grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

post a random picture or else everything will go bad in July

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

quoteskeet w ur fav pokemon (wrong answers only)

bro in addition to looking the way you do- wearing socks defeats the purpose of wearing those sandals in the first place

one of the biggest ones is when a blank pfp messaged me, “are you sera?” when serafina was nowhere on my profile & i was like yeahhhhh we’re done here fam

that feeling when you read back what you wrote & you’re like- damn some of this is actually good lmfao

i’m married costar i signed a ketubah & everything

well that was a brisk way to wake up omg 😳😳

i’m so tired i’m going to bed super early you guys

all the young cis women baristas at my job talk about wanting to go with me to the nyc clubs but i know they are not prepared for how gay the experience will be like my darlings- are y’all prepared to see dudes eating ass??

93 degrees jfc at least i get to turn off the oven for the day in about 15 minutes

87 degrees & rising in this kitchen 🥵🥵

already down with the block on move on policy costar but thanks

in taking 3 years off from drinking i reset my tolerance pretty well & am genuinely happy about that- however getting a slight hangover after having one beer is a little much guys

TO THE WINDOOOOOOOOOOOW TO THE WALLS

that raccoon’s got good taste

one of these days i’ll have to learn something other an eric judy bass lines

taking nudes all the same

oh it’s probably because of my fat thighs

i’m back to preferring boy shorts because idk why but here we are

if i felt cuter nudes might have come out tonight lolz

yeah no def would like someone to make out with please goddamn

oh okay post-sad horniness is now kicking in

spicy italian combo my beloved

why the fuck would i put my pants back on today??

i deserve this beer

it’s 167 degrees outside you guys

doggo did good- doggo stayed hydrated in the 91 degree kitchen today- please clap for doggo

i’ve yet to reconcile how for a living i have to make food for people who would prefer i simply not exist sure its not every customer, but its a whole slew of them & it sucks- like there’s simply no other way around it

i just need someone to pet me & tell me nice things right now

really depressed today you guys

i’m smoking more cigs than i’m supposed to gang

just maaaaaake my fucking food- please don’t make me crash out in a chipotle like this

bright side of today is that i figured out when im getting back to the club lmfao

what a shitty day- i’m such a fucking mess you guys

banning trans women in sports is bad enough but the amount of cis teenage women who’re going to be abused in order to “defend” women’s sports is going to be immeasurable it’s fucking gross on every level & i weep for all women today

blocking & moving on y’all

listen- i’m gonna need a dedicated team of women who love sweaty women to take care of me these next couple of days in the kitchen i can pay y’all in boob sweat, we got a deal?

gotta be honest with you- i could have gone without that anxiety attack just now

i’m eating meat & cheese in my underwear on the couch watching tv- the fuck you doing with your life??

if i could get to 1k words written today id be thrilled

aldi diet coke is the coldest beverage known to humanity

i have embraced my aged status by always having hard candies on me these japanese black coffee candies are soooooo good btw

[whispers to herself] that asian supermarket im close to does carry everything…

i neeeeeeeeed a cig you guys

just finish fixing my car & let me go for fuuuuuuuuuuuck’s sake

just fucking hit me you fucking nerd

that is a colossally failed vibe check i said goddamn