I'll be honest. A chicken parm sounds good right now.

trying to come up with a pun for "disease" that will make the skater kids go "sick" I'm assuming they still say that.

Cleaning one window a day because I've got a bad flu. Didn't think this was gonna be something inspirational did you?

The creature has arrived #yunayum

I don't know who needs to hear it today, but it's perfectly legal to make funny faces at people. They can't stop you.

Giving incredibly verbose answers when asked the time or date to help any passing time travelers.

I hate today's weather, just warm enough the heat doesn't come on and just cold enough the A/C doesn't turn on

Surface tension shenanigans

tortle

This duck came running up happy to see me sitting on a bench, then when it realized I didn't have food it pooped and ran off

Feeling lazy today, so using a fork instead of chopsticks to eat my ramen.

Thank goodness cats can't talk, cause mine would only ever complain I don't feed her. (She gets fed on a regular schedule that hasn't changed in the entire time I've had her.)

I ate the lasagna now the lasagna is trying to eat me.

Colapinto the madlad actually went and did the funniest thing possible. Joke aside, not a pleasant feeling watching a crash that bad. Vegas once again demanded wreckage for the weekend. #F1

Listen, I'm working on a project. We don't need to quibble about whether or not it's the one I'm supposed to be working on.

No no no, I want cold weather when I go camping in a couple weeks not this weekend. Someone change it back already.

#ss14 is having a whole elaborate plan to wage war against NucOps only for everyone to die cause all the engineers enlisted and no one kept the power source from going critical.

I've run out of my favorite coffee. This is terrible.

At what point should my morning coffee turn into a caffeine pill?

Whenever I lotion my legs my cat comes up and starts licking it off me. Am I hydrating my skin or lubricating her bowels?

Hello Daylight Savings Time, goodbye Daylight Losings Time

There's something about downing caffeine on 3 hours of sleep that makes the absolute gibberish sleep deprived me comes up with seem like art.

Story Snippet: Chosen Names A neat little cut out of a larger story that really gets to see the light of day for the first time. #writing #writingcommunity triplemon.xyz/chosen-name

Walking through the freezer aisle when I don't need anything to fantasize about the different ice cream flavors and come to incorrect assumptions about their flavor.

Logging in today to see the people I'd ignored in my private messages transformed into Deleted Users en masse. Glad to know the moderation team agreed with my assessment of their character.

Can anyone recommend a good copper merchant? The one I've been using is terrible.

My journey comes full circle. Three years ago I saw someone showing off their Transient #Gundam Glacier #gunpla model. I thought it was cool and wanted to make one myself. Unfortunately it was out of stock. Now it's my turn to share and I hope it helps inspire someone else to get into the hobby.

Caldera is one of those words I completely grasp it is a real world, but some part of me only expects it to ever be in some fictional story.

When I put out birdseed, do the birds view me as a mighty food bringer or a hapless food server?

The floating eyeball staring at me ominously: Me: "Listen, that's a cool trick. But if you're gonna be sticking around longer than a few days you really gotta contribute."

Looking at my #yugioh cards thinking "Man, I really got to start playing in person more so I can suck at the game digitally and physically"

Is there a "-core" aesthetic that encompasses your computer having Vista installed?

Where has the work day gone, I wonder as I stare at my phone instead of my work.

Roadside

Haploid cell stepped on a diploid cell. In a huff she shouts, "My toe, sis!"

"One hamburger, hold the ham." I ask of the unsuspecting fast food worker as they watch in horror while a greased pig rushes into the kitchen.

Chekov's Gun but you practice proper firearms safety and disarm it every scene.

Listen, cause apparently it needs to be said. If you're sending me a private message get straight to the point in the first message. I'm generally not going to respond to random "hey"s and "hello"s. Especially if that's our first interaction.

Friend's little girl learned "uwu" and I thought she was using wrong on purpose. But I'm starting to think she has a point. "uwu what if the wall falls down on us" "I will destroy you mommy, and we uwu will be together forever and ever"

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and brother. I am regretting my dietary choices last night.

Waiting for dinner like: "Gosh this pitfall trap seems highly ineffective, Dave."

I'm not good at the whole introduction and new person routine. I just kinda embed myself somewhere and pretend I've always been. So if I've randomly popped up and you're wondering who I am, thanks for finally noticing me. 'sup?

It was a picture of this model that first got me into the hobby, and now at long last I've gotten my hands on a kit. #gunpla #gundam

Bro-Wizards wasting their time on spells like "Fireball" and "Testicular Torsion". I cast Water in your greaves, enjoying being known as the "Pee-Paladin".

The Bermuda Triangle but it's just stuff being delivered to me.

Gonna start a German bakery, call it Gluten Tag.