James Cameron's CARS

I don’t mean to quebrag but Toronto had its biggest snow storm on record and it was like a Montreal 5 or 6

Honan: it’s sad, tragic, that if you make fun of ice they will shoot you. Which is why I’m sending in more ice agents.

I bet Giancarlo Esposito uses the Giancarlo Esposito meme all the time

SCI_FI/FUTRCSTL.GIF

I would’ve done much better in high school had I been constantly on cannabis and methylphenidate Counterpoint: i would have simply stopped showing up entirely, lived at local shopping centre

I’m still transfixed by rehab or involuntary psych commitment scenes in movies / TV, no doubt to get over my own trauma from the ward as a kid. But what’s messed is I’m now realizing part of my trauma is a desire for do over, so I can be more dignified in the situation, get more out of it.

Dylan mackaye is in rehab, cushy rich people rehab. With cozy feel good cookie cutter group therapy. Omg I have rehab envy

Scared of watching starfleet academy Scared of the undiscovered country

Oh yeah dad? Well you just wait, I’m gonna leave home and join the professional goldeneye circuit. Then you’ll see my grenades in the stack, you’ll ALL see! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Should I watch academy? I have not found any nutrek satisfying except for lower decks, because am bitter, curmudgeonly, trapped in a world I never made

Hahaha I just realized I am entering the time in my life where people’s obituaries are gonna occasionally be people born after me, Not ready for this

They’re using BBS’s on 90210. Typical rich kids, using one of those fancy person bbs (Delphi)

Maybe all my faith in the media died when anderson cooper acted shocked & perplexed by someone thinking trump was racist, as though it was the most depraved unthinkable act imaginable, like sexual interference with a dead president in front of their captive family

I had a dream I bought another behringer prophet clone and my whole life utterly collapsed due to my inability to properly stack it neatly

Autistic things my first psych did: “I think you should check into our adolescent unit , you would feel much better in a controlled situation. I think you might make some friends” Well, not so much it turns out

Autistic things my first psych did: compulsively told me loooots of stuff about other patients in effort to give me examples of behaviour, similar situations & things to relate too, mostly remembered to anonymize them but occasionally would mix up fake names she was using

Autistic things my first psych did: overshared with deeply personal boundary crossing admissions because they presented an analog to my situation in effort to convey they understood, what I was going through, which was very consoling. (I now know this is how autistic people relate with others)

Autistic things my first psych did: one point she got focused on new drug, put me on it despite carrying slight risk of S ideation. Realized mistake, did immediate frank mea culpa, apologized & said it was very unprofessional, admitted she was wrong, in very matter of fact way. I respected that

I kick myself now for having been such a young dumb punk kid who barely took advantage of (then free) psychiatric visits when he was able. I used to bail on most visits, mostly just forgetting to go, or getting stuck in traffic & missing it. I was naive, irresponsible but also just burned out.

If I smoke too much weed I become unmanageably obsessed with building a tremolo amp

At some point I was in contact with this clinic that was offering (some) free mental health support and as part of their service they offered me a course of group therapy sessions. I told them I had some experience & group therapy sessions were my absolute worst fear. Then I realized I had to do it.

it's only tuesday

I made a song today, it’s a bit cacophonous

SILO

She’s got the ear

The cat made a great accidental synth loop using the midi functions I assigned to pads, I hate that she does this so effortlessly and I always panic & choke on the overdub

I got accused of being dramatic /paranoid in early days of trying to convince my friends who moved to the US that fascism was coming, who was dangerous. Even after trump term 1, they were minimizing, downplaying, basic apologist stuff. They said it was fine, no real damage done, fear was overblown.

To be 14 years old and making HyperCard stack animations again

Ahh shit there was a MUFON virtual meetup today but ironically I spaced and missed it

Only the dronings of an analog synth will save me now (from various afflictions caused by ingestion of too much cheese & salsa)

So, all the writers you paid to have clever opinions in newspapers are all idiots who lived in another world and are basically always wrong but still demand attention

My mom was asking about ND stress induced chronic conditions and if you ever get better & recover from them if the underlying stress is alleviated, and good fucking question, but like how the fuck would I know?

The night manager

Visibility 600m my ass

Of all the projection based thinking of the right, none has scared me more than “make sure minorities dont ever get authority otherwise they’ll start mass killing white people” like that asschunk Scott adams assuming Democrats would inevitably hunt down republicans in the streets if in power

Real superjail for actual super criminals when

I didn’t watch the rest of shogun because of the boiling torture scene in first ep, initially remarked that no fate deserved that end. Anyway how things change, eh?

It’s important and good to fight for a society where you can feel safe, dont need to resort to violence for self defence. If it can’t guarantee safety for all then it should be torn down and replaced without regret

Anyway maybe why all this is coming up now is high school was violent, being a boy was violent, but I left that violence behind after I graduated and believed in a society where adults could move beyond that, and to refute the RW incels that only speak to the truth that all life is low key violence.

What annoyed me most about my brief era of uncomfortable violence was how cool most it must have looked and how none of my friends saw it or believed me later when I recounted the stories. But I mean I wouldn’t believe me either I suppose, sounds fake

Twilight zone ep where nell from the movie nell has to beat several small astronauts to death after they arrive in tiny version of saucer from forbidden planet (yet again)

was thankful for the lessons & confidence I gained because of high school violence, learned I could take care of myself if needed, but have been so thankful to have not needed those skills for more than a moment since then. God that place sucked. Made me hard, but for what? like the movie the mist.

Also maybe during my dissociative revenge rampage fugue (maybe) I was in such a place of cortisol fuelled focus that my dyspraxia was somehow alleviated or compensated for? It felt like for once in my life my body could co what my mind told it to. Possibly just quickening Also invulnerability (?)

Told Julie about my deepest darkest shames, to pass the time & make sure she knows that stuff. It might be important one day

What do you call someone who’s just a bit implicated in murder, like just 2-4% directly responsible, is there a a certain cutoff

Watching Hudson and Rex on city tv because it’s always on and occasionally nothing else is. Julie asked me seriously which one Rex was, and I presumed the dog but had to admit I had No idea either.

Press: the suspect was killed because he had a firearm in his possession, which as you know is illegal in America

They should’ve cast dolph as skeletor, that would’ve been boss