Regularly Douse Your Spiral Staircase With Ambiguous Bin Juice For Maximum Effectiveness

My Longest “Devastating News, Lads” Ever

You've been hit by You've been struck by My ass

WHAT I LEARNED IN BOATING SCHOOL IS

Bewildered by Collins, who complains of dreaming of ghouls and devils all night after shoving three melatonin pills into his anal cavity and "phreaking it"!

Bring me my rose gold iPhone 6S, Lieutenant Gore. I have a kink to shame.

When it friday !

My neck My back My crusty cock And sack

BADLY INJURED MAN NOT DONE PARTYING YET

What’s good, homeboy!

I Don’t Want

Had an extremely frustrating argument with Collins, who attempted to convince me that horses are real!

CORE MUSCELS MROE LIKE GORE MSSELLS

CROZIERE DOSNOT KNOW THE JOJ OF TETRIES CHOCLAY ORNAGE

Weekes, what exactly do you mean when you ask whether the ship is creepy or wet?

Awooga

Bring me my rose gold iPhone 6S, Lt. Gore. I’ve got a kink to shame.

Well, Stanley, I really do wish you'd remove that rubber clown nose while you're eating my ass.

Francis, do you have any idea who might have written “I’m the helldude” all over the stewards’ quarters?

Had an extremely frustrating argument with Collins, who attempted to convince me that horses are real!

number one

Gently critiqued Lieutenant Gore's powerpoint presentation on the Top Five Folding Chairs He'd Like To Die In after which he fired a pistol point-blank into my skull in response!

my tits so wide can’t walk through the door

i am available for comment on the above topic and/or anything related to the terror, franklin expedition fandom, etc if anyone is writing 👁️👄👁️ or even better i will write about it for you …

Very upset with Blanky, who kept interrupting his own funeral to complain about the hymnal selection and remind me Pink Floyd is the only band he's allowed to listen to!

Trapped in an oubliette by Osmer, who proceeded to present his pinboard demonstrating the evidence that Imagine Dragons had plagiarized Luigi Thunder!

play that fronky music white boy

FRIDAY AGAIN CROZY BABY

well you see i am what the kids call a pussy magnet

I've recently been advised by Sir John to "be cool, be wild, and be groovy"!

Exhausted by mediating the latest dispute among the seamen. Strong continuously claims Hornby cannot file a class action lawsuit, as he has no class, gets no action, and does not own a suit!

Disappointed to learn that history will remember me as an effete aristocrat and "lisping little bastard"!

Hello there, sailor! I love your tote! Yes, lad I love your tote too and the activism awareness slogan! Lol thank you it's very progressive and Idea. Hey, I have some seal meat in my tote- would you like to share it with me? Id be delighted, sailor, I love seal meat it's very trending.

Turned away from the scurvy cellar by Le Vesconte, who claims he's come down with a terrible case of sloth brain!

Arctic Expedition II: Revenge of Janky Franky is neither janky nor Franky. It's trash. O stars

Okay Siri How to be sexy while being shot through the shoulder with a rifled musket

Babe.... I'm scred

Furious with Gore, who’s entered a dissociative rage & killed dozens as his latest murderous sex fursona, Thiccabod Crane!

Irritated with Osmer, who's dumped what's left of our lime juice into the ocean after announcing there were chemicals in it turning the cockroaches gay!

Trapped in one corner of the ship’s mess by Harry “Death Stranding” Goodsir, who is drinking beer in the nude!

Evening, lads! Off to discipline Hornby for his unsubstantiated claims that his pussy tastes like Cherry Coke!

Frustrated with Fairholme, who's declared himself an Evil Batman from the Dark Multiverse and cut off Little's dick and balls!

Awoke in terrible pain this morning with puncture wounds on my sternum and Le Vesconte insisting upon being addressed as Los Feratu!

CROZIERE DOSNOT KNOW THE JOJ OF TETRIES CHOCLAY ORNAGE

I’ve achieved sentience!

Perplexed by Gore, who has declared himself “Booktok’s new boyfriend”!

HE SINGS THE SONGS THAT REMIND HIM OF THE SONGS THAT REMIND HIM OF THE PISS

Another year in a hell of my own making!

Awooga