I can't do a single thing on here without embarrassing myself in public so I think I'm going to log off

I went to Two social events this week despite severe anxiety and a cute girl bought me a drink at the second one

really cute butch girl with patchwork arm tattoos and a knit waistcoat thing bought me a drink and I feel like the most useless lesbian because I didn't get her number or her social media contact and I also forgot her name bc I have such low tolerance that I get Drunk on one gin and tonic 😭😭😭

I decorated a mask

As much as the FDA's move is about pathologizing menopause and exerting control over certain bodies, it also needs to be understood with more nuance. The incoherence between this guidance and the escalatory path of restrictions of GAC is absolutely intentional.

I need to do my lipstick and then leave and I'm really really nervous

I have to go to the lesbian night alone because my friend couldn't make it 😭 screaming crying throwing up

ranking common ways people at cafes get my name wrong 1. Aisha: very pretty name, but not my name 2. "Ash-a" (first syllable sounding like "ash") nope 3: Asia, like the continent: absolutely not

you will excuse that this is a rather old photo but this is the best one I have of the full coat so this is the coat in question

the temperature is not getting out of the 30s F today should I wear the giant dramatic mid-1890s style coat to the lesbian event tonight pros: Drama and Shape and Late Victorian Aesthetic cons: heavy, bulky, voluminous

my friend and I did not make it to the lesbian night last month but we are going to try again tomorrow slightly anxious about it

I was supposed to get a call from someone 30 minutes ago it has not happened my brain isn't handling it well

everything is terrible but I am trying to focus on an ideal future where things get better for me and I get better and things become easier and I can be fun to talk to again and can be properly loved by my loved ones instead of constantly needing help

I can't be a good friend to people right now because of how horrible everything is in my life and I feel like that's not even a good excuse and I'm scared everyone I love will abandon me because of it another layer to why everything is scary

breaking down sobbing over the job search yet again because I feel like a failure. please send help

another interview done and I genuinely have no idea how this one went

I am curious if people have thoughts for me

someone please hire me I am Begging at this point

I am curious if people have thoughts for me

I FOUND CRYSTALLOGRAPHY WRAPPING PAPER! mathsgear.co.uk/collections/... #Crystallography #ChemChat #Chemistry

at the lesbian bar

I really wanted to wear my gold heels today but it is raining and they are open toed and I do not trust them on Boston sidewalks so boots it is

decided to wear my one mini dress to the trans meetup (with wool tights under, because cold, but still) wish me luck please

didn't share this yesterday but 5 minute eye makeup that is still very impactful so it's getting added to my quick makeup repertoire

I do not have a loofah only washcloths which will definitely not work for this so I would need to get a loofah but I want to try this hairstyle I think

would anyone like to give me large quantities of money I think this might fix a lot of my current issues

didn't share this yesterday but 5 minute eye makeup that is still very impactful so it's getting added to my quick makeup repertoire

I am making the active choice to trust people more than I have been taught to do and to do better this is something I have control over and I can make this decision for myself there is not something wrong with me because I have trouble with this

this was where I was for baking today and like every time I visit now for a bit it was like I still lived there and it's like, wow this has REALLY been making everything worse

the amount that "having a housemate I am not friends with" has negatively impacted my mental health is something I did not actually consider enough I'm trying to plan moving again because I'm going to have to in December and I think this has been stressing me out a lot as well

had a baking day with friends today and did manage to get myself to go despite my brain getting mad at me we made, among a few other things, pumpkin muffins using a recipe provided by @transducer.bsky.social and they came out very well

trying to set achievable goals

I want to and need to do better. I need to get back on the regular affirmations

re: last repost shit I literally have rosalind franklin themed earrings I should absolutely have worn them today maybe tomorrow

A Sharon Begley byline, almost 5 years after her death. Upon hearing the news James Watson had died, a STAT reporter said in our Slack, "I wish I could read what Sharon would have written." Incredible news: Sharon in fact did pre-write a Watson obit. And it is masterful and excoriating. 🧪🧬🧫

I did finally manage to drag myself out of my apartment to bake with friends even though my brain told me to cancel it but now the train is crowded so I am annoyed

well I did my shot and now need to do breakfast and coffee so I am doing everything I am supposed to but it will not fix the fact that when I try to emotionally hurt myself by pushing people away it has lasting consequences and I don't know how to deal with them or fix the situation

fucked up my support system last night because I was emotionally self harming and felt like I deserved not to have it anymore, did not sleep well, woke up still anxious, went back to sleep, had a nightmare about being back at home with my parents, and now it's also shot day horrible

if I had just gone to sleep when I was supposed to everything would be fine but instead I severely self sabotaged and ruined everything and now can't stop crying for long enough to go to sleep this is just what I always do there's no point in hoping for better

I am feeling unworthy of love again so it might be bed time (I applied for more jobs today and they make me feel worse than worthless every time)

A friend said he was having trouble finding a site that's a replacement for amazon. That's because the replacement for amazon is buying from a mix of: 1. Local small/niche businesses 2. Less local small/niche businesses/creators 3. Companies who make just one kind of thing really well

help how do I get over feeling like I am bad at girl despite all evidence suggesting the opposite like I don't even know why I feel like this still

technically this is a live orchestra version of something that sounds a bit different in the game but this is one of my favorite pieces of video game music

I am rather bored so let's do a fun thing that I did before but it was A While Ago so might as well do it again 1 like = 1 video game i have played with a soundtrack that I like, plus my favorite part of the soundtrack

news with a Normalized Positivity Index value between "just a bit good" and "extremely good" : after over 3 years of estrogen I have finally lost just about one (1) shoe size though it took me this long for that to happen

one person at the lunch commented on the makeup but no one commented on the hair so now I am being performatively offended

look for once again crashing the trans lunch that I'm not technically supposed to go to but they have open invited me to

Ok but this is literally unfair, Ari does one of these maybe once every 2 years, as an Indian kid Zohran has had to do this whole turn everything into my topic thing about 197 times a year at family dinner for the first 25 years of his life