How do I explain to him (the fat dog) that we can’t not go for a walk because he’ll have too much energy tomorrow if we don’t

Today

I fear it’s gonna take more than a Bovril & a Marlboro Gold to bring me back to health this time lads

You’re taking a stroll in the Yorkshire moors, “Over here~…o-over heeere~” You follow the beckoning and happen upon me - Mokahbi, Sank shoulder deep in a peat bog, Do you drag me out or do you snatch the opportunity to witness death firsthand, I wasn’t asking for help, What would I truly want?

The two main food groups are: • Coffee & cigarettes • Alcohol & painkillers

His head’s round, but did you know? He’s also long

⚠️ Plant Dad ⚠️ Decided to try grow an avocado plant from a pit & look at the fookin thing Also critter dad check him out too

• Da’ warns me not to go down to the bog. • Go down to the bog. • Cursed by bog witch.

Maybe the Strangerest Things were the friends we made along the way

Stranger Things will end with Vecna opening a portal in the middle of the road where I’m walking John Dog, he tries doing his ✋🏻 bone breaking bs on me and I say “I don’t believe in magic mate” proceeding me magiclessly spinning his jaw tenth fold with no ref to jump in

🎶I really can’t stay, 🎶But baby there’s a peat bog outside, 🎶I gotta go away, 🎶But baby there’s a peat bog outside,

🎶Oh what a laugh it would have been 🎶if daddy had only seen 🎶mommy spin out into a peat bog laaast niiiiiiiight

🎶Driving home for Christmas 🎶Commit vehicular manslaugher up in the moors 🎶Stuff him back in his car 🎶Roll him into a peat bog 🎶Make a hasty escape 🎶Spin out on a patch of black ice 🎶Now I’m sinking in a peat bog 🎶Look at the driver next to me 🎶He’s much the same 🎶He’s sinking in a peat bog-

The face of a man who eats shit & mice but can’t bring himself to choke down his flea & worm tablet

Big changes are coming (I will exclusively be wearing tear away pants from here on out)

If you need me I’ll be the third (3rd) silhouette you come across that retreats further into the fog as you get close after the first two were revealed to be piles of miscellaneous rubble giving you a false sense of security

Passed today’s sturdy check ✅

🎵 This is Halloween, hit the dab and drop a meme 🎶

Scared of spiders gf wanting to get rid of the big spider living in a little hole in the bathroom floor Vs. Scared of spiders bf giving the big spider living in a little hole in the bathroom floor a name so she’d feel bad getting rid of him because he keeps control of the moths (common enemy)

Hate waiting #halloween

Wait that’s a ~£400 card lmao

⚠️ AY YO ⚠️

Offline gf sharing funny home videos vs. Online bf pointing out they’re all AI

Third time rebooking John Dog for an injection because the vets keep taking too long messing with him till he’s too worked up to let them near him Vet today: “Shove a gravy bone in his mouth & rough him around I’ll jab him while he plays” He didn’t even notice it, Vet inconsistency is annoying

I am in hell (Costco membership queue)

Look at the state zZz

🗣️ Boy dinner

HIT

Exquisite haul

Going to see Weapons tonight I am v excited, Hoping it’s so scary that my monocle pops off & my bow tie spins round and makes a whizzing noise before I flee the cinema leaving a Mokahbi shaped hole in the door

My nuts just burned through the bottom of my shorts like two (2) miniature red hot nickel balls, this heat is horrific

Someone in Johntown was getting rid of a friend so I adopted him, Intended for him to live with axolotly but he is comically small so he goes in the Little Man tank until he grows a bit

Handsome boy / girl awards submit your entries yes yes

Decking is finito, Also see pictured: Head of Being Annoying as Fuck & in The Way The Entire Time - John Dog

Progress update John Dog included for scale (approximate size being one (1) dog respectively)

You’re off shop? Could you bob a quid on my goon meter while you’re there please my goon license keeps bouncing 🇬🇧

Been drafted by the da’ council to fulfil my duty and build a deck

You’ll rue the day you gaslit everyone into voting me out using my reserved demeanour as shoddy evidence at best (Bare leg included in picture courtesy of those who may care to ogle)

Fookin finally took so long to get Umbreon #ptcgp

Former bed rotter flew a plane today - 2025 (colourised)

The mental turmoil I had to put myself through to find these art pieces because brain had an itch that would only be satisfied by seeing them again I had to scroll my Twitter likes for so FUCKING LON- Please do enjoy with me these two pieces by @L0st_Vegas on Twitter & Redbubble

Me (factory worker bf) waiting for Jane (office worker gf) to finish telling me about the whimsical fun games and gossip of her office work day so I can tell her I got to watch a coworker pull his own tooth out

V much enjoying the Eevee Grove art, Non dominant hand drawn barboach, my beloved #ptcgp

You could keep a fish alive in my ass crack - Sent from Hell (Bri’on)

⚠️ Listen along party when the call records from my near scamming get released ⚠️ I called for a Subject Access Request so they gotta do it or I can set the ICO on them, All my friends are invited to the listen along, Ye ye even YOU 🫵🏻 I was so cool, calm and collected come hear my entire DOXX

Enjoying a moment to himself after another long day of being an unemployed freeloader

Me when I fall for a credit hire scam

Here it is, Check out my most devious crouch walk in the reflection at 00:20, Also featuring video editor watermark because I ain’t paying for shit

Second car accident under me belt 🥲 (Wasn’t my fault this time so we Gucci (Car looks a fuckin state now though))