guess who redid an entire lineup in two days for the fun of it

im so scared to start exposure/response therapy .. ive seen so many people with ocd say it works well but what if im just. unfixable

weirdest thing is being sex averse and kink positive is like. as soon as i think of the idea of actual Sex happening i freeze up and feel really gross and weird but like? everything else? hell yueah. okay

on a side note do you think if i went to a lesbian bar i could find any beautiful butch lesbians willing to put me in a chokehold

predominantly butch4butch / generally prefer masc presenting people but glowing is an exception because they are the prettiest ever i think and i love them so much

god gives the biggest tits to his butchest lesbians

oomf apologized to me for planning over so many things for dist and we had a nice talk about it :-)

IGET TO SEE GLOWING THIS MONDAY 🥹 imiss my wife so fucking bad tails

everytime i think about them my heart starts racing UGHH THIS IS SO CORNY AND GAYYYYY FUCK OFF 😭

FUCK DUDE I WANT TO MARRY GLOWING SO BAD

THAT WAS SO FUN ^_^

maybe one day you guys will get to watch us walk down the aisle together the thought makes me warm

the idea of being able to sit down and call them my wife, not just. as a silly nickname or as a joke if we’d ever have a wedding, maybe it’d be a closed one. friends only, something lighthearted i’d love to let a friend officiate it if anyone would be down haha

god i cant stop myself from thinking about one day getting married to glowing, and its so dumb because we’ve said before that marriage is too big of a commitment but. god i am committed to them. they’re one of the most wonderful people ive ever known

im also going to start a dbt workbook on the side to try and work with my bpd :-)

im being put into intensive ocd therapy !!!

i should draw my ocxcanon scissoring

accidentally flashed park because my camera fell and my. jacket was NOT covering my bra ohmy god bruh shoot me

i do not care about dist bruh stfu

i love my coworkers dawg

sometimes i liek to think what if i was a small animal with no thoughts because i think that would be so cool

purr mmeow meow prrrrr >-< purrrmmeow

i was panicking a bit but it was? actually really cool it kind of scared me away from bigger psychadelics though lowkey at least until i can stabalize myself on them

i genuinely wish i could explain in words what that felt like holy shit

work as a barista there’s queer people, stoners and neurodivergents everywhere its amazing

I GOT TO SEE GLOWINGS MOM!! AND HER GF!! AND GLOWING!!!!

wlso im switching back to edibles to stop me from overusing!!

i love glowing so much

like. amd also my weed usage was at its peak then, which? ive actually realized my intrusive thoughts have gotten progressively worse in the past few weeks and i think the weed might be the culprit. so im taking another short break LOL

dude so much makes sense now oh my GOD

the reason i thought they were something else is because a lot of them have persisted for YEARS and have gotten to the point of visualization or stimuli that i can associate them with. it doesnt help that i had been dissociating BAD for about? two years atp

ive just learned that hearing voices in your head is actually a very strong ocd thing? and that ocd also causes pseudo hallucinations ?? which explains SO much of those few like. sharply declining months where i thought i had a dissociative disorder

i literally do not give a fuck about nudity its not sexual to me i would let close friends see me topless or whatever i literally do not care bru

is it really my sona if i dont draw them butt booty naked at least once

dude i was eating one of those carmal apple lolklypops and loowkey lost a whole toothj ????

dude im so happy i got into blender

sorry you guys witness my mood swings i lowkey forget that my posts will be seen half the time and journal this account to hell and back

also dude im SO close to beatinf peak, just waiting for good gen… 🙏 hoping todays is good, ascent 7 today TRUST!!!

tomorrows gym day 💪💪💪

im such a flip of the dime i got one “i miss you sm” and im like. fully back to normal OKAY?? a full week of splitting and yeah sure im back OMAY MAN

im just not having a good time

okay. see now but what if everybody was lying to me about everything . like hypothetically what if im being spied on and cyberstalked. stay with me here right. okay. now what if, for the sake of the argument, everybody wanted me DEAD on the pavement

i startef going to the gym

moar ...

i shouldnt be so jealous

like. its no professionals work obviously but its still something and im proud of it so far

i got high asf like 2 nights ago and decided to finally start learning 3d modeling its actually going quite well

once i do up my hair again and start working out… im going to start doing drag trust i NEED to

i need to do drag

sorry im normal again