#artsandstabs those coasters ain´t gonna deliver themselves hehehe

When you know you gotta poo and you can feel it deep inside, but your body says no so you have to really push it out to the point of getting a bit lightheaded because you know you'll suffer later if you don't deal with it now... Yeah... That's true suffering.

I'm more or less an open book about everything, so that which I do not talk about will haunt me to my grave. I don't get to heal because I was the one who caused the pain.

Snippet with Reefling tentacles. #artsandstabs

With you, everything's alright. You're my light. #artsandstabs ✂️💔

I may be sick as a dog right now, but I love Mercy Modiste soooooo much💜💜💜 She's so strong and smart and funny and everything I could ever want in this world!!! She always makes me happy and she's the light of my life MWAH MWAH MWAH

Oh... I've hit that depression nothing interests you and things make you actively uninterested just by existing. Hello darkness, my old friend.

I know this is one of those moments where I'm probably getting lost in the sauce. I KNOW I'm not owed ANYTHING, but I still get to feel like something I kept holding out hope for for MONTHS was kind of ignored. I know that's exceptionally selfish and borderline rude (maybe it even is).

One day Mercy is gonna see my name on some big, important project and she's gonna be so proud of what I've made of myself!

Today I went to my first protest. It was peaceful and awe-inspiring. However, going into it, I knew that one bad actor could change everything. That's a scary thought. What gave me courage, though, was what I wore and what I had on me. Thank you for helping me stand up for what I believe in.

It's such a strange feeling visiting a community you used to be a part of and just being ignored by the people around you. I know for a fact that a handful don't like me, but there's just nothing. I'm not being made unwelcome, but it feels like there's stuff being left unsaid.

I'm losing hope for a last minute announcement for a Mercy M&G at one of the booths at OffKai... BIIIIG sadge

I never realized just how much Mercy yelps and screams until I started editing this clip.

Mercy #artsandstabs

Been working on what is undoubtedly my best work over the last few weeks. It's pretty much the exact sound I've always been aiming for, but never quite reached before. One of the few times I've written something that really makes me *FEEL* the emotions of the song. Can't wait for everyone to see!!

On a better note, the drummer for Hail the Sun (the original band) saw the cover and apparently loved it! Made my day hearing that on Friday!! Overall, it's been a great weekend!!

Oh... I'm suddenly in immense pain from the show on Friday. Yesterday was ok, but not today. Also, for some reason there are very suddenly roaches in my house. Found two on my ceiling, one in the bathroom sink (which was clean), and one in the kitchen sink (also clean) over the last two-ish weeks.

Apparently the drummer for Hail the Sun saw our cover of their song and liked it. Yeah, that was awesome to find out

Just .Ade the stupid decision to shop at Walmart midday on the Friday before memorial day while they were restocking. Anxiety is through the fucking roof

I thought I escaped the Star Wars special interest back in 2020 after CW season 7 finally got released. It had lasted 15+ years. I thought I was free. My YouTube watch history is suddenly telling me otherwise. THERE'S JUST SO MUCH INFO AND THINGS TO LEARN!!!

Tomorrow at 6PM PST youtu.be/CUL9hD8aiAs?...

Day 8 of my 9-day workweek. Starting to feel the exhaustion.

Been speeding through a new cover/remix the last few days. Also got a vocalist for this one. Hoping to get it out before OffKai next month. If everything goes according to plan, it should. 🤞🤞🤞

Had the strangest dream last night. My family and I were basically set to be entombed as part of a massive time capsule on July 4th and it was all sanctioned by the government. As the date got closer, I tried to escape, but my family kept chasing me down because they believed the whole thing was

I propose that we do away with birthdays, mothers day, fathers day, and any other similar events. We only need one event per year to celebrate. Christmas, Hanukkah, etc should be the default instead. I only want to stress about trying to find gifts and buy cards once per year.

My collaborator has started vagueposting about the upcoming cover. Resisting the urge to rt it and possibly give it away is so hard!!!

Another random thing: My collection of soda can tabs I've collected since 2017

Did another one. Had this for like 2 years, so it's nice to finally get it out of the way.

Snippets trying to "Shear Up" Mercy You put in a lot of work Kouhai, and we're proud of you every day. The last week has been super rough, but we are here for you every step of the way to support you! Wish I could do more to help you however I can, so I threw this together. Love you💜💜 #artsandstabs

Hey, @mercy.vallu.re, I want you to know I love you no matter what you do or how you do it or ANYTHING. I know you're always pushing to do your best and that you are both my role model and inspiration! I think you're just amazing and I will continue to love you regardless of whatever happens!!

I couldn't sleep, but I had a ton of fun with the Ace Attorney stream! I tried making a goofy lil Mercy Edgeworth pic. #artsandstabs

I followed an agency VTuber before I went to sleep. When I woke up, they had followed me back. WTF... Is this what happens to you when you start taking things seriously????

Some days the meds just don't work. Some days shit happens and - even if those things seem small or stupid - the meds can't stop you from everything building up. I haven't felt this empty in a long while. I've felt a lot of overwhelming things, but feeling this hollow is something I'd forgotten.

Sleep Token have released new single Damocles.

Didn't get the AGM position. They were really nice about it and gave me plenty of constructive feedback. I'm fine with not getting it. It was why, though. Apparently I don't work enough in the gray. Even though that's what I've worked on my whole life. Haven't hated my autism in a long time.

Wait... Uh... Do I actually *like* being called "Sir"? It almost never happens. Huh. I'll have to reflect on this one... Wasn't even anything REMOTELY sexual. I was just taking a reservation over the phone ffs!!

Got the vocals back and I laughed because 1). You could hear more artifacts in the files; 2). It sounded no more human than mine did; and 3). They chose to tune to some different notes rather than the original. If it makes the vocalist feel better, I don't mind, it's their choice and their money. -

Sleep Token will release new single Damocles on Friday, April 25th.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it... All this autism watchlist stuff suddenly going on makes me anxious. I know history well (it was my favorite subject). I know it repeats itself. I didn't expect it could possibly be me this time.

Octavia is not having a Good Friday.

Finally finished this beast... 4,288 pieces. I will admit, it was almost mind-numbing at points. Very repetitive and the pieces are just so frickin tiny. Pain on the fingers if you have to squeeze bricks together. However, it's pretty. Worth doing just to say I did it.

Decided to play around with some physics, too. Snippets so squish #artsandstabs

Occasionally I'll see people taking pictures of the decals on the back of my car (lewd hololive stuff) from the car behind me. Always makes me smile. Maybe they like it, maybe they wanna laugh... Dunno. As long as it makes them happy it makes me happy too!

Playing with shaders and manifesting some relaxation for kouhai. (I didn't notice the decking got messed up until halfway through rendering T_T) #artsandstabs

Just since I had some pushback from *cough* CERTAIN members of the community, I just wanna go on record and say... Fuck unicorns and the toxicity they bring!! You can be as parasocial as you want, but you don't have to be an asshole about it and harass people.

Nothing is quite as effective at triggering a depressive episode as seeing someone you care about going through a terrible patch and then being unable to help them.

TFW you miss your wife, but she's shopping for a house so you can both be happier.

So, they didn't like the way I tuned their vocals (even I'll admit it was a bit rough since they aren't exactly a fantastic singer), but I tried again and actually made it sound fantastic. But they still said it sounded 'roboty'. I mean, the guy's really nice, but IDK what he wants. So, he's gonna

Going into an important meeting. Hoping to tell Mercy some good news soon if this goes well!!🤞🤞