It's absolutely pouring out. Nice January we're having here.

As a person who can only give an extremely useful gift, Maldon Salt is at the top of my list. So are the following: fire extinguishers, first aid kit, stamps, light bulbs, vanilla extract, good olive oil, firewood, emergency rations.

Anyone remember when department stores in, like, regular towns employed a whole armada of ladies to wrap your gifts for free?

In other news, enjoy this Illinois license plate in support of education. Zoom in!

How do any teenagers make it to adulthood? I just saw two high school students cruising down Foster Avenue on a Lime scooter holding a Domino's Pizza.

It's a good reminder to be super cool to the pharmacist. It's not their fault your deductible reset.

I signed up for a triathlon this summer. I have done many triathlons. Why did I forget that triathlons include running?

Sure I'm not the only CPS parent to realize that kids don't actually have school tomorrow.

Too bad the Sacklers weren't Venezuelan, I guess.

Is this Kelly Dodd from RHOC?

About to watch the Stranger Things finale. I don't know anything about this show, other than that there's a person called 11, bikes and a weird flower? And that the "Back in Chicago" singer is in it.

I have literally gone to every news news, station's website and all I find are outdated broadcasts or murder shows? Nothing is actually about Chicago New Year's Eve.

Strange question for the Chicago hive mind: The city is replacing my lead service line. Part of the deal is that I'm supposed to use some kind of water pitcher they provide because of sediment or whatever. However, I have a bidet that I have grown very fond of. Thoughts?

I was in line at Subway behind Corey Feldman and his gf when he ordered a cold cut combo.

Saw a Cybertruck painted what could be most charitably called "aged brine."

You know how you're watching a documentary about a famous dude who crashes out and gets it together, and you're thinking, "Hey, good for you, guy," and then his DECIDEDLY YOUNGER girlfriend comes onscreen and you're like, "Oh."

Are we really doing fireworks at midnight for Xmas? Do we really want to alert the neighborhood children to their parents frantically wrapping stuff?

I love, love watching 30 for 30 docs around Xmas.

I mean, measles and hepatitis aside, the HPV vaccine has been transformative for women's health. Doubt that's sticking around.

Lot of helicopters over the northwest side right now. Sheriffs parked off the Edens.

On sale at my local Mariano's.

People being very confused and shocked about why this lady got death threats do not understand betrayal trauma, and how this was a triggering incident for millions of people.

Why is Jon Ossoff sending me an email with "Can I explain?" like he's a boyfriend who got caught liking a thirst trap.

This storm just showed up, like someone taking a hose to my window.

This reminds me about how the city poured a new apron to our alley, but totally screwed up the height of said apron and now I am in constant danger of careening into my neighbor's garage doors.

About once a year, if you're lucky, you read a book you could wish you could scrub your brain out so you can read again fresh. This year, that's "The Time Ministry," by Kaliane Bradley.

Tammy Duckworth's office finally got back to me about that email I sent during the government shutdown. Thanks for the 2000-word blah blah blah.

What do we think of the Aldi ripoff version of Goodles?

Those air-powered hand dryers are violence and you cant convince me otherwise

One of life's true pleasures is putting on a pair of boots that have been sitting on the radiator for a few hours.

Just a normal Friday morning in which I bring in my fur coat from the porch where it has been airing out all night and the cup of water left out to capture the moon's energy.

You ever look at yourself in college and realize you were stunningly beautiful and how it would have changed the entire trajectory of your life if anyone had told you that even once?

If you were the bro dropping weights to whom I just screamed, "Jesus Christ," no, I'm not sorry.

These crappy unplowed sidewalks remind me of being 22, a Californian newly in Chicago, walking in wooden clogs. It's been 300 years and I've never figured it out.

I was reading some old columns that I wrote for GapersBlock years ago and chuckling. They're pretty good, although I used far too much profanity. The wild hubris of youth.

Just went to one of those tax appeal seminars through the county. It took like 5 minutes and I guess I don't want to pay these taxes is good enough reason to appeal?

Watch the plows here: plow-tracker-chicago.hub.arcgis.com

I had to turn off the AI thing on my Gmail and now my Gmail is a giant disaster. I already have 250,000 unread emails, what am I supposed to do?

Sending peace to anyone experiencing truly irritating high-conflict co-parent hijinks this holiday season.

How did Alexi Giannoulias and Co let through the license plate "GYATT"?

Forgot the meat thermometer, so looks like we're rolling some serious dice this year.

Ts and Ps to the family who told me their itinerary included the Walnut Room, Santa, Art Institute and the Museum of Ice Cream in a single day.

It's time to take the butter out of the fridge. But do not put it on the radiator.

You have not lived until you are searching a Jewel for the estrogen patch that fell out of your pocket and you find it in the parking lot.

Sitting at the doctor's office on my birthday and the receptionist just put on George Harrison, and it's like my mom just walked in the room, even though she's been dead for 15 years.

Jewel has a BOGO deal on Land O Lakes butter. Don't forget the butter.

You know how there's a famous person kind of from near your hometown and now you just refer to them as "Modesto's own Timothy Olyphant"?

Buddies, have you bought your Thanksgiving Day butter yet? You should.

I'm going to have to take the Starbucks app off of my phone because I have unintentionally scabbed twice.

Day two of topical chemo and I already want to scratch my face off, which is probably part of the whole thing. Wear sunscreen, people.