I have been developing my first ever stye right on the underside of my right eyelid for most of a week now. I look like someone punched me and it swelled up but didn't bruise, basically. I finally went to an urgent care and was prescribed an ointment today, but the pharmacy was already closed.

I have SUCH a hard time with this. I basically apologized to my partner this morning for being an emotional mess about their brother having cancer because I don't want to center anything on my pain when I'm so new to the family. I don't want to be a burden in this awful circumstance.

There are so many mean things I'd like to wish on people sometimes but honestly, wishing them the life that they deserve, or wishing that life treats them the way they treat other people, is honestly way more effective.

My partner's brother was unexpectedly hospitalized again yesterday due to out of control pain. A CT scan shows his gallbladder may be playing a part, but it may be other things. He was supposed to start chemo Monday but now it's being pushed back to Wednesday. Visiting him yesterday was so hard.

Today is the first warm day in a bit, so I'm just standing outside, enjoying the weather... and the sounds of neighbors fighting. Ahh STL.

I'm so behind on school work, though luckily the teacher is understanding after explaining why I've had such a terrible week. I had to record a PowerPoint presentation and good lord I sounded half asleep and just absolutely out of any F's to give, which I am. I turned it in, I don't care.

It's worth noting that my partner's brother was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer literally the day before the official awareness month for it began. Don't wait until 45 to be screened, please. James Van Der Beek had stage 3 at 46 and my partner's brother has stage 4 at only 43. Go sooner.

Partner's brother is having his pet scan tomorrow. I dunno if the results will be known tomorrow or if it'll take a couple days or whatever, but we're all prepared for tomorrow to potentially be very bad, depending on the results, though obviously we're hoping for the best. We are all so exhausted.

Partner and I both barely got sleep last night after such a mentally and emotionally exhausting weekend. We spent a couple hours yesterday with their family and it's obvious their brother is in pain but is also generally in okay spirits despite all of this sudden bad news. This is a lot.

My partner got the news that their younger brother has stage 4 colon cancer this morning. It was a very out of the blue thing. A week ago they found out their stepdad has stage 3 prostate cancer. Last Sunday was the 8th anniversary of their mom's passing from lung cancer. Everything feels so heavy.

I have a big school assignment due Sunday and it's so unnecessarily complicated that just thinking about everything I have to do has made me angry and agitated to the point that I can't even start it because I'm in such a bad mood. Uggghhh. Guess I'll be wasting my weekend on it.

A person who advertised in a local queer Facebook group about window painting came by back in December and painted them a Christmas theme with cats, so I contacted her again recently about doing a spring/Easter theme and she did it today. I love it lol.

Oh, I FINALLY watched the Uglies movie on Netflix recently. I put it off for so long because it is my all time favorite book series and I was so worried it would get The Host treatment and be terrible as a movie. I actually rather enjoyed it. It followed the book decently well, surprisingly.

I used a "copper" color conditioner to try and get some color in my hair and it didn't do an awful lot for the first go, but if I sit in front of my red curtains, maybe it helps? Lol.

Omg. Lactose free cheese is a thing now?! I'm so nervous to try it, but I definitely bought it! Also yes, I am in St Louis so it's time to try the gooey butter cake finally.

It's me, I'm the man that can't do both.

My partner and I got dinner with their dad tonight, which was honestly great and I'm glad to spend more time with their family. We had to miss their family holiday get together since we both had what was probably the new flu strain, so now we're trying to catch up with everyone individually.

Laura Jane Grace came to STL recently but she played a really tiny venue so tickets sold out super quick and I missed getting them. My partner felt bad because they didn't let me know the venue was so small. I just found out she's playing 2 hours away in May & my partner sneakily bought us tickets 🥹

It was in the single digits with negative wind chills like 2 weeks ago and today it's 67 degrees. WHAT.

If you recall, my basement flooded a few weeks back because of a sudden very heavy downpour of rain overwhelming the drainage system. Well, I just washed clothes for the first time since we got 8 inches of snow like 2+ weeks ago, and it started flooding again. The snow melting is overwhelming it.

I was complaining to my partner when we went out for brunch earlier about how my shirt kept choking me and I didn't like how the neck of it was made. I got home and realized I had it on backwards. Anyway, how I made it this far in life is a mystery.

The supposed worry that people in the Philippines are controlling American cars is insane considering people in the Philippines have been controlling American money for banks for God knows how long.

Date with the boo ❤️

A facebook post from a person who lives in Monroe, LA, where I just moved from. Yet Meta is building an AI data center in Richland Parish currently. Northeast Louisiana cannot keep power on in storms and keep its own residents warm and safe but sure, a data center is a GREAT idea 🫠🥴😐🙄

I have been trying to convince myself to do literally anything other than sit on my couch and watch YouTube videos today. I have succeeded in nothing other than sitting on my couch, watching YouTube videos. My executive dysfunction has been HARDCORE lately.

Sometimes posts like this show up on my Facebook feed and I'm reminded that not everything is awful (at least not for me, maybe for this guy though lol).

Ommmggggg the ending of @dirtaudiodrama.bsky.social 😭😭🥹🥹❤️❤️ I love it. So beautiful ❤️❤️❤️

Finally listening to the final 2 episodes of @dirtaudiodrama.bsky.social and I am AMPED.

It's really funny seeing people referring to a darker green color as "bisexual green" because you wouldn't guess what color scheme I had already planned for my bedroom since the walls are painted green. (I don't like the shade of green the walls are but alas, I am renting).

I'm finally trying to catch up on a few podcasts I've fallen behind on. Sometimes I forget how amazing Haunted House Flippers is and then I listen to another episode and woooowww it's SO GOOD.

Lmaaoooo. Finally listening to the Christmas bonus episode of @90degreessouth.bsky.social and it's the absolute best disaster 😂

If I send you mutual aid funds once, especially if you're a literal stranger to me, don't freaking send me requests for more money later. Why does this happen CONSTANTLY??

Temu, why are these darts specifically heterosexual darts? Am I, a gay, not allowed to purchase them? I have so many questions.

I only have like 3 lamps in my house and the one in the living room is entirely too bright. I'm clearly not being gay correctly, so it's time to invest in more moody lighting ✨🌈

I love spending a lot of money on eBay only for the seller to take most of a week to tell me they aren't shipping it and they're cancelling the order. Except it doesn't show it's been cancelled. So now I just have to wait. Cool.

It is 2am, why is there someone parked outside in what is clearly a residential neighborhood absolutely bumping their bass? I'm not even "get off my lawn" years old, I just think it should be common sense to be respectful to my neighbors, you know??

Dealing with my basement flooding due to a sudden intense downpour was not what my afternoon plans were supposed to be but it is what happened. Landlord tried to get a plumber out with no luck but someone should be coming within the next day or 2 to check why the drain backed up. Luckily not sewage!

I'm on the 3rd day of slowly feeling better after about 7 days of continuously feeling worse. I've added in a new multivitamin, vitamin C, vitamin D, and Elderberry gummies to my daily meds, so I am DETERMINED not to get sick again, darnit!

I have a grandson, y'all. I'm only 35 😭😂 (For those unaware, he is actually my cousin, but I helped raise his mom from birth so I consider her my kid).

Omg. I bought the @criticalrole.bsky.social Winter's Crest album a couple months ago but I'm just now getting around to listening to the digital songs and I looooooove this! I haven't wanted to take the actual record out of the plastic yet. Maybe next Christmas!

Omg there's a new Murderbot book coming out this year! I need to pick the series back up and actually read it again. It's sooooo good.

I am so tired of dealing with sleepless nights due to my throat hurting or being so dry that I can't stop coughing. Even having a humidifier going isn't helping. I've lived in St Louis about 7 weeks now and I've spent 3 of them being sick. Whyyyyy.

I'm spending New Year's day hanging out with my love. We are both sick. This is the second time in a month for me. I managed to get a lighter version of whatever this is, my partner got a heavier version. It's not too terrible luckily, mostly headaches, sore throat, and sinus junk. Still, not fun!

My gift from the universe for my birthday that was 2 days ago? Another sickness! A different one than what I had last month too! And my partner also has it. Yaaaay uggghhhhh 😷🤧🤒🫠

I also got @criticalrole.bsky.social's Der Katzenprinz from my partner, which far from completes my CR collection but is one I have been almost buying myself for a while. It's BEAUTIFUL. My Christmas theme from my boo this year was Jim Carrey, so I got all of these as well. Very happy with it all!

My partner got me the first book in July for our anniversary, then for my birthday yesterday they completed the set for me! I am mostly an ebook reader these days because of visual related reasons, but the covers of these were too awesome to not also own print copies. @jeffvandermeer.bsky.social

Oh hey, I'm 35 now. Officially mid 30s!

I have had the absolute best Christmas so far ❤️ Being in a new town, in my new home, and getting to spend the day celebrating with my partner is all I could have asked for and I got it all and more.

I had a good evening with my partner earlier and was in a good mood which is exactly why my cat Shesha decided to ruin it by dashing outside as soon as I opened the door to unplug my Christmas lights and made me spend 10 minutes chasing her around under parked cars in shorts. I hate cats.

Merry Christmas from these two Twin Peaks loving folks! ❤️📷⛰️⛰️🏳️‍🌈🎄