Ooh! Time to drink the cup of Moon water that I left out on the porch. I will be invincible today!

I paid $20 for a thing of shitty store-brand ground coffee. It will last like six days. Going to Sbux will cost $30. That's a weird opportunity cost.

Is there a version of that Mumford and Sons song about rage sung by women?

Finally saw a TV ad for someone other than Raja K.

At least Rubio looks ashamed all the time

Cool that he yelled at a disabled little girl to stand up.

I have never watched this person do this speech, but my kid is getting extra credit and I hate it

Is bro screaming into that mic?

You ever notice how some men smell like batteries?

This week's Summer House episode has a textbook example of DARVO. It's like a marriage and family therapy 101 class.

Today's a great day to collect your tax documents!

My garage door lock, like, broke? I honestly don't know how to approach this issue other than mix up a pitcher of Kool-Aid or invite a heavy metal band over.

Parents, where are we meeting up to do our kids' classroom Valentines? Did we get teacher flowers yet?

Betrayal is a matter of justice, a violation of consent. I can't think of much worse for a wayward partner to do than to once again violate that consent ... on int'l TV.

This week's "Summer House" is a perfect example of the "burnt-out pursuer" dynamic, for all you attachment theory fans.

I'm sure there's other people who save the wax from babybel cheese, right?

Oh wow, the season opener from Summer House is like a master class in the Gottman four horsemen. Talk about contempt.

My teenager started singing Landslide, pausing only to audibly toot. We're cooked, fam.

Watching "Seven Dials" as a person who can't tell time on an analog clock is ...

Always cool to realize your headlight's out after sunset in a snowstorm.

I'm never going to stop being irritated that Chicago Public Library still only takes cash.

Today, my kid said, of a guy running across the street, "That man looks frantic." Not crazy, or weird, or fast. Frantic. (He was, I thought he was dropping something off quickly.) But it was a small and elegant example of how a breadth of language really matters in terms of understanding.

Look, we all have a lot of enemies right now, but I'm never going to stop hating the dude who brings his typewriter to a public place.

You know how you can think you know your kid and then they do something so spectacularly amazing that you're like, is that really my kid? That happened today.

Happy Selective Enrollment Testing Day, for those who celebrate.

Hey, if you haven't moved your body all week, whether that's because of depression, overwhelm, the weather, give that a go. And maybe drink some water.

People with washing machines, run that thing alllllll day tomorrow. You don't have laundry? Someone does.

Has anyone here done an online masters in counseling program that was 1) good and 2) not insanely costly?

The plumbing crew replacing my lead service line can't get through the MANY FEET of old garbage my house was built upon. #cursed

Oh, insomnia. I haven't missed you, but now I have a very clean bedroom.

Apparently, it's cold enough to literally break my garage door, but it's not even that cold?

Just do a lot of laundry.

All I'll say as a California who has lived In Chicago for a few decades, I've never bitched about the weather the way Midwesterners do. It's not a real advantage.

It's absolutely pouring out. Nice January we're having here.

As a person who can only give an extremely useful gift, Maldon Salt is at the top of my list. So are the following: fire extinguishers, first aid kit, stamps, light bulbs, vanilla extract, good olive oil, firewood, emergency rations.

Anyone remember when department stores in, like, regular towns employed a whole armada of ladies to wrap your gifts for free?

In other news, enjoy this Illinois license plate in support of education. Zoom in!

How do any teenagers make it to adulthood? I just saw two high school students cruising down Foster Avenue on a Lime scooter holding a Domino's Pizza.

It's a good reminder to be super cool to the pharmacist. It's not their fault your deductible reset.

I signed up for a triathlon this summer. I have done many triathlons. Why did I forget that triathlons include running?

Sure I'm not the only CPS parent to realize that kids don't actually have school tomorrow.

Too bad the Sacklers weren't Venezuelan, I guess.

Is this Kelly Dodd from RHOC?

About to watch the Stranger Things finale. I don't know anything about this show, other than that there's a person called 11, bikes and a weird flower? And that the "Back in Chicago" singer is in it.

I have literally gone to every news news, station's website and all I find are outdated broadcasts or murder shows? Nothing is actually about Chicago New Year's Eve.

Strange question for the Chicago hive mind: The city is replacing my lead service line. Part of the deal is that I'm supposed to use some kind of water pitcher they provide because of sediment or whatever. However, I have a bidet that I have grown very fond of. Thoughts?

I was in line at Subway behind Corey Feldman and his gf when he ordered a cold cut combo.

Saw a Cybertruck painted what could be most charitably called "aged brine."

You know how you're watching a documentary about a famous dude who crashes out and gets it together, and you're thinking, "Hey, good for you, guy," and then his DECIDEDLY YOUNGER girlfriend comes onscreen and you're like, "Oh."

Are we really doing fireworks at midnight for Xmas? Do we really want to alert the neighborhood children to their parents frantically wrapping stuff?