn't to get smushed by an asteroid. i'm gonna go lie down, and then i'm gonna write one HELL of a got dang treatise qwantz.com/index.php?co...