allen falling down the stairs

Took a few days' break from the animation/animatic to draw this. Weird to think it's been exactly six months since I last spoke with J. I wish I had thought of a better conversation topic. I miss you, man.

Past-self owes current-self an apology for making me commit to this animation/animatic. Current-self owes future-self an apology for being stubborn and sticking with it. Future-self is deaf and will commit to another project. I am in debt to myself and inept to everyone else

I accept that I'm in a low point in my life. Maybe I lost friends this year, and maybe I've lost interest in the things that used to bring me joy, and maybe I'm not good at the things I want to be good at, but I can take solace in the fact that I've been given the opportunity to have those feelings

I

It's funny how quickly your friends turn on you once you change your Discord profile picture to Chuck from The Angry Birds Movie

We've hit 3 weeks of total sustained pressure. you're doing great. im proud of you. if you havent joined in yet, can you do at least one call a day for me? even starting with just one will continue to help us! let's keep going!

Should've just rotoscoped these stairs. Oh well. At least I'll be able to brag about how everything was drawn by eye when this half-decent animatic/animation project that's taking way too long gets finished

Called Visa for the second time about the whole "forcing the delisting of adult content" thing. They were not happy with me, judging by the tone/volume of their voice. Mastercard, on the other hand, actually seemed pretty happy to hear from me. I was joking with the representative and everything

Slowly but surely working away at this animatic/animation thing. Work is sapping all my energy, but I'm forcing myself to draw through it. Here's some Zangoose I drew while procrastinating on drawing the stuff that actually needs drawing. Some are good, some are bad. You have the right to see them

grumble grumble

I suppose I'll celebrate my victories when I get them. My first week at my new job went by without any hiccups. Everyone there seems to have faith in my ability to do well, despite the fact that I haven't done much yet. This is another expectation I'll have to manage. Don't let it bog me down, me

Perhaps I should simply never talk with any of my friends so that I don't risk losing them by opening my big mouth and saying stuff I immediately regret. ...quite the catch-22, huh?

I think I got so caught up with all the friends I lost this year that I forgot about the really cool people I still have in my life. No way I would've come out of my university-induced slump if it wasn't for all of them. I should stop taking things for granted and be content with my given hand

Time for another carnaltwin failure update. Spent three hours drawing sketch frames for an animation today, only to trash them all because I hated the way they looked. The only progress I made was this frame, and I still hate the way it looks. Another blunder for the collection

The number one thing I'm most insecure about regarding my art is the speed at which I make it—I'm slow as molasses. This directly contradicts with one of the main things I like about art: it encourages you to slow down. I hope this will go away as I get more comfortable with the things I draw

Felt like drawing @kally.bsky.social 's jackalope. Not entirely happy with the pose but it is what it is

I think my life has changed more drastically over these last few months than it has for the past five years. My white knuckles are getting tired, but I believe they'll hold

shout out to this guy for shocking me so bad i came out of my cryptid era

Hey everyone. TL:DR is I'm asking for donations / help with sponsorship tasks since I need to take some time away from streaming due to what feels like an imminent mental health crisis.

Scene from a novella I wrote. I'd like to draw illustrations for each chapter, though I fear I may go insane before then

Looking at other people's art is such a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it gives me the inspiration to want to make cool things. On the other hand, it makes me feel like I'll never even get close to being as good as others, especially seeing the speed at which other people can pump out art

Snapped a few nights ago and spent ninety minutes drawing various snouts to try and understand their shape. I still don't, but it looks kinda cool so here you go. Another proud failure to add to the collection

Another day, another hour spent failing to draw a hand

Cairo decided to test their luck using a new dating app targeted for goo creatures/enthusiasts. He didn't expect to see BOOBS on his feed

So, the animation/animatic/whatever the heck is completely done, but I'm waiting on a friend to do a few little sounds for it. I promise I'm not being lazy

Gotta finish this little animation by the end of the week, or else my self-worth will deplete completely

I think my recent despondency is making me stupid and/or more aware of my stupidity

I realize that I'm probably going to need to download a new video editor to export this animation I'm working on, as my current editor won't export past 720p. Yet another hurdle for this project to leap over, but it ain't stopping me

"...and if the mist ever lets the sun through, I'll just hope I did the right thing for me and you." Ween - It's Gonna Be (Alright)

My past self needed nobody but himself to be happy. My current self is simultaneously disappointed and envious of him

No matter how emotionally unstable I become, my brain will always find the goofiest stuff to conjure up for my melatonin dreams. Last night I was hunted through my university's town by killer McDonald's cheeseburgers that could outrun any human. Anyway here's a Puro

I have no desire to appear perfect. I want everyone to know that it took over two hours for me to create a simple thumb-swiping animation, one that isn't even cleaned up and/or finalized yet. If comparison is the thief of joy, then imperfection is a protest against misery

I need to have better Discord conversations

Burned another bridge with a friend of many years this morning. Guess I'm molting

Maybe our two gooey dudes can become friends...? 👉👈 @justvantablack.bsky.social