Literally every cop on the norrth side is going somewhere east of Albany Park.

You guys know there was a SpongeBob Squarepants Broadway musical? And the songs are all by famous musicians? And it's very good?

Can't stop thinking about Strangers by Belle Burden. I passed it along to a friend who wondered how she managed to have my exact same story, although I lacked the trust fund.

I hope Blue Sky took the time to eat fried stuff and catch up on Scamanda and start admitting openly they watch Bravo. Because I know you do, and the silence is making me miss Twitter.

Sure, the president wants to use every cent we have for the military, but my Jewel app is offering me a free pack of Necco wafers, the world's worst candy, so it's not all bad.

The only possible take on this.

I'm really excited that Trump is attending the Supreme Court hearing because I bet he's bored as hell.

Look I know everything is terrible, but this whole West, Amanda, and Ciara thing on Summer House is super gross.

I have to do a fair amount of research for my job and do you know what I'm never going to do? Cite an AI-drafted article.

I, too, love to be freed from work, so I can pursue my entrepreneurial goals while enjoying universal health care. Right, team? RIGHT? Perplexity CEO Aravind Srinivas: AI layoffs aren't so bad as 'most people don't enjoy their jobs' | Fortune share.google/ELKFkbdyulic...

Male Companion: The Pussycat Dolls was a supergroup of, like, famous female performers, right? Me: Like The Traveling Wilburys? MC: Yeah. Me: That's ... not true ... at all. Like at all.

Heard an elder Gen Xer bitching about ill-behaved kids these days and, reader, I couldn't help myself but talk about private equity in daycare, cost of living, and the overall war against parenthood.

Whoever invents a self cleaning version of the Bissell Little Green Machine is going to be a trillionaire.

Chicago people, what is happening here and how do I fix this? Did a pipe burst and how do I know which of the many levers I need to turn off?

Is bro talking about prima nocta?

Flight folks: how likely is it that flights from Ohio will be coming into O'Hare tonight? Planes have been canceled all day due to weather around O'Hare.

Him: Is this Bad Bunny? Me: It's Maroon 5.

Basement dehumidifier just roaring.

Looking for LCPC/LPC/LCMHC professionals for a very short virtual interview!

Looking for LCPC/LCP/LCMHC/LCC professionals!

I need to conduct a short interview with a licensed clinical mental health counselor regarding the nature of the profession. Any takers?

Like, months ago, I stood in line to appeal my property taxes, never heard anything again, and then got my same assessment. Which is exactly how I figured it would work.

Hey, is it time to schedule that preventative health care thing you've been putting off?

Ooh! Time to drink the cup of Moon water that I left out on the porch. I will be invincible today!

I paid $20 for a thing of shitty store-brand ground coffee. It will last like six days. Going to Sbux will cost $30. That's a weird opportunity cost.

Is there a version of that Mumford and Sons song about rage sung by women?

Finally saw a TV ad for someone other than Raja K.

At least Rubio looks ashamed all the time

Cool that he yelled at a disabled little girl to stand up.

I have never watched this person do this speech, but my kid is getting extra credit and I hate it

Is bro screaming into that mic?

You ever notice how some men smell like batteries?

This week's Summer House episode has a textbook example of DARVO. It's like a marriage and family therapy 101 class.

Today's a great day to collect your tax documents!

My garage door lock, like, broke? I honestly don't know how to approach this issue other than mix up a pitcher of Kool-Aid or invite a heavy metal band over.

Parents, where are we meeting up to do our kids' classroom Valentines? Did we get teacher flowers yet?

Betrayal is a matter of justice, a violation of consent. I can't think of much worse for a wayward partner to do than to once again violate that consent ... on int'l TV.

This week's "Summer House" is a perfect example of the "burnt-out pursuer" dynamic, for all you attachment theory fans.

I'm sure there's other people who save the wax from babybel cheese, right?

Oh wow, the season opener from Summer House is like a master class in the Gottman four horsemen. Talk about contempt.

My teenager started singing Landslide, pausing only to audibly toot. We're cooked, fam.

Watching "Seven Dials" as a person who can't tell time on an analog clock is ...

Always cool to realize your headlight's out after sunset in a snowstorm.

I'm never going to stop being irritated that Chicago Public Library still only takes cash.

Today, my kid said, of a guy running across the street, "That man looks frantic." Not crazy, or weird, or fast. Frantic. (He was, I thought he was dropping something off quickly.) But it was a small and elegant example of how a breadth of language really matters in terms of understanding.

Look, we all have a lot of enemies right now, but I'm never going to stop hating the dude who brings his typewriter to a public place.

You know how you can think you know your kid and then they do something so spectacularly amazing that you're like, is that really my kid? That happened today.

Happy Selective Enrollment Testing Day, for those who celebrate.

Hey, if you haven't moved your body all week, whether that's because of depression, overwhelm, the weather, give that a go. And maybe drink some water.

People with washing machines, run that thing alllllll day tomorrow. You don't have laundry? Someone does.