Does Donald's annual physical include a visit to a gyneckologist?

Ok, fine, Donald didn't get the Nobel Peace Prize, but I'm taking to the street if he's isn't named People's 2025 Sexiest Man Alive. #NobelPrize

Donald's doctors say he colors inside the lines better than 80% of six year olds.

SETTLE DOWN! SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN! Donald didn't get the Peace Prize, but he can still get the Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences. Nobody else has brought drug prices down 1,500%, saved the economy and the world with tariffs, while being muscular & sexy with perfect cognitive abilities. #NobelPrize

I want the Nobel Peace Prize to go to whoever would piss off magats the most. Taylor Swift, Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton, Bad Bunny, Adam Schiff, Saturday Night Live? Who else would be good? #NobelPeacePrize

Halloween costume ideas. You're welcome. #Halloween

I just got my 2025 Covid vaccine. Long story short, now I have autism. And cancer. Thanks Obama.

The only war in Portland is the price war between Trader Joe's and Whole Foods on organic avocados. #Portland

I've decided to teach a class at Liberty University. It's ENG 101 Apostrophes: How do They Work

"Oops! I just craptured my pants. "

Is there a specific word for when white people, often men, intentionally mispronounce a black person's name? Like when people learned how to pronounce "Kamala" and then continued to act like they couldn't say it or didn't know how to say it.

Hmm, maybe I am a radical leftist. Leftist ideology: equality, acceptance, kindness, fairness, due process, the rule of law, equal protection under the law, facts (e.g., science, medicine, history), democracy, education, anti-discrimination, anti-fascism. What else goes under leftist ideology?

Charlie Kirk died like a dog. What? I'm talking about one of Kristy Noem's dogs. #CharlieKirk

"Out of context" is the latest and dumbest right wing talking point.

The only thing Charlie and Jesus had in common was that they were both holey. #CharlieKirk #Jesus

Conservatives aren’t known for their humor; however, I’ve got to give it to them this time. "I am Charlie Kirk" is funny AF. #CharlieKirk

For Charlie

I suspect the 2003 pedophilia-themed birthday card to Jeffrey Epstein was a prank by David Dennison.

I just told my boss that I can’t come into work the rest of the week because I have some undercover FBI work to do.

I post the same thing on Threads and Bkuesky because I don't want to deprive anyone of my profound observations and poop jokes. You're welcome, world. You're welcome.

BREAKING: Louisiana has a sales tax holiday for school supplies from September 5-7. Just kidding, it's a sales tax holiday for guns. #Louisiana #Guns #It'sTheGuns

I think Donald's announcement tomorrow will be that he has graduated to pull-up diapers.

Come on people. Let's not make jokes about orange smoke. Be dignified. This is how we'll know.

Travis and Taylor should get married at a Cracker Barrel. #TaylorSwift #TravisKelce #CrackerBarrel

I believe "haboob" is Hebrew for "the boob." #Haboob

Now that Maxwell told her bs story, it's time for her to mysteriously die. #GhislaineMaxwell

Why didn't the media show this angle of Donald waiting for Putin? #DumbDonald

@aimeemann.bsky.social Do you ever get accused of mannsplaining?

The next time Donald shits his pants he's going to impose a tarriff on the makers of Pampers.

I think it's safe to say Donald locked down the Nobel Peace Prize and the Nobel Prize in Economics today. And, his eloquent social media rants probably make him the front runner for the Nobel Prize for Literature. #NobelPrize

I'm not going to buy from American Eagle until I see Sydney Sweeny's jeans half off. #AmericanEagle #SydneySweeney

Jerome Powell has an undergraduate degree from Princeton and a law degree from Georgetown. Donald can color inside the lines about 30% of the time and sleep-farts in court. Let's call it a draw.

How long before Donald orders all drinking water to be replaced with Brawndo? #Brawndo #Donald

Donald has brought the price of gasoline down 4,000%. That's just science.

WTF, God? I told you to smite the 300+ pound, fake tanned, frosted haired, moronic bigot, and you couldn't figure out who I meant? #HulkHogan

I call dibs on this as a Halloween costume.

I'm watching the crime documentary The Staircase. I just watched the episode with the verdict. What's your opinion of this series, the case, the defendant's guilt or innocence? #TheStaircase

Once Big Corn chimes in, Donald will reverse his position on Coca Cola using cane sugar. #CocaCola

Are republicans going to bring back caravans/invasion of Mexicans as a distraction? #EpsteinFiles

Let us prey. #GOP

Good Ol' Pedophilia #GOP

Republicans couldn't have made the Epstein evidence disappear any faster if it were a Hispanic woman dropping her kids off at school. #Epstein

If you like your women under 15 and your tariffs over 25, I know a political party that will welcome you. #gop

@elizabethbanks.bsky.social You need to play Pam Bondi on SNL. Make it happen. Thank you for your attention to this matter. #PamBondi #SNL

I think Donald deserves a lot of credit for things he didn't say this week. He didn't call the president of Liberia "Mr. Black," and he didn't say the Texas flood was "one of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water." Let's celebrate the small victories.