Natan
@natanswiseideas.bsky.social
📤 22
📥 109
📝 160
Director of Tricks and Schemes @Google
Basically, the English laugh like "Boh-hoh-hoh-hoh," Australians laugh like "Gah-hah-hah," and Americans laugh like "Think yer funny, funnyman?"
3 days ago
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All their grandchildren are going to change their names
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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Those kids from The Blair Witch Project are real, and they're still out there. And it's up to me to rescue them
3 days ago
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I am tired of hospitalized children asking me to hit a home run for them. My home runs are mine alone.
10 days ago
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It feels like everyone stopped talking about The Bastard Executioner (FX, 2015)
11 days ago
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Most dangerous animals: 2. man 1. thundergoose
13 days ago
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The reason that's a RAM shortage is cause I'm building a computer so long you'll never see the end of it, even if you run all day and night
14 days ago
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"Resistance is futile. Submit or be destroyed." -Guy on your side
add a skeleton here at some point
17 days ago
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The longest fingernails guy makes 300 million dollars a year. Every country in the world gives him big bags of cash in hopes that he won't come and scratch out their eyes
23 days ago
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That team is about to quit and launch a patreon called "Stopwatch"
add a skeleton here at some point
23 days ago
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I feel so embarrassed for old dogs who get introduced to a puppy and suddenly act all young and energetic. Act your age
27 days ago
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apparently there's not much evidence to back up those stories of U.S. soldiers returning from foreign wars and getting spat on, but it's not too late to start
29 days ago
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All members of congress not currently disrupting meetings until they're hauled away are complicit, this goes for me too but especially them
29 days ago
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Say, there goes that Gon Freecs boy. I think I'll challenge his resolve
about 1 month ago
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about 1 month ago
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Leaning toward my liege's ear at the war council and whispering "I'm bored"
about 2 months ago
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People like to say Wednesday is the biggest fucker day of the work week, but that's not true. Wednesday is almost Thursday, which is almost Friday. The real fucker day is Tuesday
about 2 months ago
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Not gonna say this again: "Baseball" is the name of the sport. If you're talking about the ball, that's the Baseball ball.
about 2 months ago
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Some prefer giving to receiving, but not me. When you receive something, you get to have it
2 months ago
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Silent Hill f gets my "Alien: Isolation Award for Game That's Really Good but Drags in the Back Half"
2 months ago
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The winner of the dog show gets released back into the wild
2 months ago
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Happy birthday MST3K, you taught me there are 500 Italian movies where Hercules outwits an evil woman
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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Treasure Island is starting to garner major hype among bookheads, so it's time to give my honest review. Does it deserve your hard-earned "Pieces of Eight?" Or will I have to give it "The Black Spot?"
2 months ago
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It's bullshit that I'm imprisoned in the dungeon just because I was storing my poison in the king's goblet and the king drank it. I was keeping my poison there for later. I can't control what the king drinks
2 months ago
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Sour Patch Ribs
3 months ago
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Mr. Cuomo please demand a recount and lose the same race 3 times
3 months ago
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NEW YORK! Don't forget to GO OUT TODAY and grab a FAMOUS NEW YORK SLICE
3 months ago
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My insider knowledge says cryptocurrency is done for (my local convenience store used to have a bitcoin kiosk but it's gone now)
3 months ago
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That's not what I heard
3 months ago
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Wish you were more afraid on Halloween? For $20, I will come and harm you
3 months ago
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Thin ball, flutters in wind
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Nominees are always so embattled. Who keeps embattling our nominees
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Attended a friend's wedding tonight, and none of the speeches talked about me... Guess it's true what they say... Fake friends make faker weddings...
4 months ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
4 months ago
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Come hang out with cops while enjoying a big cup of the drink that makes your movements sudden
4 months ago
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Idea for Austin Powers reboot: Austin Powers sees a "Grooved Pavement" road sign and says "Groovy pavement? Yeah!" I don't care what else happens in the movie
4 months ago
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Dentist saw me 50 minutes late, I'm stealing as many teeth as I can carry on my way out
4 months ago
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Some extra bad opinions this week. I should get to decide who's allowed to post about the things I like
add a skeleton here at some point
4 months ago
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When my dog jumps off my lap, he is a lot like Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus Christ for thirty pieces of silver
4 months ago
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Bought a couple little Reese's pumpkins because they were 2 for $4. Wasn't til I got home when it occurred to me that that's not a good deal at all
4 months ago
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evil newspaper called The Grim Tidings
4 months ago
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Whenever I rob a British person, they're always like "ohh you nicked me dosh"
5 months ago
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Top 5 most cinematic movie moments: Number 5: the shootout from Heat. I haven't seen it, but you have to admit that the shootout from Heat is the number 5 most cinematic movie moment
5 months ago
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Haven't read the article but the genetic trick that helped humans ride horses is the ass
add a skeleton here at some point
5 months ago
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My coworkers noticed I was having a rough week so they all pitched in to give me covid
6 months ago
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"My only regret is that there's no such thing as 3D movie technology, so I can't have my films leap right off the screen and scare the audience silly." -Alfred Hitchcock
6 months ago
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I hate when James Bond shoots me and my blood cascades down the inside of my gun barrel somehow
6 months ago
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It shouldn't be that hard to create new American folklore. We all just have to start telling our children that The Crubbler is going to kill them, and not to go out on Crubbler Night, etc.
6 months ago
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Workers of the world: Our enemy is not the CEO or the financier. It is the baker-man! See how his shelves are stuffed with pies and fresh breads! He is keeping them all to himself!
6 months ago
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Once again, the U.S. Military is defeated by guerilla fighters who know the land
add a skeleton here at some point
6 months ago
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