Discord’s business model is aimed at making money from people who use it for reasons other than I do (open-source work). It’s as if I were able to use Pinboard for free because it had decided its only revenue would come from charging a small fee every time someone bookmarked erotic fan fiction.

I am not English; but I have followed the New Orleans Saints for most of my life, so I get it

I am paralyzed by the sheer number of ways a modern employer can put badges on my dock icons that, when pursued, lead to content that could not be less relevant to me

No more threatening words from a World Cup commentator than these: “Wonderwall is playing; let’s listen in.”

In other news, the phrase I never want to hear again after this World Cup is “I've seen it given before.” I bet you have! An individual referee has about 500% more leeway than they deserve to have; if anything, VAR is showing the seams in the rulebook

Today we all get to enjoy these distinctly American ideas: * Seeing Trump fuck up something you like and being powerless to stop it * Watching other authority figures play along rather than tell him “no” * Expecting other people to be adults when Trump acts like a child

Nextdoor emails me regularly with summaries of recent discussions. That’s fine. I’m a weirdo who likes to know what my neighbors are irrationally paranoid about. But “here’s a prompt from our robot that we think you might like to answer” is among the more sociopathic emails Nextdoor sends.

We have prevailed through adversity. Time to celebrate the only way I know how

Non-US readers: if “David Beckham goes to Home Depot to help a random dude renovate his back yard” strikes you as a dumb idea for a commercial, then perhaps you understand why American fans _especially_ dislike hydration breaks

Happy for England, but I'm curious how they're going to play even a half in Mexico City — in four days! — without dying of exhaustion. Rice might spontaneously combust

“The crowd have just seen how tight that offside call was… and it did _not_ go over well.” *proceeds to show a graphic of Mbappe being obviously offside, raising the question of just what the fuck these French fans want* (Look, I'm a USMNT homer, but I would not boo if Balogun was caught offside)

If you said “Erling Haaland has 64 teeth” to my face, I’d probably believe you

That’s at least the third time that an announcer has heard boos at the beginning of a hydration break and suggested that the boos were related to something _other than_ the hydration break. “Oh, they must not have liked _that_ call from the referee!”

Paraguay is happy now but won't be when they realize they have to play… uh, maybe Sweden, the way things have been going

Look, I'm not an “expert,” but has anyone considered just running up and kicking the shit out of the ball

I’m thrilled to watch USMNT fans like myself have to grapple with optimism — we weren’t expecting a start this good! — but I’m gonna need us to find a level _between_ “I have no expectations whatsoever for this team” and “I guess we could win the World Cup?”

"It makes no sense to get the best goal scorer in world football out in a game that you need goals." — the Portuguese manager, describing a guy who scored 0 goals in the last World Cup and 0 goals in the last Euros, and failed to get any shots on target today

Spain/Cape Verde was about as exciting as a scoreless draw can possibly be. One of the tournament favorites can't break through against an island country with 1% of its population.

Seems like someone on Nextdoor has cracked the secret to going viral

Arsenal has won the Premier League. This feels strange. I don’t know what to do. The house is empty except for me and the dog, and it would do no good to yell in her presence. Consider this a placeholder for however a normal human being would celebrate.

Jira, I try not to be precious about my own prose… but when you’ve got a button in the toolbar with a magic-wand icon labeled “Improve writing,” you’re writing a check you cannot cash

If you’re trying to sell me your software, I am unsure what you hope to convey by including the phrase “built by former Palantir engineers.”

Paranoid NIMBYs on Nextdoor love posting “follow the money” without ever, ever, ever following the money

I need browsers to stop promising to restore my windows and tabs after an update/relaunch. I would prefer if you did not. I am a hoarder and you should not enable my self-destructive behavior

I get it, but this is not what is happening in that podcast. This makes it sound as though NYT columnists are _just now finding out_ that the orange man is bad. It’s more about how best to illustrate, on an ongoing basis, how the orange man continues to be bad.

Pasadena.

Me: *typing a comment on Confluence* Atlassian: Check out the throbbing purple button Me: *typing* A: purrrrrrple buttonnnnnnnnnnn Me: Trying to focus A: So you're not at all curious about the throbbing purple button? Me: No, I just— ugh, fine, what is it for A: You can take a screencast now!

Part of what sucks about the zeitgeist is waking up every morning and seeing the same A.I. debate in my timeline. Of course it’s worth talking about! But it won’t resolve any time soon, and it’s so hard to keep my own focus on the aspects of tech that I find energizing rather than exhausting

Why did I get this email. Why did anyone get this email. Can you please just send me things related to my money or lack thereof

In two-person luge competition, the athlete on top handles steering and the athlete on the bottom is mainly there for weight distribution and stability. I’m gonna be honest: that really doesn’t feel like a compelling reason to stack two guys on a sled

Ways to prove your age to Discord: 1. Submit sensitive credentials 2. Let it photograph your face 3. Show it how many hours you’ve spent playing video games about Hanseatic League trade routes

Cool, thanks for the insult. I will seriously consider using your product now that you’ve insulted me

Hi, folks. I’m getting married in a few days. As a wedding gift, I was wondering if everyone who looked at this post could internalize the grammar rules about using commas for direct address: www.grammar-monster.com/lessons/comm...

“Pelicans should’ve drafted Ja Morant instead of Zion Williamson,” said everyone in hindsight. Well, the monkey’s paw has granted my wish to shut those people up… albeit not entirely how I intended. (I wonder if that’s its whole gimmick. Must investigate.)

Replaying the Zelda games since I got a Switch 2 for Christmas, and it occurs to me that “Rusty Claymore” would be a great name to give at Starbucks if you’re bored

There are 42 episodes of _Yellowstone_ available to watch on my flight because I guess that’s what the market demanded?

Things that signify the most wonderful time of the year, according to the song: • Children jingling bells all the time • People constantly telling you to be in a good mood

ahhhhhhahahahahahahahahaa 🤘

I don’t live in Arcadia. Also, that’s not Arcadia, you silly advertisement. That is San Francisco

I’m glad Dick Van Dyke got interviewed on _Today_ this morning — and that he’s so healthy for a guy who turns 100 in a few weeks! — but news outlets must realize that any headline I see that starts with “Dick Van Dyke” is going to make me think “oh-FUCK—oh-wait-he’s-okay-never-mind.”

I could give you context to this NextDoor comment, but I think we both know it won’t make much of a difference

Man, if UCLA wriggles out of its contract with the Rose Bowl, then words cease to mean anything anymore. (Their lease runs to the mid-2040s)

Going into this thing, I thought there was an outside chance they’d get what they wanted on the ACA subsidies, but a greater chance that Republicans would eventually get tired and route around them, abolishing the filibuster in the process. Well, we got option three: a shit sandwich

Oh, OK. So first you need Democrats to relinquish all their leverage… and _then_ you’ll be more open to giving them what they want? I’ve read scam emails that make more persuasive pitches than this

The speed with which I heard fireworks after the Dodgers clinched Game 7… evokes a guy in his backyard with a lighter, hovering over a fuse, watching the game through a sliding-glass door from his backyard

*gently massages temples, to no avail*

I'm on the market again, whether the market likes it or not. Looking for a remote JavaScript role. Things I've done in the past few years — first, professionally: • Led a desktop engineering team

A platform all Democrats anywhere can get behind: • No Christmas-themed commercials in October (life without parole) • You’re allowed to send one “review this thing you bought” email, but NO FOLLOW-UPS (ten years in prison) • All other issues TBD